Ex Partners

[Guest Ellie]

Hi,

 

Just out of curiosity has anyone had any problems with ex partners where children are concerned? My Daughter is 10 and I have the horrible job of breaking the news to my ex Husband who I know will be gutted. Not sure if he will be a problem but I'd just like to be prepared!

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Thanks

Ellie

[Guest ems]

Hi Ellie

I'm afraid i can't advise you with any problems relating to ex partners but thought i'd start of for you on a positive. You never know how they will react (fully understandable though).

I will be making the move with my daughter who is 6. I had dropped her of at her dads one wkend and just thought i would mention that i had been looking at Oz (had no idea what his reaction would be). Turned out he didn't really say much so i just left it as was probably quite a shock for him. It must have been a few wkends later when he bought her home that out of the blue he said that he had been looking at Oz and believed it would be a good move for myself and Alicia (think i was then in shock when he said that). Thankfully we have talked on many occasions about things now and i know he is going to miss her dearly but he is trying to do what he thinks is right.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope it all works out, this will probably be one of the hardest things you do in this long process.

Good luck.

Emma +

Alicia (6)

[Guest katsmajic]

Hi, first good luck with it all.

Ex partners can be a sticky one, sometimes they are really understanding and other times it can get quite nasty.

Theres alot of families including us who have gone to court to get a court order allowing the children to move to OZ.

The easiest route is if the ex is understanding and will sign a Statutory Declaration consenting to the migration.

again, good luck x

[Guest Ellie]

Sorry I haven't been on for a couple of days. Thanks for the replies it's much appreciated. We have decided to ask my ex Husband and his new Wife out for a drink and take it from there. He will be suspicious for the fact we have asked them out!! It's not the sort of thing to discuss on the doorstep.

 

Thanks again

[cormcvcr]

Hi there,

 

I can't advise as I have never been in that position, but just wanted to say good luck x

[Guest Ellie]

I've done it! My ex is fine. I can't believe it. Max called our agent and he said we need to get our application in before July for September intake so I knew I had to talk to him asap. He was stunned! But he said he didn't blame us and said it would be a better life for Kirsty and he wouldn't stand in our way. I cried when I came off the phone. He said he would find a way to make sure he got out there to see her. I couldn't ask for more and we have his blessing. I'm still in shock. I was so relieved as I know he loves her so much. Thank God the deed is done. Now all I am waiting for is the reation from the ex in laws when he tells them.

[Guest katsmajic]

Thats really good news, good luck with the application now...xx

[Guest motlyman]

Hi,

Im pleased your ex is being ok about it as it can be messy as in my case.

I dont want to put a damper on it but in my case i had a statutary declaration signed by my ex which she withdrew:sad: .Apparently it is not a legally binding document.

This led to matters going to court to settle. Luckly my daughter was 9 yrs old and her opinion was taken into consideration. All very costly.

Sorry, just thought you should keep it in mind.

 

Colin

[Guest ems]

I've done it! My ex is fine. I can't believe it. Max called our agent and he said we need to get our application in before July for September intake so I knew I had to talk to him asap. He was stunned! But he said he didn't blame us and said it would be a better life for Kirsty and he wouldn't stand in our way. I cried when I came off the phone. He said he would find a way to make sure he got out there to see her. I couldn't ask for more and we have his blessing. I'm still in shock. I was so relieved as I know he loves her so much. Thank God the deed is done. Now all I am waiting for is the reation from the ex in laws when he tells them.

 

I'm so pleased for you Ellie. I am trying to sort out a stat declaration at the mo but i spoke to a solicitor and she didn't have a clue what i was talking about, she asked me what she had to write, ithink i need to contact some more. Well done and good luck with everything.

 

Emma.

[Guest Sharron & Andrew]

Hi,

 

I'm pleased your ex-husband has been so good about it. My step daughter is 16 and there is no way that her mother would sign any sort of document, she even used to say she would phone the airport when we went on holiday and tell them that we were abducting her (she is mental).

We have asked at the solicitors about going to court as we have been told that her mother doesn't even have to be there as she doesn't have regular contact with Rebecca and hasn't since she was 5. I'm hoping that they will say that at 16 she can go without a court order, but if not we will just have to pay to go to court.

[Guest Ellie]

They can apply for their own passport at 16 years old. I didn't realise until my Son's ran out. So surely there must be a legal loop hole somewhere. Colin replied to my thread and said because his Daughter is 9 her opinion was taken into consideration so I'm sure at 16 they will have to. She will know her own mind. My son did at 16 and joined the Merchant Navy and he loves it. I think my ex is ok with it because he knows that with Max out of work and the future in the building trade looking bleak Kirsty will have a much better life out there. I don't know what your step daughters mom thinks she will achieve by being so akward and spiteful. Your step daughter will only resent her for it and lets face it in 2 years she can do what she wants! It will cause her unessesary hurt which she certainly won't thank her for it. It's odd how after all these years she coming out of the woodwork? I would say that the fact she hasn't bothered with her since she was 5 the solicitors will see she just trying to cause trouble and I would say it's too little too late to make amends with your step daughter anyway.

[Guest Sharron & Andrew]

Rebecca certainly knows here own mind!! She is not coming out right away she is going to stay with my Mam for six months until she finishes her NVQ3 in childcare and then come out, so she will nearly be 18 by then anyway. I know it may sound bad, but I was hoping that by not having to go to court we could save a little money!! We must have spent at least 8K over the years going to court for various things regarding access etc. Which don't get me wrong has been worth every penny to ensure we keep Rebecca safe, but I just wish we could do it the easy way!! She even asked me last night if she could just go to Australia without even telling her Mother as she is bothered about the carrying on it will cause - I told her that she should tell her but not until the last minute.

[Guest ems]

Hi Sharron

Just want to say i hope it all works out for you. I could probably understand any mum or dad being hesitant to have a child move so far a way if they have always had regular contact and have always been there for that child, but it sounds to me as Ellie says Rebecca's mum is just being spitefull.

I really do wish you all the best for your pending move and just hope that rebecca (and yourselves) can make the move to OZ with ease and not with trouble stirred up by her absent mother.

Take care and see you in OZ one day.

Emma +

Alicia (6)

[Guest Tracey]

Hi, hope you don't mind me asking, never actually asked anything before as i'm new to this. I have to get my ex to sign a decloration also. I however seem to be having trouble with the solicitor who wants to draw it up and then charge about £100.00. My emigration people have sent me a blank stat decl. and say the solicitor should just beable to sign it and not need to charge that kind of money. Whats your experience. Trace

[Guest Sharron & Andrew]

Hi Tracey,

 

When we got our documents certified our Solicitor he said that he would look into what we would have to do for Rebecca, as we thought that we would have to go to court to get an order issued to take her out of the country - there is no way her mother would sign anything!

He informed us that because Rebecca has now turned 16 she can leave the country without any signed documentation from her mother or anyone else, so we have been lucky in that respect.

As far as I am aware you can just get your partner to sign a standard document infront of a Solicitor and then have them certify it. One thing our Solicitor did tell us, that isn't very encouraging, is that even if an ex-partner signs a declaration they don't have to stick to it and can change their minds at any time. Maybe your Solicitor wanted to issue you with a legaly binding document - I don't know - but if this is not the case then I would use a standard document and a different Solicitor!

Best of luck

Sharron x

[Guest Tracey]

Hi Sharon, Thank you so much for answering me. My son is 16 and his dad is definately ok with him going, so i have no problem there. It sounds right what you have said that he probably wanted to make it legally binding. I will call a few other solicitors and get it sorted. How far have you got with your visa? There are so many things to sort it makes your head hurt.

 

Thanks again

Tracey

[Guest Sharron & Andrew]

Hi Tracey,

 

It's much easier when you don't need 'permission' to give your kids a better quality of life, and I'm pleased your sons dad is a sensible sort who understands this.

My husband has his vetassess skills practical in Glasgow on 13th October, we should hear a couple of weeks later if he has passed and then we can lodge the visa applicaiton.

Rebecca is still in two minds as to whether she actually wants to come with us, so once we have the visa application in she is going to have to do some serious thinking, she will be 17 going on 18 when we go, so she is going to have to make her own mind up and we are going to have to support her in whatever decision she makes - hard, but at the end of the day it's her life and we can't live it for her!

This site has been a god send for me, as I have done massess of research on every aspect of the whole process. Our Agent is good, but there is nothing like the views and advise from other people who have done or are doing the whole very frustraiting process!!!

 

Sharron

[Guest Tracey]

All the best luck for your husband on 13th Oct. My 16 year old son says he definately wants to go with us but will do a year at college as we are aiming for the summer holidays next year. He had better not change his mind now. seriously i'd be gutted if he turned around and said he didn't want to come, but as you said they have their own life to live.

I agree this site is a godsend, its great to find out information. I have told my daughter who is 13 to come on to see if she can talk to other kids her age, to make her feel better as she worries about friends etc when she gets to Australia

 

Trace

[Guest Lisado]

Hi there

 

I emailed my ex-husband and told him but Alex already had when he went to visit, so came as no surprise. Anyway he said he was devastated but he would rather Alex was brought up in "the land of opportunity" than here, so that was fanatastic news for us. I have offered to meet with him and his new wife to discuss where we will be heading/schools, etc but he said there was nothing to discuss.

 

So we are just getting on with it, he has agreed and it's his loss if he doesn't want to know about the future of his son.

 

Good luck to everyoe else on this topic - I think so far it was the scariest part of the process x

[Guest Tracey]

Hi, really pleased that went ok for you. my ex was also ok with it all, saying we would all be better off over there. You have give these things a go. Just got to make an appointment with a solicitor on monday now. I actually found one who said it would be no problem to sign our statutory declaration. All the very best to you

 

Trace