Schools and bullying

[Guest shellymc]

Hi all

 

Just reading a few threads and it's scaring me about the amount of bullying going on in the schools for being British. I have a 8 and 6 year old, my 8 year old was bullied for 18 months in his school in the uk and we have been to he'll and back, my son now lacks in confidence and is quite a nervous child. Just worried that if I come to oz it will start all over again, I don't think my poor son could take it again. We are thinking of moving around hallet cove or even Christies beach area so could anyone reassure me in any way please because this is a big issue

[Guest css]

im feeling just as anxious about this bullying,i have a 8 year old,5 year old and a toddler and would completley loose the plot if i thought they would be hurt and bullied at school. it seems this particular school just lets it happen. Its so hard to try and suss out the "nice" areas to settle and send your precious children to school.There would be enough upheaval for them to deal with being taken away from their extended family without going to school and be bullied.We are just waiting for a c.o. now and have been on this rollercoaster for nearly 2 years. Could someone please tell me a nice area with a lovely school, someone who has children in the school preferably,im starting to have second thoughts,clare :-(

[kildorragh]

We brought three boys over here and all started at the same primary school on the same day. None have had any problems with bullying whatsoever. It wasn't 'safety in numbers' as all are so different and never socialised during playtime.

 

We've now only got one left at the school as the other two have reached high school. All love the schools and can't wait to go every day.

 

Live Happy Valley/Aberfoyle borders.

 

All have got a much wider circle of friends than they had in the UK.

 

Don't add more stress to the move mums and dads - only worry about it if it ends up to be a problem.

[Guest kfoley0681]

one of my girls were bullied in the uk and had no confidence but i can honestly say the schoolhere have been absolutly fantastic! there is a zero tolerance for bully and i know it is dealt with immediatly but we have had no problems my girls have lots of friends and there confidence is unbeliveble! the school are very encouraging!

[Anne B]

My kids haven't had any problem with bullying or whatever for being English (although they are half Australian with an Italian surname so it probably confuses people!) and to my knowledge none of the other British kids at their school have had problems either. The children here are from such diverse backgrounds/countries that being different is normal. Maybe in some areas where there are a lot of British there maybe some resentment, but children are generally very accepting of people from different backgrounds.

[Guest kangomik]

Many children are not true aussie kids, it surprises me how many kids "seem" to be bullied in highly pom populated schools.

 

Kids are kids, and if they find a weak spot in someones armour they are in.

 

After saying all of this, my kids have loved school here, and have really grown as young people. School is different here, and mine love it.

 

Some kids are tougher than others, i am not saying it is fine for other kids to pick on kids, but it's life.

 

Build a good relationship with your children, encourage them to talk about ANYTHING, and if there are any problems you should be able to sort it sooner rather than later.

 

I remember my kids in a UK school, a child in their class used to loose his temper and get violent when he was frustrated. The teachers did nothing, "it's just the way he his" I told my kids to knock his block off, it didn't go down to well at school, but the boy suddenly never showed his anger against my kids again ( and they would have flattened him!) but still he did it to others and the teachers did nothing.

[Guest doje6863]

If you read my previous thread on bullying, you will see that there wasn't any "seem to be bullied" about it. My child was systematically abused and assaulted for some time before we even found about it. She went to a fee paying school in the Mclaren Vale area. Those of you on here who have met Grace would certainly not see her as weak. In England she was head of year, school sports captain and ironically a buddy to new kids to deter any potential bullying.

 

The school involved tried to claim, like you, that school life is different here, that there is a period of readjustment following immigration. Rubbish. Bullying is evil and dangerous and until we all say that it is not acceptable and withdraw our children from that enviroment, then things will stay the same. Of course bullying is not unique to Australia, does that mean its ok?

 

donna

 

Many children are not true aussie kids, it surprises me how many kids "seem" to be bullied in highly pom populated schools.

 

Kids are kids, and if they find a weak spot in someones armour they are in.

 

After saying all of this, my kids have loved school here, and have really grown as young people. School is different here, and mine love it.

 

Some kids are tougher than others, i am not saying it is fine for other kids to pick on kids, but it's life.

 

Build a good relationship with your children, encourage them to talk about ANYTHING, and if there are any problems you should be able to sort it sooner rather than later.

 

I remember my kids in a UK school, a child in their class used to loose his temper and get violent when he was frustrated. The teachers did nothing, "it's just the way he his" I told my kids to knock his block off, it didn't go down to well at school, but the boy suddenly never showed his anger against my kids again ( and they would have flattened him!) but still he did it to others and the teachers did nothing.

[Guest Nicky&Andy]

we came over with three boys now 15 , 13 and 11 they love everything about school and have loads of friends, aussi and uk friends, luckily we havnt heard of any bulling

[Sallyh]

I think the fact that bullying has happened to some of your / our children in the UK, and some of our children here in Australia just really shows that bullying is a universal problem and a universal issue. Moving inevitably has an emotional effect on our children as it does on us, and as parents we have to try to equip them to handle this and keep family life as good and normal as we can. That being said my own view on bullying is absolutely zero tolerance and I will not accept that my children have to learn to deal with it or whatever, at age 6.

 

(Actually, I think bullying is a problem in school but do we think these bullies suddenly become model citizens when they start work? Nah, they continue, have kids and the cycle is repeated.... 6YOs have to learn it from somewhere).

 

We had problems too here with friendship issues and what constituted bullying in my book and my advice is really to stamp it out, officially, with the school and make sure that they take your complaint seriously. When looking for a school you could ask for their policy on bullying, and also you could ask about any "buddy system" that they might have in place to help children settle into friendships. You might also find that a new start for your children, and working on their self worth etc in the family situation may give them confidence and freedom to start again as an "unknown" and totally put that history behind them.

 

I also feel that we made a mistake that we could never have forseen being a problem for our son, which was that he went to a tiny prep school in UK and then went to a much larger R-12 school here. I know they are different but we couldn't have known our son wouldn't have thrived in that situation - or been able to find friends and slip into friendships easily here. I don't feel it was facilitated well by the school but I also feel we probably sent him quicker to school than we should have. We had the choice of keeping him home longer, legally, because he was 5 and the compulsory school age is 6.

 

So think about your child's personality when you are choosing the school and choose smaller schools to consider if you feel that would be better for them settling in. My friend has just moved to Blackwood and started her children at Eden Vale primary - and has been absolutely raving about it. But she had bad vibes from another school she went to and some things the principal said, so really you can only see what your instincts are at the time. Don't make your decision about school till you have walked around it, seen the kids (if possible), and got the "feel" of the place. Give yourselves time to do that when you get here. No-one's going to be bashing your door down telling you to send your school age kids to school. I rather get the impression truancy's a fairly big problem here and there are always families at the shopping centres and I can't understand how they just go shopping in the daytime and no-one even says anything.

 

As for us - we've ended up homeschooling and that has been just right for our children emotionally and in terms of social confidence and learning. It's not for everyone, but I have had a lot of negative self image stuff etc to "undo" from what happened with my son (my complaint about the school also relates to how a teacher made the self-image thing worse, and totally refused to help my son when he was struggling with work, labelling him slow, giving him what was in my book tantamount to detentions - at 6 - and refusing to address his emotional wellbeing - so it was more than just "we took him out because of bullying"). The "undoing" has now been replaced by what we can see as really positive effects on our children and our family, so although it started from a negative prompt there are more reasons than that for us considering and doing it. I am not the only member on here homeschooling but I know we are rare!!

[Guest shellymc]

Thanks everyone for all the messages. i will look long and hard into the schools!!! my son is from a small primary school so might look for something on a smaller scale. Its so hard because we want to move to oz for a better life for the children so its just knowing what to do for the best. I know that bullying goes on worldwide but it doesn't make it easier when your son is on the receiving end of it!! As you quoted sarah, it's pasted through generation to generation and if things don't get sorted straight away it just carries on.

[Sallyh]

(((((((hugs)))))))) it's so hard to go through as a parent. Not something I ever thought or wanted to have to deal with. I was bullied myself throughout school and it was never dealt with properly, so that is why I am zero tolerance on stamping it out. xxx

[the fishers]

hi my daughter has been in Australian schools for 2 years now and there has been no bullying problems at all. Sure she has mentioned that certains kids have said this or that about other kids but of course that is kids and school life everywhere. Our experiences have been at Port Noarlunga Primary and now at St Johns at Christies Beach hope this helps

[Guest Nick11]

When we first came over we went to an overscribed school with an excellent reputation. Standards were very high. My son was bullied and isolated by others in his class. They totally took away any confidence he had. He was 6 years old. After 3 months we moved down to Woodcroft primary. A much much larger school, where standards aren't anywhere near as high..BUT he is so happy and thriving.

So unfortunately just because the school has an excellent reputation is no indicator over whether your child will be bullied or not. Sad to say..sometimes they are the worst as they never publicly acknowledge they have a problem.

[Diane]

Thanks everyone for all the messages. i will look long and hard into the schools!!! my son is from a small primary school so might look for something on a smaller scale.

 

Just as a contrasting view, the school my kids were in in England was tiny - 74 pupils in total from Reception through to Year 6. When we moved here, the school we chose was much larger - about 500 pupils I think. They had a good buddy system and the kids settled really well. There was a good mix of nationalities, and for us it was good for them to have the advantages of a larger school: the ability to field a full team from a year group in sports for instance, the variety of stuff on offer, and even the bigger choice of friends to play with. Small worked really well for them, and so did large.

 

Bullying can happen anywhere, it's wrong wherever it happens, but I don't think you can plan ahead too much for something - it's just one of those things you deal with as and when.

 

If it helps, moving primary school is quite common here, so if you have problems at one school, try another.

[Anne B]

My children went from a small quiet village school in England to a much larger school here with 3 classes per year. They love the fact that it is bigger, they are not stuck with the same group of kids in their class (as they change the children in each class each year), there are more children to make friends with - it just seems a more diverse environment with children from different backgrounds and they much prefer it.

[ian mc]

Our two kids never got bullied in the UK but both of them did here and they were at different schools as well, one at junior and one at senior school.

[Guest Nick11]

My eldest has never really experienced anything year. Last year though she was told to p**** off back to her own country by a girl of Italien descent. When my daughter pointed this out to her..the girl was too stupid to realise the irony of it!!!!

[Dawn]

Try looking at the Catholic schools see this website

 

Home - Catholic Education - they are usually cheaper than other private schools.

[Guest kangomik]

If you read my previous thread on bullying, you will see that there wasn't any "seem to be bullied" about it. My child was systematically abused and assaulted for some time before we even found about it. She went to a fee paying school in the Mclaren Vale area. Those of you on here who have met Grace would certainly not see her as weak. In England she was head of year, school sports captain and ironically a buddy to new kids to deter any potential bullying.

 

The school involved tried to claim, like you, that school life is different here, that there is a period of readjustment following immigration. Rubbish. Bullying is evil and dangerous and until we all say that it is not acceptable and withdraw our children from that enviroment, then things will stay the same. Of course bullying is not unique to Australia, does that mean its ok?

 

donna

 

I don't read everyones threads, so why bring it into this thread (did i post on yours?):daydreaming:

I did not say bullying is OK, i find it unusual that kids from the UK seem to be bullied in highly populated pom schools. You would expect the children to understand.

If a kid calls your kid a pom, and as a parent you complained about this then you would need to take a look at what site your posting on.

If you kid's life is being made a misery at school - or anywhere else- then yes something should be done.

 

Is that OK for you?

[Guest shellymc]

Sorry haven't got a clue what you are on about!!! I posted a thread about schools and bullying in oz because my son has been bullied for 18 months in a uk school and worried that it will happen in oz, don't think he could go throughout again. People have quoted some reassuring posts but don't get were your coming from sorry!!

 

 

 

 

I don't read everyones threads, so why bring it

 

 

 

 

into this thread (did i post on yours?):daydreaming:

I did not say bullying is OK, i find it unusual that kids from the UK seem to be bullied in highly populated pom schools. You would expect the children to understand.

If a kid calls your kid a pom, and as a parent you complained about this then you would need to take a look at what site your posting on.

If you kid's life is being made a misery at school - or anywhere else- then yes something should be done.

 

Is that OK for you?

[kildorragh]

Don't worry Shelly - Kanjo's reply was aimed at Doje - nothing to do with you.

 

Touchy subject.

[JHN5]

Hi all

 

Just reading a few threads and it's scaring me about the amount of bullying going on in the schools for being British. I have a 8 and 6 year old, my 8 year old was bullied for 18 months in his school in the uk and we have been to he'll and back, my son now lacks in confidence and is quite a nervous child. Just worried that if I come to oz it will start all over again, I don't think my poor son could take it again. We are thinking of moving around hallet cove or even Christies beach area so could anyone reassure me in any way please because this is a big issue

 

Hi

 

We moved over in August 2010 and my three kids started at Hallett Cove R-12 (Ages 8 girl,10 girl ,and 12 boy) in Sept. They all went to a village primary school in Herefordshire max pupils about 100, the eldest one had started High School and had completed his first year there.

 

We have been so pleased with how the have settled in at the school and how they have been made to feel welcome. The two eldest went on camp just after they started and they had a ball. On their first day at HCS their teachers came to the reception to welcome them and introduce themselves to me. We went on the normal school tour when we arrived and then had a meeting with the Deputy Principal to discuss their enrolment and which class/ year group to put them in. We had put together from their UK schools, reports and a character reference and also their immunisation records.

 

The eldest has mentioned that some kids seem to hate Pom's (middle school) but he hasn't had any issues. They have all made good friends and are really enjoying their time at HCS.

 

When you get here I would have a look round the schools and go with what feels right for your children.

 

If there is anything else I can help with please ask.