How do I fit in ?
How do I fit in ?
Last edited by Liam Evans; 15-10-2013 at 08:05 PM.
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I'd say give yourself a bit more time to find the perfect friendship 'fit'. From watching kids at high school (I work in one; I'm not a pervert lol!) it seems really common for new kids to be a bit flexible with their friendship groups before hooking up with one group in particular.
And sometimes the 'cool' kids are not so cool after all!
"Knowledge shrinks as wisdom grows." Alfred North Whitehead
Excellent post there Lazy Cow!
Be Happy!Its one way of being wise!
And...just in case you're finding fitting in more difficult than you thought - it's ok NOT to fit in.
School is a place that is sometimes not accepting of individuality. You have to conform to a social 'norm' to fit in one of the 'groups' - be that the cool kids, the nerds, the guys/gals into sport etc. As soon as school is over with, individuality is much more celebrated - in fact welcomed. In fact, if you're not an 'individual' you don't fit in - post school.
What I'm trying to say is be yourself - don't bend your own moral compass to fit in with the cool kids.
Plus, I promise you that some of the 'cool kids' in my school....well let's just say that a quick look on FB tells me they're not NEARLY as cool as the were in school which is schadenfreude bonus!
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I'm not sure how long you've been at the school and it's easy to say "give it time" but I think usually that's all it takes; find your feet, find out what clubs meet at the school and join in with the ones that interest you, whatever that is, it might not be "cool" but it'll give you the chance to hang out with the other children who are into the same thing, friendships might just follow. Ask one or two people who you'd like to be friends with what they're doing at the weekend/evening and see if you can join in - again it takes a massive amount of confidence to do but being the new boy it is up to you to make the effort. My three children (who are younger than you) have found that moving school (twice) has really helped them work out how to make friends - in the UK they'd been in the same school from nursery (our eldest had just finished year 6 before we left so she'd been there 7.5 years) and hadn't had to "make friends" as such just because they'd grown up with the same children so moving here was a real challenge for them.
Are there any out of school clubs you'd be interested in like Scouts (the Fulham Sea Scouts group is great) which would give you another way to make friends and also give you something else to talk about at school? Perhaps you could seek out some of the other new arrivals because I imagine they too are looking for friends, even if it's just short term once people see you're a friendly kind of guy they'll want to be your friend too.
There's a guy on here as well who has contacts at a flying school somewhere - perhaps go along there? His name will come to me later but forget it at the moment (Doug?)...I bet if you were having flying lessons you'd look really cool!
Sometimes the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilised by bull****
Henley High is a sport's specialist with a very good name, school 4 of my grandchildren went there they have done well just be your self enjoy sports weather you play or just watch good luck arnie
Just be yourself. You may be the new foreign kid now but in a few weeks you'll be one of the rest. Being new sucks whether you're 5, 15 or 50. As an old fart its easy for me to say this and it has already been said earlier - stick to what you know is right and don't do anything dumb just to join the cool kids - they rarely are that cool anyway. Above all, try to enjoy yourself and if its tough just tell yourself it won't be in a few weeks.
If all fails, score with the hottest chick in your class - just tell her you know Prince Harry and David Beckham !