"Gravitating to the CBD" is a crime against yourself

[notpom]

For those who missed me, my evening sermon on how to fight evil vice and sinful temptation.

 

Many of you know that yesterday auction clearance rate in Adelaide for the first time in who knows how many years exceeded that one in Sydney. Apart from the apparent fact that Sydney appears to respect Her Majesty much more than Adelaide - this is a grim reminder that property boom in Adelaide in a full swing.

 

Any boom starts from CBD, and ripples then spread to outer suburbs. Which means - if you are looking for a bargain (remember - buying well makes 60% of the profit in Real Estate) - temptation to look close to downtown comes from the Satan.

 

For those who do not remember - I repeat - even if you buy house for yourself, it is big money, and it must be treated as an investment. Do not buy love nest, buy money making machine. Do not buy "nice house" (buildings depreciate) - buy "nice land". Land appreciates. What makes latd to appreciate - it is that it is in short supply. Unfortunately in relation to Adelaide - the only land in short supply - it is waterfront or land with waterviews (which can not be outbuilt even in theory).

 

Now to the point.Read this: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/traffic-noise-raises-obesity-risk/story-fneuzlbd-1227369680098

Living in crowded placed leads to obesity. I do not know why it is "something new". It is known for decades. Just Google "hypothalamus".

 

This is a gland size of a wallnut in your brain. Amazingly, it takes on so many functions - it is hard to imagine. First - it is the centre of emotions. Second - it rules many other things - like appetite, urination, (sorry about my French) - defecation, etc.

 

Because it is so small, if one area of it gets excited - the others will be affected as well.In other words - when an idiot with the "sports muffler" drives past your bedroom at three at the morning, you get bad emotions, and your subconscious mind leads you to the fridge. If there are tooth marks on your fridge - it means you have got extraordinary will power which allows you not to get inside it. In that case your stomach will be splashed with the hydrochloric acid - which hypothalamus commands your body to produce as a reaction to stress.

 

Same if you get out in the morning - and you see some drinking enthusiast vomited on your gate. Unless you have a hobby to explore other people's rich inner world and you start to study feeding habits of that drinking enthusiast - you get bad emotions, and subconscious would drive you straight to McDonalds. Nest of Lucifer for the people on the diet.

 

I would not even mention you can go bankrupt because the center of (sorry) defecation is also very close to the centre of bad emotions. Given the size of your mortgage - such an increase of toilet paper use can be the last straw that will break the back of your financial camel.

 

Please do not indulge in discussing of using jammed newspaper, fallen leaves or mosses for that purpose. This kind of things is not safe in CBD.

 

In the car exhaust there are hundreds of known carcinogenics.

 

That would be one thing when you survived relatives answer the question "What he (she) died from" proudly answer "Lung cancer". It is totally different if they hide under the chair with red faces.

 

Or may be I am wrong. Who is supposed to like relatives? You can start build their hard future right now.

 

Almost forgot. There is one more thing about City dwellers. Every now and then I give coloured pencils and piece of paper to my guests and ask them to draw "Their life".

 

Many years ago I stopped asking "dinkum Aussies" and "City dwellers" to do that.

 

This is because the first bunch always draws either a bottle or six pack of beer, and the second - map of the CBD, with the rectangle imposed on it - their route between work, home and couple of bars. There are also dotted lines leading outside the picture which mark their temporary frightful escapes from their dungeon (usually in direction to my Esplanade home) on weekends.

 

Boring.

Edited June 7, 2015 by notpom

[Tamara (Homes Down Under)]

I don't care what others say but I have missed you! Where have you been? Your posts are a scream and make me laugh. Honestly, I couldn't write such funny stuff.

 

Seriously....what about the reports that Adelaide property prices are stable? I am seeing that property released for sale is sold very quickly but I don't see the massive price spikes as seen in other parts of the country.

 

I know what your views are regarding views of the ocean but honestly...a new pad in the city wouldn't be that bad a thing...would be good fun if I was younger as the city is really liveable (and that's coming from someone who lives in the seaside village of Port Noarlunga!)

[Steve_H]

I love the theory that people rush out to buy a Maccas right after watching someone spew on their gate! Priceless!

[notpom]

I don't care what others say but I have missed you! Where have you been? Your posts are a scream and make me laugh. Honestly, I couldn't write such funny stuff.

 

Seriously....what about the reports that Adelaide property prices are stable? I am seeing that property released for sale is sold very quickly but I don't see the massive price spikes as seen in other parts of the country.

 

I know what your views are regarding views of the ocean but honestly...a new pad in the city wouldn't be that bad a thing...would be good fun if I was younger as the city is really liveable (and that's coming from someone who lives in the seaside village of Port Noarlunga!)

Thanks Tamara.

 

Flat prices in Adelaide? Once in my life I made a piece of bread teaching statistics. Once I came across ingenious book. Now that I am gently embraced by amnesia, I can not remember neither the title, nor the author.

 

But the core advice was - "if you can not prove your point using one statistical method, use another". This is mainly how statistic works.

 

"Independent journalism" works even in the more funny way. All media in the country belongs to couple of people. Surely it is a coincidence and nothing to do with the conspiracy. And of course every boss happily pays employees to do whatever they want - especially if it is against bosses' desires.

 

Lets see what happens if you say judge the market by "average price". Say January there were a 100 houses sold at $100K, and 10 houses at $1 million. This makes the average sale price around $181K. Then in December we get 400 houses sold at say $150K and 11` houses at $1.1 M. The average price in that case would be $172,990

 

What would media write about this year "we had very bad year in Real Estate with the prices dropping almost 5% in a year". They write what stats say. In reality you have prices increases across the board and big jump in sales volume. This is how the legends of "property downturns" are born.

 

Needless to say that the main criteria which is now used is "median price". This is the price of a house, when half of the other houses sold at the cheaper price and half of the houses were more expensive than this one. Median price is even easier to manipulate than "average price". At the beginning of the boom median price is always down because people snap the bargains first. Then it starts to cripple up - means bargains disappeared.

 

In Sydney the next stage is called "bloodbath". But Sydney have run out of land in 2003, and Adelaide is awash with available land. This is why Adelaide booms always start later, they are calm, prices go slower but steadily.

 

I have got several agents reporting that crowds of investors priced out of Sydney and Melbourne started to come to Adelaide due to better rental returns. Watch this space.

 

Besides all of that, I seem to remember we had 30-46% increases in some seaside suburbs last year (like Seacliff).

[chrisda]

I love it!

You do have a way with words mate! You make some sense and its funny too.

[Tamara (Homes Down Under)]

Would you agree?

 

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/realestate/news/now-is-the-time-to-sell-your-property-in-adelaide-with-plenty-of-buyers-and-fewer-listings/story-fni0ci8n-1227395341350

[notpom]

Would you agree?

 

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/realestate/news/now-is-the-time-to-sell-your-property-in-adelaide-with-plenty-of-buyers-and-fewer-listings/story-fni0ci8n-1227395341350

 

"Good time to sell the property" is an expression of the same kind as "Good time to sell your soul to the Satan" or "Good time to sell your kids for transplants".

 

Hard to understand. If someone decides to sin, why to get indulged into sins that would harm you? Sinning when adultery is not the first item on your sin list is boring and unpleasant.

 

Selling real estate can be understood only in the limited number of cases - like you have become aware that the park across the road will become the cemetery next month, or Council approved public toilet at your front door, or (God forbid) you fallen ill and you need money to save your life.

 

In all other cases - what is the point of selling? For the last 150 years, average capital growth in Australia is 8% - means property doubles in price every 11 years. With just one working brain cell it is not hard to find the property that grows 10% pa.

 

Rent grows about 4% a year, which means it doubles every 13 years.

 

Last month I had a house valued at $650K. It is in Sydney, and it was bank valuation, so today if I sell it - it would harvest $700K min.

 

What is remarkable about that house - is that when I bought it, and I ripped carpets off, and there was an old lino under the carpet. Under the lino there was a layer of 1971 newspapers, then there was a layer of even older lino, and there was a layer of 1963 newspapers. About 10 kilos. Real estate section was very interesting. Depending on the area, in 1963 brand new house in Sydney was worth between $7000 and $9000.

 

Now imagine. You bought the house back then for $7K, and all this time were refinancing your loan interest only - i.e. you have not paid a cent of the principal of the loan. Say average rate 7%, so you still pay $490 a year in interest. It is slightly less than weekly rent I collect from that house.

 

People who sold this house for $7K in fact sold a dollar (of today's money) for 1c (of 1963 money). Would you sell a dollar for a cent (provided you are in the right mind)?

 

Insanity does not end there. Every now and then I rent out to old couples. Most of them never bought a home. I do not ask why. Answer is always the same. "Property was too expensive". This is when they still have live brain cells. If they don't, they add "This bubble will burst sooner or later".

 

Yep, my dears. $600 a week rent is $31,200 of rent per year. For what you pay now every year to me (bloody bloodsucker landlord) you could have bought 4 houses and a block of land when you were young.

 

No wonder I love you.