The last thing i would want is my children hanging around a place they dislike for my sake, i want them to fly, im lucky enough to have parents that brought me up that way and are proud that im embarking this adventure they even understand me taking their grandchildren away,
my OH different story, they think its a mistake, only because they want him in uk around them, but thats for themselves, not for his or our families good
You have to do whats best for the future not the past, and i suspect you have done the hardest bit already
I'm from Adelaide and moved to the UK 10 years ago.As yet I am undecided whether to return to Oz,but I do know the pressure you are under believe me lol My twin who lives in S.A wants me to desparately move back to Oz.If I email her and tell her we may stay here she then does'nt talk to me for weeks on end which I find very distressing.I have my 2 aussie kids here and grand daughter and its not an easy decision.I guess in time your in laws will get used to it but in the meantime try and stay positive about the move.Maybe if they ever visit they might feel better?
We always thought we were lucky with our parents believing we were doing the right thing. But when the visa came through last week apparently mum-in-law started smoking again after 2 years and it looks like we are to blame.
We are doing what we think is right for our immediate family just like they did when bringing us up. I know it is hard and I can't imagine how I will feel if in years to come my boys want to move back here but I will always remember my mum (who is no longer with us) pushing me into moving to England when I was 19 to do the job of my dreams. I never could have went if she wasn't behind me and I know it broke her heart but she knew it was what I really wanted and so she supported me.
Hang in there and try and switch off during those calls or maybe consider telling them you don't need the pressure and if they continue you will not call as often
Hey we are not even there yet but i can sympathize with you soooo much!I have backed out once before due to emotional blackmail from parents (and MIL)as a few of you know!Yes i am wobbly again but i'm hoping that this is just normal at this stage!My parents would not even allow me to mention the "A" word at one stage (Australia)!I was to blame for all their illnesses,ailments
Originally Posted by Beanbear
depression (chest pains) the works and things become so stressful i couldn't take it any longer and i broke down one day and told my OH we had to pull out as i couldn't go through with it!He was "gobsmacked" to say the least and after a few weeks i pulled myself together and felt even more guilty on him and my 4 children so needeless to say we got back on track asap!
Of course your parents/family love you and they want you back in their lives because they miss you soooo much BUT it is for their own selfish reasons!They should be happy for you and support you as much as they can in this hard decision to relocate to the other side of the world!
MY parents only accepted this and realized where i was coming from when i wrote it all down in a heart to heart letter(may sound a bit daft but we weren't communicating without outbursts and tears so i had no other choice).
Things are a lot easier now and they have accepted our decision to go to OZ with their 4 beloved grandchildren!
I wish you the best of luck and if Adelaide is where you want to be then stay strong together (don't let other people grind you down until you fall out with each other - they would love that)
BY the way what is it like living in the Adelaide Hills (it always sounds so lovely)?
Hi I lived in the Adelaide Hills and yes its very beautiful.Will head back that way if I decide to return to Oz.Have lots of happy memories there and all my mates live there.lol
Daft question maybe - but is it very rural and cut off in the "adelaide hills"?
Originally Posted by moonraker1959
Anything to be very wary of with 4 young kids?Is it too isolated to bring kids up or wil that depend how far into the hills you live?
How different can the weather (temps etc ) be compared to other suburbs?
I used to live on a small holding here in the UK with my parents until i left home and got married at the grand old age of 28!Loved every minute of it!Had horses,goats,chickens,ducks,dogs,rabbits all as pets and then all the wonderful wildlife to go with it!Nearest neighbour was a mile away!Never bothered us though we had a fantastic life and i would be in my element to get anything like that back again!Mu ultimate dream is to get my own horse again or just a cute small pony for the kids to enjoy!They are all animal mad just like me (but not my OH unfortunately - we are defo chalk and cheese but that's probably why we get on so well)He can have his boat and go fishing whenever he wants i've told him as long as i can have a bit of something i want!!!!
Sounds fair to me!!!
Will do some research on internet on these hills i think!!!
I would definatly take this approach, offer them a place to stay if they should like to visit,(this makes a lot of people feel better once they can see where you are). And say the phone calls will stop unless they brighten up a bit!
Originally Posted by caoimhe
I eased back on phoning as it was always like pulling teeth having a convo, once Mum came for a visit she was fine, it has taken 2 yrs to have a "normal" convo with brother!
Mum was never putting pressure on but refused to talk about the "A" word. Brother said a few choice things to the kids but not to me!
Personally I'd just switch off - you are making this move for your childrens (and your) future.
Parents have had their day.
Bit harsh but true - it is for selfish reasons they want you to stay.
The Adelaide Hills is a huge area - very beautiful with some lovely towns.
Originally Posted by cunnah10
Most of the towns have fairly good transport links into the city so you would not be really isolated.
There are some great property's for sale with land.Smaller ones with a few acres tend to be called Hobby farms.There is a fair bit of "horsey property" as well.Often much more value is placed on the land than on the house .
Quite often the price does not go up according to the size of the land.It may be that the land is very hilly and suitable only for rough grazing.Prices are also held down by the fact that a lot of people just don't want the work attached with land.
Make sure if you by land that you have adequate water - whether it be a good chain of small dams for water catchment or even a water bore.
We live on the rural edge down here in Onkaparinga Hills.It's a great compromise - we have sea views but to the back it's rural.
We've had chickens and sheep.
The sheep just wanted to eat anything they were not supposed to - including neighbouring property's.The chickens attracted mice and in turn attracted snakes and in turn attracted a fox that ate the chickens - thought I'd leave it at that!!
So you and hubbie can have the compromise!!