We've been here nearly 2 years now and I'm sure I'm repeating posts that other people have said but I would have to say you have to give it longer. This time of year is difficult and talking to other migrants their first winter does make them question moving over here more. The weather isn't great but when the sun shines I try and make the most of it.
I would say that you have to give it longer over here at least a year before deciding. I know someone who has just gone back after 6 years in Australia, they sold their house over here and only lasted in the UK 3 months and they are back already. Enjoy the spring and summer, make your own choices which are best for you and your own family and don't listen to the frenemies.
I have to say we all felt like this after 6 months, kids weren't happy....I was working longer hours than I did in England, Mark was studying at TAFE to get his skills recognised......it was HARD......added to that we were trying to meet people, make friends, etc, etc.
RE: education - both boys stayed in the same year group that they had just completed in England, for our youngest that meant an extra 18 months at Primary school and for Zack he was back at the beginning of High School......has it affected them? Yes, but for the best, they were really using the first 6 months to settle, and with no detriment to their education as they were 6 months ahead when they got here due to difference of the school years. At the 6 month mark we made a pact as a family to give it at least 2 years. Just passed the 2 year mark now and life is sooooo very different. I only work 4 days a week, Mark finished TAFE and loves his job. Both boys settled and love their schools and have made fantastic friends.
You have to do what is right for you and your family but I guess what Im trying to say is what you are feeling is 'normal' given the short time you have been here.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
PS - Does your little one attend Kindy at all? That may help???
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First of all, the opinions of others only affect you if you actually give a flying flump what they think.
You are living your life, not them.
Don't measure your success or failure by others' reactions; you know that you are doing your best.
Sod the rest of them.
What you are going through is perfectly normal, I think most of us have had the collywobbles at one time or another.
I would echo what others are saying though, stick it out until summer. Crikey, it has cost you a fortune to get here, at least have one beautiful summer out of it.
I have grown-up kids (back in the UK) so I can't really comment on the school situation, but once children manage to find a special friend (or group of friends) things do improve for them.
I suppose it is just a matter of finding the right environment to help them do that.
Hubby will eventually reach the end of his training and so that will be one less stress on you all.
Hopefully, once the weather starts improving, your daughter settles in at school and the little one gets into a scheme/group you may feel a bit better.
No-one's life is ruined, don't even start thinking like that.
There is nothing like a dollop of guilt to make your head spin. I know this very well myself.
My advice is, don't be so hard on yourself, sometimes things take a little while to feel right.
Ignore the people that have nothing positive to offer you - they are dead weight that you don't need.
If you do go back to the UK, it's OK; at least you dared to have a go.
Be proud of that fact - you did it, you took that ride.
I really hope that you find a little bit of space to work things out without too much input from people who have no idea what you are going through.
Best of luck.
The fact that you had the balls to move to the other side of the world tells the world you're a strong and secure character who's willing to try things to ensure their families success.
The fact you're thinking of going back says the same thing. It would be easier in many ways to just stay and be unhappy and that's not what anyone wants.
Have you thought about a new start in the UK? Why not move somewhere new?
I obviously don't know you, so can only share my experience....
It took me a year before I felt OK in Adelaide, I remember crying alot in that first year.
This is a hugely stressful life event not to be underestimated.
Hang in there and good luck whatever you decide to do.
No one said it would be easy but Mamma didn't raise no quitter.
Its probably the weather at the moment that's makes think of england the cold dark wet mornings and nights.
To be honest I think the school system is more relaxed here and I dont think that's such a bad thing.
My daughter has come out of her shell here and loves the fact that P.E and sport play a big part in the curriculum, although I do admit she finds the school work fairly easy but they are 6 months in front if arriving from the UK.
Personally I am not over worried as there seemed to be massive emphasis on getting children to meet the ofsted target mark in th UK than really developing other skills i.e social skills which are clearly lacking in the UK
I know everyone is different and will miss various things, I'm sure things will be easier given time or I hope so.
Hope things work out as I know from previous posts just how much you wanted to be here.
Good luck Trev.
I feel exactly the same as you, we have been here since 1st March 2012 and things are really tough. My husband is aswell a plumber, he is the same working all day then college at night. This was for four nights a week but has now been cut down to three. He had his own business in the uk and has now got a job for a family firm but the money is no where near what he's used to. I dont work as I dont see the point of working just to pay for childcare. My children are 10, 8 and 3. The two older ones have settled really well although they are missing family and friends. My youngest has taken a while to get her confidence back, with all the rule changes over here regarding intake into school, she wont go to school untill she is nearly six. I too am so worried about the time she is missing. In the uk she would be going to a nursery every morning which prepares them for school. I feel so alone sometimes and dont want to keep moaning about things as this is supposed to be a fresh new start in a fantastic country. I know in my heart that if we went back all the things that we moved from would start to bug us again and we would be back to square one.
If ever you want to meet up let me know I am only in Old Reynella.
Sorry to hear you feel the same as Sharon.
Originally Posted by Marge
Your youngest will start kindy when they are 4 so should help xx
If you are on a permanent Visa you want to do the maths or math as they say here re childcare - you'll be shocked as to how much help you get for childcare. In the UK my Wife was in the position you describe but here it is really different. If you are on a temporary Visa I'll shut up.
Easy for me to say but you definitely need to give it more time, I would agree with 2 years, thats our plan, theres no way of knowing after 6 months.
We leave for Adelaide in 5 weeks, we have a 13 year old son, I am now sitting in an empty house with nothing to do until 21st August, we are leaving a great life here in the UK, friends, family, work...etc..but want to give oz a go, so no matter how hard it turns out I will keep my head down stay positive and make it work, then at least if I decide to come home after 2 years I know I have tried my best, although I will have still have had the adventure. Sorry to sound harsh but did you think it was going to be that easy? you have obviously managed to get this far so why not think positive again and make things work just like when you first decided to make the move?...anyway what do I know... :) all I can say is you have worked so hard to get where you are today so why give up after 6 months :) I would start reading the more positive posts on here, I believe if you surround yourself with positive people etc you will succeed, all you are missing here in the UK apart from your F&F is rain, floods, unemployment, bent politicians and banks.... - good luck.