Not going through with it
Just wondering if there's ever been anyone on the site for whatever reason who hasn't gone through with the move. I'll admit we're really going to have to be tough to see this through as family are going mad about it and it's causing week after week of upset and rows. We're determined to ride the storm but I am curious if anything has ever broken someone's resolve and the dream has ended before its begun?
The people I recall reading about, not actually making the move, it had nothing to do with them not wanting to come, but lack of finances due to not being able to sell their house and business (they needed to sell one or the other or both to fund the move) and the recession kicked in and they sat and watched their visa run out.
Most people once they have their visas seem to make the move, be it soon after or a few years later before the visa expires.
I'm not sure when you told your family but most come round in time, once they have gotten used to the idea. Sure, lots will never be thrilled but hopefully things are civil before people leave. Some are not and this can cause upset and tension and perhaps not speaking to that family member or seeing them.... I guess everyone is different in how they would let this affect them. I personally would go regardless if my parents (or anyone else) were not supportive but luckily for me they have been fab. Yes they are upset but they also would never give us a hard time over it or try to make use feel bad or tell us we should not go.
Why are your family giving you a hard time? Is there a genuine reason or are they maybe just a bit jealous?
You have to move if it's right for you and your (immediate) family. You shouldn't not move just because your relatives don't want you to.
We're not going to not go through with it but I just wondered if people buckled under unreasonable pressure from families. Their reasons are valid in some senses (you have no jobs to go to, you will have no family to rely on etc) and downright selfish on the other hand. Being told 'even if you make a roaring success of it I will never be happy for you' was one particular comment. It's going to be a rocky ride!
If you don't go for those reasons I think you will regret your decision and your relationships with the people saying those things will be strained because you will resent them to some extent for stoping you from going.
Btw snifter they have known for 18 months buried their heads in the sand and kicked off now we have a visa!
There are two sides to the argument you are selfish for going, they are selfish for stoping you. You only get one life and to be honest if they cannot be happy for you then sod them. We spent the last month in the UK in Wales with friends as our family refused to put us up after we sold so they missed out for an extra 4 weeks with the grandchildren due to there own fault. If they can't be happy for you then it's there loss.
Last edited by minty; 08-07-2012 at 12:39 PM.
We're going through the issue right now of whether to go or not to go continously changing our minds. It's actually making us feel really ill.
For us the issue isn't to do with family though we do have complications there as my daughter will have to leave her dad here. For us the issue is jobs as my husband will have to give up a really good job here and is worried about not being able to get a similar job at some point in the future in Adelaide. We know its not all about jobs/money and SA has so much to offer but it's still a real worry just to give up and move especially when there are very few suitable jobs appearing on seek.com.au etc
We were all up for it last we so put our house on the market the next day but now are having real doubts as to whether we can actually quit. We have decided we will move house no matter what the question is for us right now 'where?' - will in be somewhere else in the UK or will we just take the plunge and move to SA??
So confused the pair of us right now.
Thebacons that is so sad about your last few weeks at home - have things improved or has it left a sour taste? Great to read your 6 months in thread though, very positive and encouraging!
Leanne I can sympathise with the making you ill as all this family tension is making us feel that way but the difference being we won't back out as we wouldnt forgive them if we gave up because of them so we'd be staying to have an even worse relationship than we do already. Thankfully we don't have jobs we love to stay for and we'd both be prepared to do anything and start at the bottom to live the life out there. Your situation must be really difficult and I hope you feel more settled with your choices soon x
They were probably in denial and thinking/hoping/wondering if it would be approved. And now the finality of it has hit with it being approved, they have to actually deal with it.
Originally Posted by thewhitehouse
You sound like you are coping though. Don't give up. Its your life and I am the first one to say to people go live it. Hopefully your family will also in time :) If not, cross that bridge when you come to it, but don't give up your dream for your family if you want to move to Aus. I think you would regret it later if you did. You may regret going in future years, but unless you try it and see, you'll never know.
Good luck and keep us posted :)