How Do You Know if You've Done the Right Thing?

[Welshy]

We have lived in Adelaide now for 18 months and still have times when life is great and times when life seems low. Recently it is a low time - hubbie is working ridiculous hours at work and rarely gets home in time to share dinner with us... however we should thank our lucky stars that he is in a well paid job.

My major concern at the moment is my 8 year old daughter who wrote in her notebook last night that 2 girls in her class at school hate her and she doesnt know what to do as she feels lonely and the world is full of meanies. I was devastated and have tears in my eyes as I write this. I spoke to the prinical today who is speaking with the girls and says bullying is not tolerated at the school. What will happen I dont know, I just know that my little girl looks to me to solve her problems at school - which already is a turbulent place for her due to the high number of kids with social and learning issues, which results in lots of tempers and behaviour issues in her class.

Do I move her to another new school? Would life be any different at a different school? Would life have been better staying in the UK? Does anyone else have times like me?

[Lazy Cow]

I can't answer most of your questions, but I do know how you feel regarding your little girl; being a parent is very hard at times (IMHO) . I know I feel that I should always be able to 'make things right' but it isn't always that easy..particularly as they get older.

Two kids being mean is enough to make life utterly miserable, but if just two are being mean that probably means that the rest are still her friend? I doubt whether anyone, regardless of age, is lucky enough to be loved/liked by everyone at all times. I have watched my son and his friends fall out, be really mean to one another, play the 'you obviously aren't my friend if you are their friend' card, then before you know it they're all friends again!

I guess what I'm trying to say is; keep it in perspective, give your daughter a big cuddle and just have a chat about it. If it's bullying, then you can deal with it; if it's kids being rotten, perhaps you can give her support and some strategies so that she is able to deal with it herself as a first off. I hope it proves to be that simple, my son was bullied by some much older kids a couple of years ago and I know how painful it can be. I still worry about him now! (I also worry about my daughter, but for no good reason!)

It sounds like you could do with a hug too, so
LC

[mOZzy]

sorry to hear about your problems!!
one the bigger things we wanted from this move is our kids to be happy!!

maybe worth having a look around at other schools; not saying to move her straight away - just to keep the options open!!
and maybe a sleepover with some girls of her current class - that might boost the confidence and gives them a 'better bond'
or send her to a karate class and teach her one or two moves ;)

chin up and have another hug!!

[caoimhe]

I don't have much to add to the other posts but I really feel for you .
You daughter could have been bullied at a UK schoold and it would have been bad but it seems much worse as it is happening in a country far from home.
Is there anyone in Australia that are on PIA that have kids you daughter's age that you could both meet up with, it sounds as if you are a bit lonely too and that is very hard to cope with
Maybe you should look into other schools as well and keep your options open
Good luck to you all

[Libby1971]

Oh hun (((((((((((((((((((((((((Welshy))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))

What a horrible time for you.

I have been through this on both sides of the water. It doesn't make it any easier wherever you are, your heart still breaks for the babe in your arms whose little world is rocking.

See what the school say to you and don't let it lie. Keep an eye on her and if you aren't happy then move her. See what your daughter says but as LC says, if it is 2 girls that she mentions maybe she enough other friends to keep her company.

I have pm'ed you my number in case you want to ever weep into coffee!

Libby

[Guzzler&Sas]

hi there
can only echo others words really - but thinking of you and hope things work out.
sas
xx

[The Pottertons]

So sorry you are having a hard time, but hard times always pass and then you are able to see the good in what you have chosen to do. The better life you wanted for your family is still there but just clouded for a while. I'm sure at some point your little girl would have had the same issues in a british school and the working hours here are horrendous too. I can only imagine how hard things are at the moment but you were strong enough to move out there and get past the first year. So im pretty sure you'll ride through this too and in a few weeks will have forgotten just how terrible you feel. I 'm betting that all of us will need to post our doubts at some stage and your daughter has a great mum who cares so much she'll ask for advice and help to give her the best support she can. Big hugs to you and take care, Yvonne xx

[happy-jools]

So difficult this one. I understand what people say about it could happen in England etc etc. My little girl who turns 8 next month has a great network of friends in the Uk and loves school . This is the part that really terrifies me to be honest.

Wish you all well, and hope it works out for you all.

[likesshopping]

Hi Welshy
Sorry to hear your news about your daughter. I had a same experience with my then 8year old daughter back in the UK. I too spoke with the headmistress as bullying was not tolerated - however the girls that were bullying my daughter had completely knocked her self esteem - my daughter lost weight and really wasnt herself. I didnt wait around for the school to kick in their 'no nonsence to bullying' and moved her to another school - It was a difficult decision, as she'd been at the school since nursery.
It worked out well and my daughter made new friends and her self esteem came slowly back........she still doubts herself now and again - but shes such alot better (shes 10 now)

Its horrible having to make those decision - whether to move them or not - but the way I look at things is - kids adapt........

As a child I moved to many different schools (parents moved around alot) and from that, I learnt that you always make new friends - things always move on and usually get better.

We've been in OZ now for 7months - and we moved our daughters out of the first school they went to after 3months - and they have been fine.

When its something to do with your kids - you have to go with your instinct and heart.

Hope you find a solution and it sorts it self out.

sarahx

[zx6roo]

*big hugs* welshy

My sisters kids had the same problem when they arrived and within a couple months they moved school and were heaps better. Maybe look around see what else is about and ask her if she wants to move.

The school my daughter goes to has a buddy sytem to help new kids settle, they tend to be one in the class they go in and one 2 or 3 yrs higher to help with bigger issues. When my dad passed away last year we used this system to help her with the grieving & school mix.

It's hard and you have to ride thru the waves but you'll get there. Is her school work suffering? That's when you'll know you need to change schools. My daughter is 9 and she has the same issues but was born here. Currently one girl has had her ears peirced and tells everyone else that they are lowlifes if they haven't done it. They were best friends 3 weeks ago... today they hate each other.

With my sisters kids, they have been here.... 6yrs now and you would never know they were English. It was a bumpy few years at the start but they have setted in and love it. My neice represents the State for football and my nephew is a teenager, but I love him all the same, LOL.