Mums with young children

[Guest MR&MRSC]

ARRANGE A MEET-UP

 

Forgive me for being so bold. I am not even there yet, nor are my children in with me all day, only the youngest of the three rugrats is with me half a day.

 

Just a suggestion (advice from a past health visitor) -

 

I moved down the South of England when my eldest two were very young, no money (more expensive than up north!), no friends, couldn't even say hello and have a chat in the street. Hubby out all day and any self esteem I just disappeared (it does pass, promise).

 

1. Put a note in the local supermarket with your telephone contact number on and the area you live in, not your address. Ask for mums of young children to come and join you for a coffee morning. State a time - 09.30 till 11.30ish (two hours is long enough).

 

2. State groups will need to be organised into 5 mums with their children, and its an informal coffee, buiscuits and chat. Meet once a week, and rotate each between houses. Never leave a meeting without making the following weeks arrangements.

 

3. Jokingly state that no snobbery is allowed, status does not matter and laughing as well as "fed-up' moans is allowed.

 

4. If too many quiries come in, arrange into areas, and/or childrens age. Do not leave anyone out, even if they are a 'know it all', it could just be nerves (failing that put a couple of laxatives in their coffe, the sheer shame will keep them away next time!).

 

5. Do not give up when let down, keep going and going until it pays off.

 

AN ALTERNATIVE

 

At least three of you (needed in case of illness), visit local church halls, schools, leisure centres and start a mums and tots group. I am sure when you explain to the vicor, priest, manager, head teacher etc... what it is you are trying to do they will help if they can provide the room. Don't forget a tea and coffee, juice and toast and/or biscuits kitty, usually done mid session.

 

They may be able to help collect second hand toys, charity shops are always good too.

 

You could ask the local midwife for help.

 

Someone has to start somewhere, you must all be feeling it. I felt it in my own country when the children were stuck in with me all day, goodness knows how you are all feeling.

 

Please do not think me confident, I am quite the opposite - I just happen to know that stuck in feeling when being away from home is like, being away from what is familiar and when things get tough - ga ga language, repeated baby talk, battles and tantrums is a slow form of torture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

No not one of my children were planned......

 

Give it a go and good luck.

 

Best wishes

[sue2oz]

great post mrsc you are totally right you have to put yourself out there, friends dont come while you sit and wait for them.It is so hard when you first get here the word i would decribe it is ALIEN well thats how i felt at first. You do have to push yourself and even when you invite 1 mum to have a gab its a great achievment and nice to know you have made a friend.

i make a nice cuppa(well i will when i get me kettle on wednseday) if anyone would like a gab, moan, laugh etc

 

sue xxx

[Guest thebaddeleys]

Great post, I know I need to make an effort to make some friends as I can feel the loneliness creeping up on me! If anyone knows of a good playgroup that happens in the afternoon near Glenelg then I'd love to go with someone?

 

Thanks,

 

Kerry x

[Guest xhaylesx]

Great post! Dont forget we also have the playgroup at the old cottage, Happy Valley 11am on a Tuesday. THIS has saved my life!

[Guest Bakers]

Thats was a great post having similar feelings myself & really need to get out there but it's finding the confidence (something i never had problem with before) once my elder 2 go back to school Tuesday it will be just me & my little man & i can feel the lonliness creeping in already,so if anyone fancys a cuppa my doors always open im in Seaford Rise & im completely sane most of the time honest:goofy: