stay or go

[Donna Smith]

can any one give me one good reason to stay in this country!! we came out here for a better life which i have yet to see, this being our 3rd year here. My self and my 3 yr old have had nothing but ill health since being here. Every thing is so much more expensive here.You have to renew your car licence, whats that all about!!!! It just seems that all we are ever doing here is paying out to live a life which we could have back in England for free!!! I know the weathers better but is that all???? I actually find life quite boring here. Nothing for the kids to do. I wish my husband could see it from the same way i do instead of through rose coloured specs.

[nickyblue]

Hi Donna

I could give you 50+ but they would not be 'your' reasons to stay! I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't find your own reasons for staying and enoying life here you will find it tough! It's hard esp when you have not been well, I've just had 6 months of really bad health and I know how it can get you down (distance/ support/ familiarity with the system!). If you really feel like there is nothing for you here you will need to speak to your hubby - talk through how you see it here! You both have to see a life and future in oz if it's going to work. 3 people cant live on one persons dream!

Is there anything that would make it better? Making more firends? Having more time to yourself? Being able to make Adelaide "your" home with things you like to do? Maybe if you can identify some areas that you can work on fixing and fix them you might have your own reasons for staying.

Try and stay strong.

All the best
Nic
xx

[guest3462]

Hi Donna,
I'm afraid I can't give a good reason that would send me back to the UK!!! I came here 8 months ago, full of hate for Britain and with all my eggs in one basket hoping that it would give me and my family the life we craved and deserved and it has far exceeded our greatest expectations!
We are all happier, healthier and see each other much more. The children love being outdoors and we have made the best friends anyone could ever wish to meet. My hubby has the most amazing job that he would never get to try in the UK and i'm getting to be mummy to my girls instead of needing to pay for childcare and seeing them 2 days a week.
I agree that the cost of living is more than the UK (I can't even bring myself to call it home anymore) but I believe that the extra cost counts for little whern they quality of life you are experiencing is so great. But as for being boring, we have a beach 5 mins walk away which we visit almost every day for walks, games, swimming etc, there are countless parks with well kept facilities for the kids and we seem to struggle to find a weekend to ourselves sometimes!

It's sad that you aren't having the experience you hoped it would be and I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do, but for me I cannot see myself ever wanting to leave, I truly feel that we are home.

Sorry to disagree, but I wish you well in your future
JC xxx

can any one give me one good reason to stay in this country!! we came out here for a better life which i have yet to see, this being our 3rd year here. My self and my 3 yr old have had nothing but ill health since being here. Every thing is so much more expensive here.You have to renew your car licence, whats that all about!!!! It just seems that all we are ever doing here is paying out to live a life which we could have back in England for free!!! I know the weathers better but is that all???? I actually find life quite boring here. Nothing for the kids to do. I wish my husband could see it from the same way i do instead of through rose coloured specs.

[jomark]

hi ive heard alot of people complain about nothing to do for the kids.we have a 6 year old weve been here almost 4 years and he enjoys it,auskick,surf life saving, the parks and the beach.could you please tell what it is you want for the kids to do.i dont mean to offend just wandering.cheers mark.

[jim and adel]

Hmm, tough one. If my day-to-day experience of being here resembled what you've described, I'd be off like a shot. Given that your husband seems to be having a more positve experience, I wonder what's different? Is it jobs? Does he have interests that he can participate in that you don't? Do you just have different likes and dislikes?

One of the difficulties when two people have different views is that they're both likely to regard their version of reality as the accurate one and the other view as therefore inaccurate and either too kind ('rose coloured specs') or too damning (the 'hate it' camp), and this labelling can get in the way of objectivity.

Regardless of whether he's the one wearing the glasses or if it's actually you who's sporting a rather dark pair of Ray Bans, three years seems long enough to me for you to know if it's working for you or not and, by the sound of it, it isn't.

Back to your original question, I'm not sure anyone could give you the one good reason to stay in this country that you're looking for if you really don't want to be here, find it boring and think there's nothing for kids to do. Sounds to me like you know where you want to be, and it isn't here!

Good luck

Jim

[Django]

I'm with Jim. Those that love it here, like me, could give you heaps of reasons too stay and more not to return to the UK. Those that want to return or have returned could do the same in reverse. Who is right????? The answer is no one.
You have to do what is right for you. If Oz was great for everyone then the UK would be empty and again vice versa.
As for cost of living we don't find it anymore expensive living here than in the UK but again we won't be spending our money on the same things as you. As for things to do, the only thing my kids had to look forward to was hanging around the streets getting into trouble. Here they are involved in clubs and sport and we as a family have more time together.

If you really don't like it here and your hubby loves it then you need to sit down and have a serious talk. I would say think of why you left the UK in the first place. Its only a decission YOU can make.

Good luck

Pete

[mayjess]

What Jim has said is spot on, its all in the way that you are viewing your life, if you only want to see the negatives thats what you will see, I know I was the same, you will come back the UK & then see what you had & prob regret moving back here, so why not explore the ways in which you can make your life more fullfilling now, if you think its all cheery here at the moment think again, were getting negative news rammed down our throats daily, papers, TV and radio theres no escaping it, eventually it bogs you down, no wonder most ppl are walking around with frowns on their faces. My best advice is maybe come back for a visit & see for your self which place is best to live in.

Personally I cannot wait to get back to the peace & tranquility in adelaide, I miss the space & freedom to walk on uncrowded beaches and quiet parks.

Good luck in what you decide to do

Mayjess

[Martin and Val]

Sorry I'm not going to be of much use to you here as we find the cost of living here cheaper and find lots more to do.

Yes once you are here and you have work and a place to live it's the same as the UK. You get up in the morning you go to work, you come home and have tea then bed. You still have to do the weekly shop, mow the lawn (But only in winter) and all the other mundane things you did back in blighty. But when your off work there is so much more to do in our opinion.

Do you have a good circle of friend for days out, have a BBQ and invite the neighbors, walk along the beach and smell the fresh air. Many of these things are free and good for you.

My advice is don't jump you may well regret it, go for a holiday to refresh your memory why you left in the first place.

Good luck with what ever you decide as only you can make that final decision.

Martin

[Diane]

If you're really that unhappy, then it's probably best to head back to the UK - for a holiday at least. If for whatever reason that's not possible (money, health, whatever) then you probably have to work on the basis of "what can't be cured, must be endured" and make a conscious effort to force yourself to start looking for positives here. When I've had down days, I found going for a walk through the park, looking around me at the beautiful birds, stunning gum trees, spotting a koala or two, made me think I was being daft not appreciating stuff that others would give their right arm to see/experience. Probably a walk along the beach, dolphin spotting might help, or a day spent visiting a few wineries with your OH, whatever works for you.

Probably the worst thing is to meet up with other expats who are feeling a bit down too - as that will just drag you further down, and anyone that's unfailingly positive will probably just irritate you, so put the babe in their buggy, head off to Belair Park or somewhere, or one of the play areas (not sure where you're located but the fort at Noarlunga is supposed to be nice), or Henley Beach, or Linear Park, and force yourself to find at least three things to enjoy! Can tell you I've done this with tears streaming down my face, but it works in the end!

Diane

[covfan71]

Hi, everytime i see a post fro someone who wants to go home it really worries me. Myself and my family are moving to Adelaide next summer and sometimes i wonder if we are making a mistake.
Donna, you mention the cost of living is more and that there is nothing to do for the kids, and yet others say quite the opposite. May i ask where you live? Is it down to the area you live?
We intend to make it work where possible and that means we will make an effort to get involved in meet ups etc to make new friends. We will make an effort to go out and find things for the kids to do. If after that we still haven't settled then we will have to re-think. I'm not for one saying you haven't made an effort. After 3 years i'm sure you have made plenty of friends. It's just so weirs to hear all the different views from people who have the same family life and live in the same area. What is one doing that the other is not?