Just told my parents

[Guest wayney34]

I have just done the worst thing in my whole life and told my parents we're leaving for Adelaide at The end of August. They had a feeling I was going to move but they had no idea that it would be that far. Since then I have felt terrible Iv'e got the biggest red eyes from non stop crying and feel so guilty because i'll be taking there only 3 grandchildren who they absolutely adore so much and they see nearly everyday.My mum says iv'e broke her heart and shes losing her best friend I just feel so bad and don't think I realised until now just how much I will miss them I tried to explain that there is just no future for us here as work is terrible house prices far to high and no prospects for my kids as they get older and think Adelaide might have more to offer ( I just hope we're right). Sorry to go on but I needed to let it out as most of you will understand how i'm feeling Its also worse as I have no close friends where I live and so have done a lot of things with my Mum and am going to miss her so much.

[Guest Mrs Bon Jovi]

Oh chick, big hugs coming your way xx

lit is all very fresh at the moment and raw and there is bound to be lots of tears and upset, it's the same when it comes to the final goodbyes, they are horrible at the time, but things will get better with time. You know why you are doing this, and deep down your mum will want what is best for her grandchildren in the long run, it is just the shock of it all. Will they come out to visit? I think that helps too, when they can actually see for themselves what kind of life you can have here.

 

Take care hun xxx

[Guest lyn]

Well done for breaking the news to your family. One of the most stressful parts! It does get easier with time, in my experience. Some of our family found it very difficult at first but they came round as time went on and they're now all making plans to come out in the next 12 months. As Wendy says, visits from the family does make it easier for all and if you've got some tentative plans in place for their visits before you leave then that makes the goodbyes a bit easier, too.

 

 

Good luck - it IS worth all the stress!

 

Lyn x

[keldaz]

Hi, saying goodbye to loved ones is the hardest part of the whole journey. As a parent yourself you have to look to the future, which means doing the best for your 3 kids. Mum has to understand that she has lived her life in a different time frame, and that a secure future is far more difficult to achieve in the UK now.

Make sure you get skype sorted out for everyone before you leave, with webcams, if they can chat to you and physically see you are all ok, it makes a huge difference. Just remember, its not all your fault, you just want the best for your family. The distance of Australia doesn't help, but its only a plane flight. Hope Mum comes round to the idea, All the Best x.

[The Monaghans]

It was exactly the same for me, I'm an only child and my mum is widowed. I took her only grandchildren to the other side of the world and broke her heart and to be honest, the guilt will stay with me forever. Mum found it extremely difficult at first but now she knows that we did the right thing and that we had to put our kids first. We talk on skype every Sunday and she came to see us about a year after we got here which was lovely. Your mum will come round but she needs time to "grieve" first. Stay strong and good luck.

[jtct]

You are all so right - its hard at first but parents do want what is best for you and your family however hard they take the news (we were the parents left behind so know how it feels too from the other side). They need time to get over the shock, 'grieve' and come to terms with your descision. I can say from personal experience if they can come for a holiday it makes a huge difference.

 

Guilt is natural and inevitable but try not to let it get the upper hand - you must put YOUR family's future first now. Most parents will understand that so try to involve them in your plans as much as possible and make sure they know how to access Skype and encourage them to plan their first holiday to see you in your new home once you are settled in Adelaide.

[Guest leeannekays]

Hi Wayney, I had exactly the same, my mum was devastated, she wouldn't talk to be about it. Then suddenly she slowly started asking questions ad talked about it. We leave tonight and this past week she has cried so much, but she oes say that she understands we got to go and it's a good life but she said it's ripping her heart out. She has booked her flights for January as she said it helps her deal with us going to know she's definatley coming out. Today is going to be very upsetting but I have not once thought I don't want to go. It's the right move for me and my family. Something inside pushes you to do it.

 

Take care. Leeanne xx

[Guest beckeithking]

Oh lord..... you sound like you are in for a rough ride. I hope they come round and realise it is best option for you to try. We are yet to break the news to my OH's parents. They will be devastated. It is going home for me after 12 years away. His Mum refuses to discuss Australia or any future and told me we cant go anywhere until she is dead! - I am hoping said when upset....

I am sure she will be upset but hope she will realise it is the next step for us and I need to be near my family for a bit.

It isn't easy leaving family, friends and your whole life - I know. But you all need to make efforts to keep in touch and keep that feeling going.

 

I have been asked why we do this to ourselves....... the only thing I can say is it is what is best for ME at that time. There is nothing to say I cannot change my mind later.

 

Good luck.

Bec x

[Guest Messua]

We did the same thing 13 years ago. My parents were unnervingly calm about it, but they did have another daughter, her family and a son who was still a teenager. At the time, they said they would come out and visit every other year, but they have only been once. It has resulted in our eldest son telling us he feels deprived of his extended family, after we visited last year (at enormous cost, as we had to pay for accomodation).

 

We found England surprisingly cheap on our return, whereas when we left, we were struggling to make ends meet. When we came out here, there was no GTS (=VAT) and we recovered well financially, even with only one of us working. We bought a house for a great price and were mortgage-free after 7 years. However, things have changed here. Since GST was introduced prices have shot up and although we manage, we certainly don't save. Our three sons have all talked about returning to the UK at some point in the last 12 months and if they do choose to go back once their educations are complete, I find myself asking why on earth we would stay.

 

Think carefully before you make your move. You have parents who, obviously, adore and support your family, friends who won't be at the end of a phone whenever you feel like a natter and to be brutally honest, the education system here is in a bad way, as to quote a gentleman I once met, "the Aussies always copy the Poms", so opportunities for your children might not be as plentiful as you might think.

[Guest Purple]

Ah bless you, it's a horrible thing to do. ( We're only here on a temporary 457 visa so I haven't told my folks that it's hopefully a permanent move. I'll definitely say get skype sorted. My mum really struggled as we haven't had broadband for 6 weeks- but we got it sorted now and she was over the moon to 'see' me properly.