Caused al lsorts of disruptions in our houshold too. I reckon that it's easier whe the kids are young. when they get to teenager they have loads of friends and they kick up a fuss even though the move is being done for them.
Certainly not easy, but it is the best in the long run.
I can understand where your all coming from. We are in the same boat my parents are distraught and can't understand what more Adelaide has to offer than where we live now. We have now decided to validate the visas as we to are worried about the work side of thing as my husband works in the building trade and we've heard things are tight. I'm trying to stay strong but sometimes just break my heart because I know i'm breaking others but I realise I have to put my own family first and think whats best for them so all being well we may be out there in the next 12 months if everything goes ok on our validating trip. And can I just add family aren't jelous or being selfish that we and others decide to go to Oz put yourself in there shoes and imagine what it would be like to lose your child and grandkids and proberbly see them once a year its very hard.
We first decided to Emigrate back in 2007. We got our visa in August 2008 and that was the easy bit, we tried to sell the house but prices were dropping rappidly in the UK. We came out in November 2008 and validated. We stayed north and i hated it, i didn't feel safe, the place we stayed in was the worse dump i have ever stepped foot in. We spent 10 days in Adelaide and i can honestly say i looked forward to the days when we headed south.
We returned to the uk with a voicemail saying our buyer had pulled out and i was overjoyed! My sister was preganant and i knew that i would be there for her child.
Shortly afterwards, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and we thought we were going to lose him. After his radiotherapy, he got pneumonia and it was hell but thats another story.
He fought it and is now in remission.
We continued to live our life in the uk but suddenly in 2010 i felt that something was missing and i realised that i was being held back by family so we decided to put the house on the market. We did this so many times over the next year but finally in 2011 i knew that our time in the uk was up. The recession had kicked in so much worse than before and all of those people that had held me back were the one's that also set me free, if that makes sense!
We accepted an offer a lot less than we wanted but we had to make that break. Renting the house wasn't an option for us because i knew if we still had our house in the uk, our life in Australia would be fail because i would always have the option to go back.
We exchanged contracts and flew within a week. We went via Bali which was a fantastic place.
Our last week in the uk was hell, 2 days before we were due to leave the uk i was a blubbering wreck, i had a complete emotional breakdown and cried myself to sleep, tears roll down my face as i remember it. God knows what my hubby thought of me!!
Saying goodbye to my dad was heartbreaking knowing that i may not see him alive again, he may have beaten cancer but he is now on oxygen 15 hours every day.
My point is .... We went through hell to get here and part of me is glad that we didn't come over in 2008 because i don't think we'd have stayed.
Now that we are here, its the best move we ever made and i think the only time i plan to return is when i get that dreaded call to say my dad is critical and then i'll be jumping on the next plane back.
Everyone has doubts, some good, some bad. I miss my dad and my sister more than anything and i look forward to the day my niece comes running through arrivals.
Until then, i look at our children and the fact that they see their dad instead of him working 15 hours a day to support us and boy i love Australia!!
I actually think coming over here with no support makes you a stronger unit, you dont rely on family or friends, you have to get on with it, sort your own problems out, and i think people will admire you more for doing so!!!!!As pointed out earlier, our time on this world is short, do what YOU feel is right and Never be blackmailed into not doing what you want by family, i agree, you will hold it against them if you dont persue your dreams!!!!!
When I feel a wobble, I always hold on to something that was said to me a few years ago - 'they can take away what you've got, but never what you've done'. As said earlier, life is short, you have to live your dreams and give it a go - if it doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried and you won't look back wondering 'what if'. x
Hi When i read your thread my heart went out to you i know exactly how you feel, we were the same, as with your our families burried their heads in the sand until we were about to go my mother was crying we were crying in fact the day we left it was like living a scene from the Waltons saying our goodbyes. We all got through this little bit though, I myself had never felt guilt like it it was horrible, we moved to Adelaide, steven settled and loved it but our eldest struggled and then sure enough mum was telephoning me in the middle of night saying things like enoughs enough now come home, she spoke to me as if i trying to punish her looking back, she also indirectly tried to make me worry about her and my dad health, I couldnt cope with it in the end there was too much guilt and we came home, we moved in with my parents for a short while and will always be grateful for this however they then moved to the coast and we hardly see them and stevens family live at the coast too we dont see them, things happen and the eldest now wants to come back and I should we say have seen the light and will always love my parents but i have realised that they too are selfish and its time for me to put my family first even if that means upsetting mum and dad, I write everything down these days and will be taking my novel with me this time to remind me of why i want to live in Adelaide and not here. Please be cautious because we have wasted so much money and if i could just have given my last visit a little longer i reckon i would be settled and so would my son, the people on here tell you to give it time and we dont always listen but it ends up costing you both emotionally and financially - i also watch wanted down under and listen to some of their comments it helps gets things into perspective. (hope this helps)
Great posts, all of them! Thank you! Carryon that's the way I see it, they're using 'you rely on your mam to look after the kids when you're at work' (not them I might note) as a reason we can't go. I want us to stand on our 2 feet as I don't like relying on others, even my mam, to do the school run etc. soccer65 I'd be foaming if I'd come back then they moved away, you have my admiration as I would have exploded! I love all the new philosophy a favourite one I saw recently was 'yes it's scary making a big life change but you know what's scarier? Regret' - sums it up perfectly for me :)
I think it's really tough for those you leave behind BUT if they're not happy for you then they're clearly only concerned for themselves. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Well, there are plenty of friends here waiting for you!
Originally Posted by thewhitehouse
I know that its not my family, but if these were friends ( even long term ones) you would not tollerate such abuse from them, and you really shouldn't have to put up with it from this person just by accident of birth. If this is the "family" that you are supposed to be staying for, and filling your life with, then if it were me, I would find this to be a convenient way to move this person to the edge of my often-visited circle of friends/family. I know that this sounds harsh - because it is, but holy crap, who are they to speak to you that way about your views on what is best for your family? And besides if they were braver/smarter/more elligible for a visa, then they might be making the same decision as you. Small minds are fearful of big ideas and strong (emotionaly) people.
Originally Posted by thewhitehouse
Hang in there, and try to think of the good and worthwile group of people that you will make friends with to replace this "accidental friend by birth". I am referring to PIA members, of course.
I agree, but WHAT IF we never actually find out for sure, and WHAT IF these things that seem so hard to give up turn out to have been given more significance than we thought they deserved at the time? I hope to have the chance for our families to talk in person someday about how hard this move was.....when we are all in Adelaide!!!!!
Originally Posted by suttons
Last edited by USA soon just SA; 11-07-2012 at 11:33 AM.
Reason: wrong pronoun