Rude replies

[sharons dream]

I very rarely use this site now due to the amount of rude and unhelpful comments made by people. Today I have come on for some advice and opened up a thread and again someone as decided to write a reply that is just horrible and insulting. This is a site for us all to help each other. we are all trying to achieve the same dreams and if we can't dicuss these issues on here, then we would all struggle. If you want to be rude and down right offensive do it to people's face and not on an Internet socialising site. let's share our experiences good or bad and help each other.

Sorry for the rant
Sharon

Ps these are my opinions and no one eles.

[snifter]

Sometimes people do post unhelpful and uncalled for comments. I think I know the thread in question. It was one reply and the person got short shifted by a few people. You are right, it doesn't help. However, in the forums defence, its about the only post I've come across of late that has been in that sort of tone. For the most part people have been helpful, decent and given help and support.

I don't get that people say this sort of thing puts them off posting on the forum as I post here on a regular basis and I'm reading the same threads as everyone else but I'm not seeing masses of mean, unhelpful or rude replies. Mostly I see people being decent, helping and offering advice or their thoughts. OK, sometimes people don't agree on things, but that is just how it goes, we don't always see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean because some people post an opinion or advice others don't like or agree with its a bad forum or the forum isn't a pleasant one.

I don't agree with your opinion on the state of the forum nor am I put off in the least posting here but that doesn't mean I am slating you for it or calling you names or being mean in reply. I am just replying with my thoughts. Its a conversation in type :) I think you have some good points and agree the forum is about helping each other and supporting people and so on. Its not a place for negativity or meanness and other things but they do creep in from time to time, as they do anywhere in life. Don't let the odd person get you down I reckon. There are far more decent people posting here than there are grotty grumpy ones.

If things annoy/offend or are rude you can always report the post in question so mods can have a look at it and see if it needs moderating. Its the little '!' inside a triangle, the bottom left hand side of a post. From a mod POV we would far rather people report posts that they find offensive or rude than start a thread to complain about them

[Adelaide_bound]

Just wanted to chip in too - I'm a member of many many internet forums over the years, and I think this is the friendliest, nicest and least 'snippy' forum I've ever been a member of - tbh that includes other Poms sites as well. IMHO I get the impression because a) Adelaide attacks a generally more laid back, calmer, more mature and all round good egg type person than others and this being all about Adelaide (and SA) those kind of people come here and b) pure luck that its a nice place. I could be biased and say its because the Mods are so good (although most of us don't have to do much, so its not that true lol)

If you think this site is bad, really really don't go to a couple of the other sites - one in particular springs to mind where if you aren't a long standing member of several years membership you will be insulted no matter what you type, told you are wrong (by people who don't actually know as their experience of the process was many many years ago now) and generally is just a very unwelcoming place. On the contrary here, I believe, people are generally very polite if they feel they do have to correct someone and very gentle with their words. But no-where is 100% and this is a public forum where we don't pre-vet the members or threads pre-posting, the only way to combat this in the rare instances it does happen, as Snifter says, is to contact a mod and ask us to look into it and deal with it - we are more than happy to do so, but it is possible that sometimes something might slip through the net (not likely with some of the eagle eyes on the team but still - human :) ) so just report away - if people don't report things, we can't deal with them sometimes iyswim, and reporting something doesn't have any implications for you (or them nec. if its a mistake or something) so don't be afraid to give it a go.

Sorry that you feel you don't want to use the site any longer, that is a shame especially as you have been through the process and therefore may be able to offer others advice and help, however if you feel its not the place for you then you must do what you feel happiest with :) Best wishes :)

[thebacons]

Personally i think this forum is very friendly. Its moderated very mildly and in general nothing really gets posted that has to be removed.
I think we all have to understand we are a forum of different people with different views and sometimes we dont like or agree with difeerent peoples posts. Personally i think thats a good thing though as the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same.

But in all fairness there is not to much atall on this forum that is below the belt in my opinion.


Chris.

[eclare]

I have, on occasion found unhelpful or rude posts (direct and indirect) and it is off putting and frustrating that a simple question can into something rather ugly. It think it is the nature of web based media (email included). I have found the rude comments to be few and far between but I do agree with Sharon's sentiment thats its just unnecessary and very unhelpful when your just looking for a bit of help at what is likely to be the most stressful time of your life! It's not differing points of view that wrangle, its the comments that add not value to the thread and appear to be antagonistic...if you have nothing positive to add to a thread why comment?!

That said, I hope it doesn't put you off completely as I'm sure you and many of us have found this to be a very useful forum, whether you are active daily, or just dipping in from time to time. The vast majority of members on here come across as very decent folk who are generous in sharing experiences, I hope you feel you can still participate. Good luck.

[path2aus]

Rude replies are part and parcel of online forum. You will find it difficult to find a forum which is without it. I guess we need to just tread past those replies and just take the good and helpful ones.

[Kris]

I agree, I sometimes see some rude replies and I don't know whether it's because I just switch off and move on to something more positive or that people have moderated their behaviour because of other forum members' (be it moderator or member) response that it is "not on". Also at times I just read it as just having a different opinion and there isn't anything wrong with that either as long as people get the tone right. It's really hard for some people to get the tone right in a forum without causing offense. Heck sometimes I read things and don't see it as offensive but realise someone else has and then I start to see it differently too. I also think the moderators do a good job and they are definitely needed.

[sharons dream]

Hi again, my thread was not to start trouble but to remind us all on how good and helpful this site really is. I understand that my moan was for only a few members and that the majority of us are all friendly and true. I did also state that it was only my opionion and no one eles. I'm sorry if I have offended my honest pals and of you needed any advice I would be only to happy to help.

[Kris]

Hi again, my thread was not to start trouble but to remind us all on how good and helpful this site really is. I understand that my moan was for only a few members and that the majority of us are all friendly and true. I did also state that it was only my opionion and no one eles. I'm sorry if I have offended my honest pals and of you needed any advice I would be only to happy to help.

I don't think you have anything to be sorry about. I think this is a very useful thread.

[Helchops]

I think a large part of the problem with thee type of forums are there are three types of people:

1) Those that are starting the process asking lots of questions (this was us a month ago!!)
2) Those that are in aus and love it
3) Those that are in or have been in oz and want/have left.

The problem is you get a lot of 1's and 3's but not that many 2's!! Consequently, 3's clash with 1's who don't want to hear any of the negatives as they're just starting out.

Regardless, aside from some of the predictable comments about benefits, the weather and returning poms I think this is a really helpful and friendly place with just enough members to be an active community, but not so much that posts get lost.