Family and Friends - Do they really visit ????

[ThunderRoad]

They say they will, but will they ???

 

Once settled, will the 7 phone calls a week turn into a once a month quick chat, then an update email every 6 months????

 

In your experience do people actually visit ??? Or do they just say they will, but don't for one reason or another.

[Guest CHORLEY GIRL]

Hi there,

 

Good question it was only the other day i was discussing this with OH. He was taking the p*** and said you could not live without your mobile. I thought about it and i am constantly talking to people whether it be to him, other family members, friends, work etc.

 

Everyone has said they will come and visit and there is Skype, webcam etc but with the time difference it makes me wonder how feasible it is to talk so often to so many people. When i started to think about it, i thought when i get in from work they will be in bed and vice versa. Also there are times throughout the day at work when i ring people friends etc will i be able to do that over there? Probably not.

 

With the cost of mobile to mobile is it expensive? When i call people i don't talk for 10mins my conversations last about an hour with my friends, gosh this isn't painting very good picture:biglaugh:

 

Oh my god how will i survive without a good gossip:chatterbox:

 

Jo x

[ThunderRoad]

Hi Jo,

 

May I say you sound exactly like my OH. She lives on the phone. Now this is concerning ( not due to the bill !) , but for the reasons you state...time difference etc. Now couple this with no family or friends visiting from home I can see issues.

 

I suppose it gives greater importance in finding new friends and socialising when we are out there. I've got to get someone who is willing to speak to my wife on the phone......someone.......anyone:SLEEP: Boy can she talk !!!!

[Guest CHORLEY GIRL]

Well we will be over in Jan so i will quite happily meet up and give her my number providing she is prepared to be bored to death for hours listening to me tell her how much i miss Chorley:biglaugh:

 

No will chat for hours even my friends can't believe how long we have been talking for, but i think silly things like this start to go through your mind once it comes closer to the time, i'm sure it happens to everyone, i hope!!!

 

Jo x:)

[Guest Wersal Gummage]

A question without an answer I think.

Many familys do and many familys dont, it all depends on the family.

My family never said they would and they didnt, so at least they were honest.

[Guest Guest75]

They say they will, but will they ???

 

Once settled, will the 7 phone calls a week turn into a once a month quick chat, then an update email every 6 months????

 

In your experience do people actually visit ??? Or do they just say they will, but don't for one reason or another.

 

It does die off after a while.

The novelty goes I'm afraid.

 

All of our close family have visited - even had one of em' get married here.

 

Trouble is that your house turns into a hotel - with guests in your personal space 24/7.

[foxychick]

many of our family and friends said they would visit - 2 years on and we have had both parents - thats it.

 

Have to be honest, it feels a bit disappointing, but you just get on with it, and have fun with all the new friends you make.

 

Some people have tons of visitors - so it might just be our friends!

[Guest Nick11]

The novelty deffo wears off. We've been here 2 years and apart from mum and dad, who phone once a week - that's it.

All the people who were eager to give e-mail addresses don't e-mail anymore.

Hubbies theory is that they don't want to hear what a great time we're having, the long days at the beach etc.

[jim and adel]

Got to say we're fairly self-contained and not the sort of people who phone family or friends that often - on a Friday after work, my mobile gets turned off and doesn't normally go back on until Monday morning, and Adel and I have often left messages/texts for each other that we've picked up several days later. Our rental doesn't have a landline so we're pretty hard to reach!

 

We email family (well, we mostly respond to their emails) every few weeks, and speak to them likewise every few weeks. Adel's brother has been over, and her dad is making preparations to visit early next year, but although my side of the family said they'd visit, I'll believe it when I see it. We're from Manchester and when Adel and I moved to Northants years ago the 125 miles was far too far away for any of my lot to make the journey, so I don't hold out much hope for Aus ...

 

Jim

[Guest guest3462]

Well, we've been here for 7 months and so far my parents have been for 3 weeks, then my sister came for 2 weeks and Rich's parents are coming in 4 weeks! Everyone told us they wouldn't come, but then we've been inundated. And despite it being completely lovely that everyone is making the effort to see where we live It's actually hard work!!!

 

Skype is fantastic and we get to speak to our friends and family whenever we like for free,so when we're feeling a bit low we just get online, quick txt home for them to be online and off we go. In winter, we've found the best time is in the evening here, early morning there but in summer its much easier.

 

Facebook is by far the best and easiest way to keep in touch with all your mates back home and they can see what you're up to with all the photos you post. i've also found that with all the brill friends you make here, it makes a great social calendar!!!

[Guest caoimhe]

We haven't had any visitors yet but it has only been 8 months, My MIL and FIL say they are coming at christmas for 2 months but haven't booked yet. It will be lovely to see them but 2 months in my house if I had still been at home I would never have spent 2 months worth with them in a year.

 

As regards keeping in touch you will be surprised who does and who doesn't. My best friend at home never does but a few other good friends have made so much effort to keep in touch.

[Guest dibdobs]

I skype my sister every other day at about 4pm (after the school run) and she is just having breakfast. We chat while she straightens her hair. She does her make up while looking in the web cam at herself. Its like i am sitting behind her mirror. I love it. We are still as close now as we were when we lived up the road from each other.

 

It seems easier to chat when she is busy getting ready. We don't just sit staring at each other.

 

I think the way to comunicate well is to have a routine and the time difference is not a problem.

[Guest nickyblue]

Hello

 

This is such a tough one! When I left the uk my mum armed the immediate family with web cams so we could all skype (even my 92 year old Granddad!) and I have to say that sometimes this is better then a visit - you can turn them off! I don't 'talk' to everyone as much but I text a lot! We speak for longer at a time and in 18months my mum has been out to visit!

 

Having said all of that with the GFC it is difficult. I'm marrying my aussie partner next year in adelaide and due to money being so tight (and jobs not so certain in UK) a couple of people who initially said they would come just cant afford it!

 

So I don't think it's that people don't visit it's sometimes that, with all the best intentions in the world, it is a long way and what you thought was posible may not be in the cold light of day!

 

not perfect but what can you do!

 

Nic

[Guest Fancy a Beer]

They say they will, but will they ???

 

Once settled, will the 7 phone calls a week turn into a once a month quick chat, then an update email every 6 months????

 

In your experience do people actually visit ??? Or do they just say they will, but don't for one reason or another.

 

 

 

The strange thing we found is the ones you think definatly will come dont and the ones you think will never come do! So to speak! The phone calls are practically non-existant now nearly 3 years in, many have the "Well you decided to move away therefore its down to you to keep in touch"! attitude.

 

I think that Facebook means we keep in touch with many we wouldn't do if it wasnt for Facebook if that makes sense!!

 

As for visitors we not had many, but now seem to be getting quite a few phone calls, but then when the visitors come to me is a whole other story!!

 

Certiainly makes you realise how dispensable you are, and how really deep down some of those people you thought were great mates really arnt!!

[Guest Nick11]

Certiainly makes you realise how dispensable you are, and how really deep down some of those people you thought were great mates really arnt!!

 

 

That is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo true.

[elainew]

I have an OZ Call Card VIP which costs only cents to call the UK. I phone my mum every day and have done for the six years we have been here, sometimes for 5 mins sometimes for 50 mins. The card lasts me a long time . You can either get a card from the Newsagent or over the internet.

[Rachiegarlo]

It's just natural progression really, your life has changed and you begin to have less in common with those that you knew in the UK. Unless they visit , they have no concept of your life here except what they see on the TV. Think back to those of you who had BFFs in primary school, but went on to different secondaries swearing you would be friends for always.....a few years down you have seperate friendship groups, do different things and probably see little of each other or visit. Move this to being seperated by 10000K and it gets even harder to retain commonalities that maintain friendships.

[Guest rachinadelaide]

We've been here for 5 years and my parents are arriving shortly for visit #5 and hubbie's parents have been 3 times. We bought a house with guest bedroom and bathroom at the opposite end of the house from ours so we could be comfortable and have some privacy when we have guests BUT... we had both sets of parents stay for 3 weeks each and decided it wasn't a good idea to have guests and that everyone is much happier when under their respective rooves!!

 

We have just bought an investment property to cater for the family visits (my parents have just retired and are planning 3 months at a time from now on...) and now we feel relaxed......

 

My parents had only ever been to France before they made the long-haul to Aus. they made no promises about coming out to visit but fell in love with Adelaide. We can't keep them away!

[Guest kangomik]

i guess the you moved statement summs it up best for me.

And the school friends one.

 

We did decide to move. so we have to get on with it, which i don't mind.

I now speak to my mother more than ever via skype, and she visits in a few weeks time.

The in laws have been twice and hints have been made about staying longer.

 

Phone calls etc can be expensive unless set up correctly.

I used to talk crap for hours on orange back home because it was in the tariff. Not here!

 

Emails dwindle out from friends, you still get the group crap emails, but rarely real emails.

 

The people you least expect keep in touch, which is good in a weird way.

 

We all live are lifes, and they live theres, we moved, they are in the same circle, it's up to us to create new ones.

 

It's a bloody good post though as many do not realise this is all part of the mind game research.

[Guest Brummie]

We've been here 39 years, and only had one cousin visit in 2004.

[Guest clairw75]

Well, I have yet to move out to adelaide but have to say that my MIL lives in the same town as us and we only see her on birthdays and sometimes at Xmas, my own mother lived in the same town as me for 20 years and was pretty much the same set up lol

 

our house is always full with our friends and kids friends - I just hope we can make a substitute family as succcessfully in adelaide as we have done here

Its the same old addage for me - suck it and see - worked a treat so far lol

[Guest Squeezle]

My Dad has already said he will probably never visit us, and we havent even gone yet!! I am sure some of my friends will come once when we eventually make it, but I am looking on the bright side and thinking of all the new friends I can also make when we move! ( hopefully)

 

Pauline