14.5 years in Australia and homesick - Aussie husband & kids!

**Minerbird** · 16-01-2012, 10:34 AM

Hi all,

I've been a long-time lurker here but I think this is my first post. Here goes....could be long

I've lived in Australia for 14.5 years, the last 3.5 here in Adelaide (VIC before that). I met my husband here after only 5 weeks. We have 3 kids who were all born here. I've been back to the UK 5 times since I left - the most recent for 5 weeks over Christmas - just got back last Wednesday.

I've never had any desire to return to the UK to live and in fact have considered myself to be far more Aussie than British! That is, until this last trip. We all had an absolute blast and covered a heck of a lot of the country. For the first time I felt that I really did not want to leave; I cried in the taxi on the way to the airport, I cried in the airport, and I cried in the taxi as we drove home in Adelaide. 5 days later and I'm still crying!!

The thing is, everyone in the family feels the same way. Hubby is keen to live there and so are all 3 kids (ages 12, 11 and 9). Only problem is that everything comes down to money with my hubby - and our earning power is greater here than in the UK.

To throw a spanner in the works, 3 weeks before we went on holiday, hubby's boss asked him if he would be interested in taking the managers' job in Aberdeen. We said that yes, we were very interested. But the company is notoriously slow and we have our doubts it would actually come off in the end.

Put simply, I now can't bear the thought of NOT going back. I'm sure hubby and the kids will get over it and be just fine, but I'm not sure I can

. Any ideas how to "get over it"?
Cheers folks

**thebacons** · 16-01-2012, 11:14 AM

As some one who has just got here im not sure i can answer your question but from just leaving the Uk its not a great place to be at the moment. The economy is shot and will not fix itself soon and being a part of the EU has its downfalls with unskilled migration.

I do sometimes wonder though if us migraters are just a different breed. Always looking to spread out our wings and try somthing new. will we ever be happy ? make me think !!!!!

I know oz is what im looking for but in 10 years will i/we be looking for something more. I guess it makes life less more ordinary.

Hope you find your answers and good luck.

Chris.

**IrishStew** · 16-01-2012, 01:00 PM

Hi Guys

Follow these links and you might get over it.

http://www.businessweek.com/news/201...s-economy.html
http://www.businessweek.com/news/201...-forecast.html
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/...8CC2OU20120112
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011...of-life-europe
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ve-Europe.html

I know with your Kids you might feel you need to move sooner rather than later, but in light of the general climate in the UK, you might want to rethink. Having said that your dollar is worth more now than ever.

Regards
IrishStew

**zidden** · 16-01-2012, 03:21 PM

What you have to remember is that you were in the UK on holiday. No matter where you are in the world it is different when on holiday. The realms of working the 9-5, hitting traffic, getting kids ready for school, school run etc... is probably not experienced when over at Christmas. Also it was a holiday period and generally friends/relatives are off work, once the daily grind resumes it will be back to the norm.

Alternatively nothing lasts forever and maybe it is just time to return to the UK. However many of the posts and links do comment on the state of the economy. Something that will unfortunately be a burden here in the UK for a few years more at least.

**Misplaced** · 16-01-2012, 05:49 PM

My mum and dad returned to the UK after 13 years living in Oz. they had come back over for my granddads funeral and mum stayed on a bit longer than dad - 3 years later we were back in the UK!!

I know my dad regretted coming back and mum always said she did the right thing but I was never too convinced when she said that - more so of not losing face with dad I think. For me it was a big adventure met my wife have 2 kids but now it's time to move back home for me and rediscover and for my family to discover what Australia has to offer.

If your husbands company is willing to sort the move out etc. I don't see the harm in coming back as he will have a job and that isn't what over 2 million have in the UK and it will probably hit 3 million in the last 6 months of this year!! If it turns out that you don't like it, will your husbands company relocate him back to Oz.

Personally, I wouldn't move back to the UK at the moment there is just so much uncertainty, debt and joblessness. I know things aren't all roses in Oz but at the moment it has far more going for it than the UK.

I don't think I have helped you with your feelings of being homesick but hopefully i have helped in some other way.

Best of luck,

Mis

**Squareman** · 16-01-2012, 08:59 PM

I respect your opinions and your lives are yours to live but I simply cannot get my head around why someone would want to leave Australia for Aberdeen! It boggles my mind.

**PaulandVicky** · 16-01-2012, 09:18 PM

I think two weeks in Aberdeen. Looking at the Adelaide weather forecast would get me over it........

**Mini2005** · 16-01-2012, 09:49 PM

I don't have any magic answer on how to "get over it" because I've been in your position. Just give yourself time to make the decision and weigh everything up including all the "what ifs". You may find that those feelings dwindle away but at least you will be as sure as anyone can be when making the decision. Everyone seems to get a little hung up on the weather but that means nothing in the scheme of things. If your family is happy in a place, it makes no difference whether its sunny or raining. The UK is a great place but it has its problems which may or may not affect you directly. I have been very lucky and work in a specialist company that has just had its best year yet. I think an awful lot depends on your area of work and if you can research the specific situation that would help you decide what to do. Whatever your decision, take some time and good luck

**JimandBarbinAus** · 16-01-2012, 09:59 PM

I think the way you are feeling maybe because youve had a lovely 5 week holiday. Life is different on holiday and lets face it we all feel good on holiday!!! The situation in the uk isnt great especially for younger generations, there is a recession, jobs are few and far between and the daily grind is quite grim during winter. See how you feel in a few months after youve settled back in then make plans .... :)x

**ladyarkles** · 16-01-2012, 10:10 PM

It might help if you really could break down what it is that you actually miss.......
If it is people (family or friends) then you are having a perfectly normal reaction to leaving them at the end of a trip.
You will get over that heartache; you have managed to cope with it for a long time already.

Is it the place that you miss?
In which case, think of it like meeting up with an ex-boyfriend; you felt leaving him was the best thing all those years ago but now you have seen him again you fancy another go round. What will be different? Not much. If anything all those things that you were dissatisfied with 14 years ago have got a little more pronounced.

Your recent trip back was like a holiday romance, beautiful, bitter-sweet and short lived.

As someone who has not long arrived in Oz, I have to tell you that life here is of a much, much better quality.
I lived in Asia for many years and had to go back to Blighty in 2010; it had pretty much changed beyond all recognition.
They will have to drag me back there kicking and screaming.

I hope that you start feeling a little less upset; it must be very difficult for you and those around you to cope with.
In the long run, you have to follow your heart - but don't ignore your head completely.

~ Rachel