People Sick

[izzy]

HI ALL WHO READS

WE HAVE BEEN IN AUS FOR A YEAR I LOVE THE COUNTRY AND ITS PEOPLE AND CAME HERE TO CHANGE MY ENGLISH SHOPAHOLIC AND EXTRAVIGANT WAYS

TO APPRICIATE A MORE ACTIVE HEALTHY LIFE . THAT I HAVE FOUND THAT AND MUCH MUCH MORE

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY FAMILY IN THE UK PARENTS TO BE EXACT HAVE BEEN SELFISH AND TOTALLY UNSUPPORTIVE THINKING OF THEMSELFS AND VOICING THE FACTTHAT THEYWERE NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE MOVE, AND CONTACT BY THEM HAS BEEN POOR , I HAVE FOUND THIS HARD TO DEAL WITH THEY HAVE SURROUNDED ME WITH GUILT.


MY SETTLING IN PERIOD HAS BEEN MUCH HARDER THAN I HAD HOPED HAVING GOOD AND SOMETIMES VERY BAD DAYS .

MY HUSBAND HAS SETTLED WELL AND SO HAS MY LITTLE GIRL . I GUESS WHAT I AM ASKING IS DOES ANYONE ELSE SUFFER FROM THIS PEOPLE SICKNESS ALMOST LIKE GREIVEING AND HAS ANYONE HAD THE SAME OR SIMILAR EXPERIENCES AND DOES IT GET BETTER AND HAS ANYONE ANY ADVICE .

DO YOU NEED A QUALITY HAIRDRESSER GIVE ME A PM

[The Monaghans]

Hi Izzy, so sorry to hear that you've had such a hard time with your family. It really can be a miserable process, I found it very hard even though I'm not especially close to my mum. Our parents took it quite hard but nobody actually tried to stop us, even though we were taking the precious grandchildren to the other side of the world. I hope it gets a little easier for you, keep smiling:)

[monicadoherty]

Hi

I have been there too. You have to be selfish and think of your family unit first and foremost. Life is for living. I find it amazing that those who miss me terribly and did not want me to go...arly stay in touch and would fly only to America as Australia is too far. It will get easier. I would go back kicking and screaming even for a holiday and would spend all of my time and money running about visiting these people. Don't feel guilty. I know its hard..deep down they are jealous you have made the move.

[Libby1971]

I think we all go through a kind of grieving process. For me, I thought that moving would make it easier to cope with the loss of my dad 2 years earlier but if anything it made it worse.

My sister and aunt used to cry down the phone about how much they missed me. It made me feel horrible but I got through it. Booking a time to go back adn tell them when they would see me again has certainly made them happier. I have no idea what it will be like when I come back again though.

For me it wasn't family but people that I thought were really good friends who haven't kept in touch. Heartbreaking...no other word for it.

Libby

[Lisado]

We have just begun our visa process and the run ins I have had with my parents seem to be on a daily basis. My brother who lives away from us all - started lecturing me yesterday on the phone. I however, am putting my wee ones first and want them to have an opportunity they would never have here. I just keep telling them that they were to move to oz when I was small and it was their parents who stopped them - so they can't do that to me. One of the reasons that keeps me thinking about moving was posted on the bottom of a thread on the site - sorry I can't remember who but it ended with " It gives them wings!" I thought that was fantastic

[dinawayneandkids]

we haven't got over yet! but my husbands family keep tellin' us they are fine with it but then ignore us when we use the A word then moan we don't keep them informed. I feel like a referee at times.
but don't let it get you down i get emotional now at the thought of not seeing my best friend every day but the people who matter will make the effort and those that don't well they are not worth the tears
as the sayin goes you can't pick you family some of us get great families and others don't
stick with it though and think of your own family unit I remind myself all the time that,that is why we are doing this love and best wishes dina

[Sharron & Andrew]

Hi,

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time, I hope it gets better soon.

We are only just into the process, both our mothers are really pleased for us and are really supportive, even though we are taking their grandchildren away. My Dad who I thought would give me grief about moving to the other side of the world, has actually suprised me by giving me his support - there is a first time for everything after all!!!
We have though we have found out through other members of the family that we are being slagged off left right and centre by Andrew's sister, who by the way we haven't seen or spoken to for the last three years.
It is upsetting and at times I do feel guilty, but I just think to myself that she is envious of the fact that we have the guts to take the life changing opportunity that we have been given, and that makes me even more determined to do the best I possibly can for my kids.

Sharron, Andrew (Bricklayer), Matty (12), Kenan (9)

[sarahsmartiepants]

I think it is farily typical behaviour when you read everyones posts there seems to be comparison there. Mine wouldnt mention the A word, right up to the weekend before we left....I think they honestly thought we wouldnt go through with it!!!
At the end of the day its yours and your families lives that should be topmost important to you stick with that and get through the best way you can!
Dont let others make you feel guilty, if they can put that kind of pressure on you then it makes them the poorer person.
If its any conselation (SP) i decided, after lots of frequent phonecalls that seemed very onesided, not to make so many, the quality of calls improved after my mum viisited and so now after 2 years most of the phonecalls are ok now, so ringing isnt a chore anymore!!
Its the friends who cried like babies when we left and dont stay in touch that makes me laugh now.
sarah

[Tina P]

MY SETTLING IN PERIOD HAS BEEN MUCH HARDER THAN I HAD HOPED HAVING GOOD AND SOMETIMES VERY BAD DAYS .

MY HUSBAND HAS SETTLED WELL AND SO HAS MY LITTLE GIRL . I GUESS WHAT I AM ASKING IS DOES ANYONE ELSE SUFFER FROM THIS PEOPLE SICKNESS ALMOST LIKE GREIVEING AND HAS ANYONE HAD THE SAME OR SIMILAR EXPERIENCES AND DOES IT GET BETTER AND HAS ANYONE ANY ADVICE .

Hi,

I suffer from it to, I ache to see my mum and dad. We chat weekly on the phone and Skype but they have made no plans to visit us in Australia.
They can afford to come over and are going on holiday on Friday, this is the 4th holiday since we left 11 months ago.
My husband has had his mum and brother visit us and he has settled ok, our daughters have no homesickness.
It is what I can only imagine greiving is like (never lost anyone close) - I am planning to go home Aug/Sept 2009 and I hope this will cure me. May have been a mistake telling them that this is what we plan to do, it may have got them over here if they did not have this date.
They are still hoping we will return to the UK.
I do know its for the long term here in Australia but its still hard to think about forever to much.

No help sorry
Tina

[alan smallman]

Hi Izzy

Sorry to hear you are a bit down and affected by the lack of encouragement and support. 10 years ago I walked out of a job which I had for 22 years (in Brum). I had no plans except that we were going to move to Boston and set up here. If I'd have listened to all the nay-sayers i would still be in Birmingham in mind-numbigly bad job with no porspects. as it was, it was the best thing we ever did. we both re-trained as nurses, the kids received a better standard of education (daughter went to a grammar school and as a result of her grades there ended up a top drama school in London where she trained as a director). boston has its problems now, as does everywhere in Uk. So it's time to move on. we are doing what's right for us and the kids (tho they're adults now). But, our point is, if we'd have listened to people telling us not to move 120 miles away, we wouldn't now be in a position to move to Oz as professionals. go with your heart and what you and your husband want, and what's gonna be best for the kids. If parents can't see that then prove em wrong. Good luck darlin- i'm sure it'll get better!!!!!!

Alan & Pauline