Struggling to settle in

[Guest londongirl]

Hi - arrived 3 weeks ago and am really struggling with settling in. Have got temporary accommodation, and have almost bought a car (difficult to do here when you don't have a car already), and am now about to get my teenager into a school. We were out here last year for a few months and went back to the UK because it was so hard to make things work, and now I'm having a second go.

 

Am finding everything an uphill struggle again, and worried about money because everything is even more expensive than last time! I'm feeling REALLY homesick nearly all of the time, and wondering if I have made a terrible mistake (again!).

 

Any other newbies or nearly newbies out there feeling the same way? Or oldies who went through this in the beginning.

 

Would also love to hear from anyone who migrated or settled as a single parent.

[Guest woolmerdj]

hi we moved from london 3 years ago, found it really hard, leaving our families behind , we were put into government accomodation for the first 6 weeks untill we found a rental near to our daughters school , it takes time i would never want to be back where we were 3 years ago ,but i can assure you , it will get better, where are you maybe you could meet up with my wife we also have a 15 yr old daughter, all the very best.

 

david,jane,oliver and elizabeth

[snifter]

Awww sorry to hear you are struggling a bit atm.

 

Keep an eye out for the get togethers arranged through here and also hopefully you can meet up with other parents/Mums for a coffee and so on and make a few friends.

 

I think those early months are always tough. Keep checking back here though as I am sure you'll meet a few people via the forum and once you find your feet it'll take the pressure off.

 

I know I am still the UK side but if you ever just want to chat about stuff, feel free to drop me a PM. I lived many years overseas and know the struggles as well as the happy times.

[arleneloveskapunda]

Hey Londongirl. I do feel your pain. been here 4 1/2 years. love it now but when I arrived I crumbled...big time. I cried all day, every day for the first 5 weeks. I used to walk from Ingle Farm (short term governmet accom) to Tea Tree Plaza every morning in floods of tears just so I could get out the house. I even phoned Beyond Blue!!! Then we took a trip to the Flinders...the tears stopped. Something clicked into place. I realised I was grieving for all the friends and family left behind and but I knew I would get through it. I did. Just passed the citizenship test, waiting on a ceremony for it to be official. I've never been back for a holiday, facebook is all I need. I also moved to a country town where I've built up an amazing support network. It will get better for you, give it time.

[Guest zamunda]

We are not there yet and sure we will also have to go through the "setteling down process".

 

If it helps think of it this way, there must be something about Oz that keeps you wanting to move there. Something about Oz thats better than the UK.

 

Look at the big picture. In time, you would have got through the transition.

 

Hope this helps.

[soo_the_panda]

Aw, sorry to hear. Three weeks is so recent - of course you feel upset! I've been here four years and still get homesick from time to time... I've been home each year and had my family come and stay once - but I remember moving here alone, moving into a share house, shutting my bedroom door and bursting into tears, realising I was on the other side of the world from everyone I knew, had just signed a contract to live with 5 complete strangers and felt so lost. It definitely gets easier... remember your first day in a new job? First day at high school? First day moving away to university/a new town? Friendships take a loooong time to develop... try not to think of the first year as 'normal' life, or assume that whatever you're experiencing now is normal... see the next 12 months as 'settling in' and try lots of new things, say yes to everything you're invited to, message people on here to arrange catch ups, come to the social events on here, push yourself out of your comfort zone and try a new sport, hobby, volunteering whatever.... in a few months you'll look back and feel so much better, I promise. In the meantime, a Skype chat with the people you miss most may make you feel better... but definitely get out there too and experience your new home =) ps and unless you hate hot weather, it's so much easier to be happy when the sun is shining, you've come at a great time - the weather will be amazing in a month or so! PM me if you want to chat any more xxx

[Guest Guest6899]

Hi londongirl, we arrived Friday so new to it all also!! also at the car shopping stage and sorting schools etc, i have to say that i have been fine since getting here not missed the uk at all. However i was suprised to hear hubby say he felt home sick as i thought it would be me the gibbering wreck after leaving my partents. I dont have any advice as were doing the same thing but i can offer somebody to talk too if you want to meet, chat and just generally unload.... x x

[AussieRob]

I know I'm not a newby anymore, but I remember the first night, I was with my ex partner and we both woke up in the middle of the night and hated everything. It was cold (arrived in July), the drive up south road, then main north road (we stayed in Gawler for 2 weeks) was horrible, felt like we'd gone back 60 years in time and left our gorgeous home in suburban Lichfield behind, plus friends and family, and of course when your leaving everyone loves you, so many parties and great nights.

 

Then bit by bit, we got a car, then sorted a rental, then the container arrived and managed to start a routine. I can't say I enjoyed the first 6 months greatly but i didn't fell anything as low as that first night again.

 

I know you have a lot of stuff to do and organise, but if your a little lonely then send a few private PM's to people near you maybe in a similar position, arrange to meet up. It can help you get some niggles off your chest, but you can also start sharing the things you like about the city and country, and it's nice to start seeing the good stuff.

[Rachiegarlo]

It will get better, once you have a routine. When I moved back here when my older two children were little, I missed a lot of things about my life in London. I missed taking my kids to the drop in playgroup every day which ran during school hours at the local primary school. None of my old friends from school here had children either so despite having family and friends and knowing Ads well I still felt isolated in a way. It takes time to develop a new life, but get out and explore, don't compare and find alternatives. Get involved in things at your child's school and go to all things you get invited to and then invite people over even if you don't feel like hosting. This is a good time of year to come back as people and Adelaide are putting on their sociable coats after the winter. There are lots of things to go to over the summer and people begin to dust off their bbqs. Where abouts are you staying?

[Guest nic lavidan]

You have done well to get this far so keep thinking to yourself that you can do it. Any move is stressful, no matter where you go. It will all pan out eventually and then you will look back at this and smile. Best of Luck

[Guest darlo 2 adelaide]

hi wOOLMERDJ

 

I read your post and had my floodgates opened!! Its always sad to hear someone struggling, especially if you're a single parent, perhaps trying to keep your chin up for your child too. I feel for you, I struggled too, not particulalry for money issues,just the seperation of normal life/familiararity. I remember feeling extremely stressed, but had people to speak to. I hope you have the same seperate from this site or perhaps an extension of this site. I dont; wnat to see you struggling, you coul dlaways pm me for a further chat/support.

 

hi we moved from london 3 years ago, found it really hard, leaving our families behind , we were put into government accomodation for the first 6 weeks untill we found a rental near to our daughters school , it takes time i would never want to be back where we were 3 years ago ,but i can assure you , it will get better, where are you maybe you could meet up with my wife we also have a 15 yr old daughter, all the very best.

 

david,jane,oliver and elizabeth

[Guest londongirl]

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I had no help with accommodation or anything, so have been feeling the strain, but it's comforting to know that there are people out there who have or are experiencing similar challenges. You are right, it's important to get out and meet lots of people, and I have done that as much as possible on public transport with a teenager in tow. I have found people to be generally more friendly than in England, so think it must be relatively easy to build up a network of friends over time... Some of the feelings are to do with letting go of the old life, some to do with fear of things not working out, and some just because of the overwhelming challenges faced in a strange country. Australia is a wonderful place in many ways, very positive, and full of brave people who who decided to change their lives for the better. I admire all of you here for that. Thank you Poms in Adelaide!

[janice1uk]

Londongirl, Im not there yet but sometimes i get down thinking of leaving my older children/grandchildren behind. I know that it will be very hard when we get there and i will no doubt want to come home after 2 weeks. I also know that will give Australia a fair go. i will be lonely when OH gets a job and im at home with the kids but they wont be little for long and im sure i will find something to fill my days. We dont arrive till Feb but if you want to meet anytime then give me a shout but you will be the one cheering me up lol. I hate to think of you stuggling send me a pm and we can sort something out. Hope it gets better soon. Janice.

[sandford5050]

Hi ... i have been through the very same thing!! i was so home sick!! but things are now on the up,,,,

 

i am now feeling more settled since starting work. I think its best to take it one step at a time,, i am sure there will be good days and bad days. Try and keep your chin up,,.

If you ever want to get together for a coffee and a chat please just message me (we live in hallett cove) i would love to meet up.

 

jules x

[Guest katy]

sounds like my story - if you want, we can meet for a coffee one day and i will fill you in on the ups and downs ...