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    Thread: help im going crazy

    1. #11

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      May 2008
      269 times
      I reckon its completely normal to be feeling that way.Don't beat yourself up over it either,its not selfish to miss people,just shows you care about them alot!Its easy when you are planning your new life,to underestimate just how much you will miss that family contact/closeness.You get so caught up planning,organising ect,and rightly so.Yes you probably did consider how you would feel later down the track,but its not actually real until its happening.No one can predict how they'll feel.Be kind to yourself and know those feelings will pass.Sometimes they will rear their ugly head,when its someone's birthday,Xmas,or when you just need to offload to someone.Do you have skype set up?I talk to my family/friends often(I'm in the UK)and that helps alot!As time goes on you will make close friends,and gradually those feelings will subside.Try to focus on the positives,and start each day,going through your mind what you have to be grateful for.
      clare likes this.

    2. #12

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2009
      Aldinga Beach previously Liverpool xx
      43 times
      Quote Originally Posted by churchj1 View Post
      Clare, what you are feeling are completely normal emotions that a lot of people go through when we make this huge change in our lives. It sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment but time is a great healer and if you are having fun in between, things will hopefully settle down for you. Have you spoken to your husband about it? It's hard for me to say I know what you mean as I haven't really ever felt homesick and my life is much more fulfilled here than it ever was back in the UK, but I can sypathise with you and give you a sounding board if you need one.
      The first 12 months is the hardest time for everyone as you have to completely start again, and it isn't as easy as tv programmes and magazines in the UK make out. You have accomplished so much in your first 8 months here that you couldn't have thought possible a year ago and for that you should be proud of yourself. Making the move and starting new friendships and a brand new home life is difficult to say the least, and we have to remember that we do here in the first 6 months what takes years of hard work in the UK!! It sounds like you have managed to settle into that aspect pretty well.
      Please don't feel selfish, there are times when you are allowed to think "what the hell are we doing?" we all do it and there is nothing wrong with it. You need to talk with your family though and let them know how down you feel about it all, perhaps just by letting it all out you might start to feel better, or you could perhaps plan a holiday back to the UK to visit your loved ones.
      As harsh as this seems for me to say (and I don't want to upset or offend you) but their lives will be carrying on in the UK like nothing ever changed and even though they will be missing you like crazy too, it probably won't be having the same effect on them, their jobs, homelife and social lives will not have changed and they won't have just put themselves through hell trying to make a better life for the family like you have done. When we went back, it was for the the first time in 2 years and I was actually shocked to find that nothing had changed at all with anyone.....they all sat in exactly the same seats in the pub, held the same topic of conversation and it pretty much felt like time had stood still for them while our lives had changed so dramatically for the better and we had all moved on so much!!!!
      Please don't feel like you are alone in this, you are not!!! The friends you make here will become your family and you must use them as such. Talk it through with everyone and I really hope that you start to feel better soon. If you need a stranger to offload to just drop me a pm. I can't cast a magic spell but I can listen and I can be there for you.
      Take care
      Julia x
      Hi julia lynnette here just wanted to say what brill things you say all the time, you are never negative and what you say is right, i love reading what comments you make you really give people some good sound advice and always speak the truth, we hope to be out there soon just waiting for brians medical to be done (jan 28th) then hopefully itll go thru straight away look forward to reading your next reply haha
      guest3462 and clare like this.

    3. #13
      just wanted to say thankyou for all your lovely replies and comments and pm's ive come to realize that its actually ok to feel this way. @ moonraker its my youngest daughters birthday tommorow and i think that has a bit to do with it we usually have family and friends around this year we are going to the zoo and really looking forwards to it.
      I think alot of these feelings are due to isolation i live in happy valley i drive but dnt have a car as hubby has it at work 6 days a wk when im out im ok but stay in and thats me.
      Im going to start looking for work again hopefully that will also help the situation.
      Im gonna take these next 18 months and put it down as experience i dont need to plan what will happen then what will be will be i suppose if im here or there, im sure it will be the right move thanks once again for a pick-me up some very kind words have been said to me xx
      Team 'W' and guest3462 like this.


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