Always seems strange to me that when someone wants to leave the country they are originally from, their journey gets labels like 'adventure', an 'experience', a 'lifestyle change' etc, but when someone thinks about leaving a country they are currently in (but not where they are originally from) it often gets talked about as 'quitting'. We don't apply this sort of talk about them migrating from their original country, so why with their present place? If a move doesn't work, then either decide to stick it out and hope for the best or move on again (either back or elsewhere). The same positive words apply as they did with the first move; there's no 'quitting' involved, no need for guilt, no requirement to either justify the actions to anyone else or to serve some arbitrary time period before making the decision - it isn't a prison sentence.
Must admit Jim that we did use those terms regarding our move - and still do.
Originally Posted by jim and adel
We really did want to change our lives.
We could just see ourselves in the same rut for the rest of our lives in the UK.
I suppose it's a question of perception really.
Not sure I'm reading you right with this, Tyke, so just to clarify: when you were moving from the UK you regarded yourselves as quitters for making the move elsewhere?
Originally Posted by Tyke
Originally Posted by jim and adel
Sorry Jim, I am still struggling with a bout of man flu.
We were looking forward and not back really. Not quitting but going forward.
I agree with Katangel - kids pick up on their parents' feelings. At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you but just ask yourself; how long does my OH have to go to college? Months? Would I be happy with Aus if I found a job? If you can answer yes to those questions, I reckon you can hang in there. I'm not gonna give it all the positive thinking bull but what I can tell you is that every day, whether I feel like it or not, it's my job to be helpful, charming and cheerful. Even when I feel like crap, I pick up the phone or go and visit a customer and on goes the mask of happiness and, do you know what, by pretending to be happy, I actually feel less sad. By acting like I have the answers, somehow I start feeling less clueless. So, if you've any reserves of strength left, why not try to fake it 'til you make it? Yes, you are the best person for the job, no you don't feel defeated, yes, the kids will adjust, no, you haven't made a massive mistake. I'm really rooting for you, I reckon you can make it work, just keep pushing x
On a practical note; are you on linkedin? It's amazing how many recruiters are on there, as well as people in your industry, who might take an interest in your skills. You can upload your CV, just like on Monster, which you also need to register with, if you're not already on. Apologies if you've done this already but by all means, tell me so and I'll see if I can think up a fresh approach.
You all sound thoroughly miserable, Sharon and my advice to you would be to cut your losses and go home. I don't say that very often, but I'm concerned about your children. We came here with our 3 sons, 13 years ago and one was considerably less enthusiastic than the rest of us, despite our portraying it as a big adventure. He's 18 now and I still worry about him constantly. We returned for a visit last year and every single one of them wondered why on earth we had ever left. One even said we had deprived him of extended family! They had promised to visit! Can we be blamed for broken promises???????? You might get some "I told you so's" for a while but speaking from experience, I would rather have gone back and had happy children than have the resentment there is towards me now! The tragedy is, my husband probably wouldn't get a job in the UK now and our sons are strangers to their own relatives.
We came back to the U.K in March because of the exchange rate. As pensioners we only have a limited income not being wage earners. Must say we miss our grandkids and the sun, as since we have been back its rained most of the time. We're going to have to be ping pong poms as there are lots of things we love about the U.K, but equally there are lots of things we love about Adelaide. However if you can't settle and think you'd feel better back here, go for it. Don't waste your life feeling unhappy, go where your heart tells you to go.
Six months isn't very long to get used to a new place and you shouldn't beat yourself up over feeling unsettled. I wonder if it might help if some of your family came out for a visit? If they can manage a trip, it would give you something to look forward to and you might not feel their absence quite so much.
It might also help if you set yourself a goal to 'give it 1 year' and see how you feel after that - you were seemingly enjoying the new life to begin with so you may find you return to that space in a little more time.
The other comments re kindy and play groups are obviously very useful ...... there may be PIA folk who do who would welcome a regular meet up.
I'm sorry to hear that your husband's job/training regime is so arduous .... and am loathe to suggest you do training too but there are lots of free courses available at the moment (see http://www.skills.sa.gov.au/) and it might help you get your own skills recognised AND meet more people.
Ignore the unhelpful - and to my mind, unkind - comments from those jealous people on FB who appear to enjoy the unhappiness of others.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do