For those who emigrated. Your thoughts?
As an ex PAT from the UK to America and now Canada, I have to ask a question of those who read this forum and have lived in Australia for more than say 10 years.
Do you EVER regret leaving your homeland?
I do not want this to seem like a heartless question, but I have to tell you my own story as I have been questioning myself for over 25 years now!
While I was living in England, I was a founder member of Ryanair the second Irish airline!
In the early days I would commute back and forth between the UK and Ireland to see my four kids (I was divorced) and often got to chat with the passengers, as the planes were quite small in the early days!
One conversation I will never forget was to be sitting next to an Irishman who was flying back from Australia via London for the first time to see his family after being away 20 years.
I exchanged with him the news that I too was about to emigrate to America and asked him if he had any regrets leaving Ireland and his family. He replied:
My heart sank and I have to say that after 25 years in North America and even though I travel back to England every 6 to 12 months for a visit, I feel as if I should have perhaps stayed and tried harder to make a go of it in England, instead of uprooting myself and going to live in New York City!
Have I had a great life, yes. Have I been able to give my family more than if I stayed, perhaps, but I missed watching my family grow up and now I miss weekends with my five grandchildren..... It's tough!
I recently married a younger woman who is an angel, but is 100% Canadian and has no desire to live in Europe!
I would appreciate your candid commentary and responses.
This is what I am missing now!
My grandchildren...... :(
:)Hi Charles, speaking from the uk and having not emigrated yet i like alot on the site have lost our desire to live here. We live in the so called prosperous south east which it maybe is, but as a self employed tradesman running my own business with employes, not any debt except our mortgage we find it harder and harder to live. The cost of living here is just too much, I am fed up with banging my head against a brick wall .The violent crime here is spiralling out of control , and the bit that gets my back up the most is that there are not many people that have any respect for anyone else, no one gives a s**t its look after yourself. And i want better for my family without having to pay for it , working hard I will always do ,but for a little more reward life wise not financial.So getting back to your question believe me you aint missing much honest ,family yes ,and that one i cannot comment on, sorry to hijac your post any excuse for a good rant me, good luck with your family searching. Cheers Graham
No Hijacking on your part! You are speaking from the heart and I appreciate that very much.
Best of luck in the future.
I dont really feel "qualified" enough to answer your question as We have only been in Adl for 20 mths. I dont have grandchildren so there I cant answer either. I do however have 2 small nephews, one of which I have not seen in "real life". Yes I do miss seeing them grow, but still I would not go back, at this stage even for a visit.
To be totally honest with you I think we will all have regrets as we grow older, its just the regrets will be different as to what path you choose to take, ie. if you hadnt gone to live in the states, would you be now wondering "what if"...
I know I regret not coming here 10 yrs ago!!!
Note to gra and jac... I like the bit about prosperous south!!!, thats what anyone above Crawley used to say! We had friends from Birmingham, we said we couldnt believe the amount of new cars on the way there and told them so.... In turn when they came to see us they couldnt belive the amount of older cars!! Prosperous south....load of codswallopp
the england you left 25yrs ago is not the england NOW!!!
having left 'my' country 6 years ago - admittingly only from austria to the uk (:p) - but still, i left everyone (friends and family) behind to be with my now husband!
and soon we'll be off to adelaide (including our 2 children)!
to answer your question i do not regret having moved away. the first 2ish years were very difficult though and i missed especially my friends alot. because friends is what you can chose yourself - family you can't!
i do get on with all my family but still, we never were like seeing each other every week or so. mainly events - but they always were quite something (i've got a big family!)
then my brother moved away, in the country about 2 hours by car and i hardly saw him - mainly xmas and our mums birthday.
once i've moved to the uk in all the 6 years i had 3 visitors! - they did make an effort though to come to our wedding a few months back - i never expected that!!!!!!
anyways, i am rambling too - it would be nice to see my niece growing up but we are in contact via the internet and skype! i think we talk even more now - i do have to kick them though from time to time for some recent pictures 'grrmpf'
but i guess it's harder when you get older and have left especially children behind; and later grandchildren!
i for one i am not stuck to a particular place; i settle down whereever we are happy - and we can only make our own happiness!
ramble over :embarrassed:
Thank you all for your honesty!
When I left England back in the mid eighties, the country was being "over run" with Commonwealth members of the British Empire (whatever that is now!) and "my England" was no longer mine, so in one sense, I think I did the right thing. My first 18 months in the US however were bloody aweful! I was determined to get the "Yanks" to speak English, but when I realized I was rowing upstream with only one oar in the water, I joined them.... I became an American citizen just afer 9/11 and then I realized that "my New York" was no longer the place I knew and had fallen in love with all those years ago, so here I am in Canada, 4 years and counting....
Thanks again for the commetary, it has certainly be cathartic.
hi all :D
i have found it quite interesting reading this thread, as its just reinforcing how ive been feeling about the whole migration thing lately, which is that whatever path (in anything) that you take in life, means turning down numerous others. i really believe that most times in life we just do what we feel is the best thing for that time, but that never guarantees to be the right thing for how we might feel down the track.
it makes me a bit sad when people are so dispirited with somewhere they are, and maybe this is partly because it strikes a chord, but i am someone who always wants to try to focus on the positives, and not get caught up in criticising things beyond my control. a while ago on here there was a post asking what people would do if they didnt for some reason get their visa. i realised reading that that i wanted to be ok with the idea of a 'plan b'. if i had boyed myself up for australia by seeing all the things i didnt like about england, any potential visa 'no' would totally pull the rug out. as it is i have thought a lot about the things which i enjoy here (family, friends, opportunities for work and activities, proximity to europe, that peculiarly british way of queuing so politely...), whilst anticipating the different things i think i will love about australia.
it might be one day that the balance shifts, and i will decide that the things here in the uk are more important to me than the things i find abroad (which finally takes me back to your point charlie!), but that being the case i guess we can only re-weigh everything up and make the decision that is right at that time
well that really was a ramble! :o must be feeling ponderous...