Bullying,,,,,

[doodles]

Has anyone's kids experienced bullying when they first got here.

[Guest Guest75]

Hi Doodles

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

Use the search engine in the bar above. There has been a few threads recently on this subject.

 

[Guest donna. evo]

Hi , soory to hear about your son, we've been hear 3 mths now but have not experienced this problem so far. Was it at school? Where about r u living I have a 12 yr old son. Finding it hard to meet friends out of school. Can meet up for a coffe if you want.

Donna

[doodles]

hi i have sent you a private message, thanks

[Guest mark&rachel]

yes we experienced it too in kids and even a bit in adults.

 

not good is it. Hard enough without that $hit

[Guest kangomik]

Our kid's didn't, but Aussie kids and adults do like to "pay you out". Which basically means wind you up.

Personally i regard it as just banter and enjoy it, but i can see where some people or kids may fall down on this. Once a chink in the armour is seen then i guess kids will go in a lot more than some adults.

 

I don't know the full story and won't guess, but have a good talk with the kids, it's good to build that relationship.

[Guest mark&rachel]

Our kid's didn't, but Aussie kids and adults do like to "pay you out". Which basically means wind you up.

Personally i regard it as just banter and enjoy it, but i can see where some people or kids may fall down on this. Once a chink in the armour is seen then i guess kids will go in a lot more than some adults.

 

I don't know the full story and won't guess, but have a good talk with the kids, it's good to build that relationship.

 

 

 

yes i dont mind a bit of banter either but 3 year olds dont banter i have to say. At that age they dont understand banter. Its bullying. Im all for Australia but this is a chink. My views only from what ive experienced

[Guest css]

Has anyone's kids experienced bullying when they first got here.

hi,im bringing my children out aged 8,5 and 20 months-what sort of bullying and how old are the children ?,is it because theyre not australian and are the schoold dealing with it-really concerned about this,clare

[Guest Chandan]

No, my 4.5 year old son is called 'Sh*t Dylan' everytime he walks into kindy by one boy at his kindy..

 

I first experienced this when walking into a local bakery and he was in there with his father. When I heard it I thought I was mistaken, his father didnt bat an eye so thought I must of been imagining it.

 

A week or so later Dylan was talking to me about this so called boy, and got upset and says he calls him it all the time.

 

I spoke to the Head of kindy and she the airy fairy way they deal with it is not on. I have worked in childcare for 12 years, 2 of those at a montessori nursery. Firmly and fairly is the way to stamp out bullying.

 

I was told that they have discussed this with the parents and the child.

On the last day of kindy we walked in and this boy announced very loudly "There's Sh*t Dylan" - I have told Dylan to ignore this and that obviously this child doesnt know that its not kind to say that to others. The teacher then told the child it wasnt nice and the child turned and hit the teacher with a wooden block (the size of a block of butter). AND nothing was done!!

These are 3-4 year olds.. I feel because I didnt say anything on the first two occassions then this little boy feels he has the right to do it.. next time I dont think I can be so forgiving.

 

Never had to experience this back in the UK.. and it makes me rather cross to see they are almost allowing this child to call names and hurt my sons feeling.

[Guest nicandchris]

yes there have been threads on this lately and its real;ly worrying, were bringing our son to aus in the hope of a better life especially schooling. Hell be about 18 months by then. Im cocerned that the teachers arnt concerned top be honest ummm

[Guest kangomik]

I wouldn't worry, there's plenty of happy kids. We all have stories to tell.

[Guest m.jephcott]

Hi

Sorry to hear about the problems being encountered with bullies.My son was terribly bullied in his UK school and the teachers did nothing to help. We have not had these problems here (yet) or at the kindy my daughter attends. I think this a worldwide problem and kids will always be picked on, no help I know, and it doesn't make it right.

[Guest css]

UOTE=Chandan;153603]No, my 4.5 year old son is called 'Sh*t Dylan' everytime he walks into kindy by one boy at his kindy..

 

I first experienced this when walking into a local bakery and he was in there with his father. When I heard it I thought I was mistaken, his father didnt bat an eye so thought I must of been imagining it.

 

A week or so later Dylan was talking to me about this so called boy, and got upset and says he calls him it all the time.

 

I spoke to the Head of kindy and she the airy fairy way they deal with it is not on. I have worked in childcare for 12 years, 2 of those at a montessori nursery. Firmly and fairly is the way to stamp out bullying.

 

I was told that they have discussed this with the parents and the child.

On the last day of kindy we walked in and this boy announced very loudly "There's Sh*t Dylan" - I have told Dylan to ignore this and that obviously this child doesnt know that its not kind to say that to others. The teacher then told the child it wasnt nice and the child turned and hit the teacher with a wooden block (the size of a block of butter). AND nothing was done!!

These are 3-4 year olds.. I feel because I didnt say anything on the first two occassions then this little boy feels he has the right to do it.. next time I dont think I can be so forgiving.

 

Never had to experience this back in the UK.. and it makes me rather cross to see they are almost allowing this child to call names and hurt my sons feeling.

 

omg,i think i would have had to say something to the boy and the dad or would that have been wrong ? sounds like a right little brat to me . I hope you sort it out soon and i wouldnt blame you at all to say something about it to the little boy.

[doodles]

Hi , soory to hear about your son, we've been hear 3 mths now but have not experienced this problem so far. Was it at school? Where about r u living I have a 12 yr old son. Finding it hard to meet friends out of school. Can meet up for a coffe if you want.

Donna

 

hi donna, that would be good, i will pm you

[doodles]

No, my 4.5 year old son is called 'Sh*t Dylan' everytime he walks into kindy by one boy at his kindy..

 

I first experienced this when walking into a local bakery and he was in there with his father. When I heard it I thought I was mistaken, his father didnt bat an eye so thought I must of been imagining it.

 

A week or so later Dylan was talking to me about this so called boy, and got upset and says he calls him it all the time.

 

I spoke to the Head of kindy and she the airy fairy way they deal with it is not on. I have worked in childcare for 12 years, 2 of those at a montessori nursery. Firmly and fairly is the way to stamp out bullying.

 

I was told that they have discussed this with the parents and the child.

On the last day of kindy we walked in and this boy announced very loudly "There's Sh*t Dylan" - I have told Dylan to ignore this and that obviously this child doesnt know that its not kind to say that to others. The teacher then told the child it wasnt nice and the child turned and hit the teacher with a wooden block (the size of a block of butter). AND nothing was done!!

These are 3-4 year olds.. I feel because I didnt say anything on the first two occassions then this little boy feels he has the right to do it.. next time I dont think I can be so forgiving.

 

Never had to experience this back in the UK.. and it makes me rather cross to see they are almost allowing this child to call names and hurt my sons feeling.

 

 

 

thats awful, the school where my child goes has been brilliant and dealt with it in the school immediately,, I would take it further before it gets out of hand, good luck

[Guest Chandan]

thanks css and doodles,

 

Dont worry I am not someone who keeps my mouth shut! lol, but as I was trying to get a job at the new childcare centre connected to the kindy I was walking on eggshells. I spoke to the Director and I just dont feel that they took my side in it at all. I got brushed off with an explaination that they explain it to this child that it is wrong. The child is 4 , I believe he needs a little more clearer guidance than a few words. I know my 4.5 year old understands better when explained "how would you feel if someone did it to you" , its not rocket science. Just consistency.

There will always be one child in every school that needs a little guidence, and I just feel its the adults who need to be "hot" on identifying it before it becomes a problem.

Sadly I have noticed that this chidlcare centre/kindy is so PC that they are doing it in a way that no fingers are pointed to blame. not that i am looking at blame, I know as a experience nanny and montessori worker that working with closely with the child who bullies and teaching them about others feelings is paramount to stop it reoccurring. And if the child can not recognise other peoples feelings then it opens up an entirely new way of looking at from an aspect of health services.

 

Im not mad or on a crusade to stop this child, if anything I want to step in and guide him the right way, teach him the right way to treat people, because its clearly obvious noone has done this already. Whenever any of my charges where bullied , I simply organised play dates with child who bullied and 9 times out of 10 they became friends.

[Diane]

I think it's a problem that goes on around the world - Australia is no better or worse than Britain in my opinion. A child may have been bullied in the UK, and not get bullied here, or the other way round. So for those saying they are bringing their kids out here for a "better way of life than they had in England", don't get the idea that Australia is some kind of Utopia, but equally it's not a hot-bed of bullying. It's just a really unfortunate thing that may or may not happen, and the important thing is to deal with it in whatever way works best for your child if it happens.

[Guest nicandchris]

I think it's a problem that goes on around the world - Australia is no better or worse than Britain in my opinion. A child may have been bullied in the UK, and not get bullied here, or the other way round. So for those saying they are bringing their kids out here for a "better way of life than they had in England", don't get the idea that Australia is some kind of Utopia, but equally it's not a hot-bed of bullying. It's just a really unfortunate thing that may or may not happen, and the important thing is to deal with it in whatever way works best for your child if it happens.

Whilst i dont expect Australia to be 'utopia' i do want my childs 'beginning life' to be more relaxed that of that in the UK. I can deal with whatever is dealt me however the prospect of having my have to deal with bullying WITHOUT there being any correct guidance or infrastructure in place in order to deal with it does scare me. In the UK i think that you know that if bullying takes place then you know the right channel to deal with it however in another country this is not always the case. Ive heard good and bad however on this site and im not so gullible to think that bullying does not happen world wise.

[Guest Chandan]

The way I look at it the best way to deal with it is for the us the parents to build our kids confidences and to educate them that indeed there are bullies out there and how to best deal with them, and that no way should they feel ashamed or sad that another person is being horrible to them is in any way their fault.

 

Most cases bullying tends to thrive from jealously or in fact if the bully is being bullied themselves, sadly often at home and has never been taught the right way to treat others, "treat others how you would like to be treated" , and some of these bullies mimic behaviour that has been shown towards them.

 

Its a tough situation, although I feel sorry and sad that my son gets a few offending words thrown towards him (which is probably done mor for effect than anything) but my son knows that its not him that is the problem, and shouldnt feel he is no way to blame for someone being horrbile. And encouraging their confidence and reassurring their place in this world is so important.

 

That there is a little boy who is behaving like this and I cant help feel sorry for the bully as there may be something deeper going on.

 

As parents, if we teach our kids that yes, bullying is a sad fact of life and teach them how to deal with it, ie inform teachers,parents,trusted adults and for the adults to "react" correctly , then one by one we can fix it slowly..

 

Gotta love Ellen.. and her catch phrase: Be kind to one another!