Hello all - just catching up on threads from the last week and this one caught my eye particularly as this week we have been having the conversation about when we tell my in-laws.
We are currently waiting for SS and OH had stated he does not want to tell them before we have this, however, I think the sooner we warn them the better as for them it is likely to be a massive and traumatic piece of news. His brother already knows (because they are pretty close) and thinks it is appalling that we have not told them yet. Especially because my parents have known since we made the decision.
I have always found it very odd, the differences in relationships we have with our parents. I tell my Mom (and stepdad) everything and knew they would wholeheartedly support our decision and I was right. That is not to say it won't be a killer to say goodbye when the time comes, it will be very sad and I know they will miss us enormously but they are already planning on coming out with us on a visit when we activate the visa so they can see where we will be and I am sure that trips will be scheduled in as often as possible. My parents fully expected us to move abroad at some point as we have travelled so much and always shown an interest in it.
My in-laws on the other hand are far more cautious and conservative people. They moved a vast distance themselves when my OH and his brother were small, from Elgin in the far north of Scotland to the midlands (RAF) and never moved back, it means that they hardly saw their own families at all and became a small unit of a family. I already feel the impending guilt of taking one of their sons so far away. They were clearly worried that this might be on the cards when we returned from Aus in April this year as they straight out asked my OH whether we were planning it. At that stage we were undecided and he said no - but this further worries me about how they will react to the news now.
It is normal for my OH (and his brother) to not tell them anything until as near to the event itself as possible (though they see each other weekly), years ago we decided to move to London and they were the last to know, about a week before we actually left. I don't really get this lack of communication but it is the way they are. My OH is convinced that they will never come out to visit us although there is no reason why they couldn't as they are well off and my father in law is retired (MIL only works part time). But they have never been on a long hau flight and I think the thought of it alone scares them. Also my FIL had a heart attack a couple of years ago and my OH believes this is enough of a reason for them to consider travelling so far completely out of the question.
I have everything crossed that they surprise me and react calmly and happily but instinct and experience tells me that it will not be so easy and as stated in the original post, it may well be the aftermath which is worse than the initial informing.
The other point about amounts of money people take with them was also interesting to me, we have zero savings and no home of our own (we rent) and have just about got the Visa money to one side for when we lodge. We have good jobs but have always taken at least 5 hols a year and completely live to our means, we know that the moment we get the visa we will have to start saving and our plan is to go out there with about $15k - this does not worry me; like Adelaide_Bound above we have survived on virtually nothing at times in the past and I know that somehow we will get by on whatever we have. Our pot to take with us will be made up of whatever we manage to put aside and funds from selling everything we have - does it scare me? Nope, life is what you make of it and for us it is more about experiences than how many TVs we own.