From the USA, but don't hold that against us

[Guest USA soon just SA]

Hello everyone. After getting a positive skills evaluation for my wife, we are submitting our application for state sponsorship next week. This forum seems to be very welcoming of new members of the Adelaide community, and we hope to make many friends as our process unfolds over the coming months.

 

We have 2 daughters, ages 7 and 9, and when we were considering the 175 path there was a lot of time built into the process, so we thought that we would take the girls to Adelaide this july to show them around and get some good impressions of it. The plan was to then, on the plane ride home, let them "help make the family decision" to move. BUT, going the 176 route creates a situation where we would be visiting shortly before our final move. We have decided to save the money instead, so that we can take a family vacation a few months after the frustrations of moving have us all at each other's throats. This then brings up the problem that we will be imposing our decision on the girls and leaving us open to the "you ruined my life" complaints that are sure to come up eventually.

 

We cannot think of any group possibly more experienced in this area than the members of this forum, and would like to know any suggestions or approaches that other members have taken, whether they were successes, or failures certain to be avoided. Right now the kids are our biggest worry, as we want them to welcome this great adventure and see it for all it's potential, and not be poisoned by the fact that they had no choice.

 

We thank you all in advance for your responses. If this thread belongs in another area of this site, then go ahead and move it, or tell me how and I will do it.

 

We really look forward to being able to create a timeline for our posts, as they are one of our favorite parts of this site - it gives us so much hope, which can be in short supply some days.

[Diane]

Hi and welcome to the site. We moved over with our two kids in 2004 - they were 7 and 9 too at the time. Everything happened very fast for us because I already have dual citizenship, having been born in Aus many, many years ago, and my OH was offered a job-sponsored visa, so we really had very little time to acclimatize the kids to the idea! My then-9-yr-old daughter was pretty miffed with us for making a decision such as this for her at the time - and we had the old conversation about 'sometimes your parents have to make decisions for you' - but actually settled in really quickly, my son who was more easy-going just went along with it all (from what I can remember). Both are now true aussies, daughter about to go into her final year of schooling and an active member of the Australian Girls Choir, and various drama groups, which have given her some great opportunities, and son about to go into Year 10, playing in a rock band who have just been chosen to support Aussie X-Factor winner Jessica Mauboy in a concert here. A lot easier for kids to shine here I think, being big fish in a small pool!

 

We have found people here really friendly, the outdoor life fantastic, and schooling very good. There have of course been ups and downs, but as a family we probably spend a lot more time together now than we used to in the UK - purely down to having more hours at the end of the day (shorter work commute than is usual in the UK), and there being more stuff you can d together here, whether it be a family bike ride, game of tennis, or going out together as a family to a friends' house for a bbq.

 

Obviously there are things to get used to, different ways of doing - and saying - things, but treat the whole thing as a family adventure, be supportive of each other, and things have a way of settling down - before you know it, Adelaide will be 'home' to your kids and yourselves (I hope!). 7 and 9 are good ages to move - as their parents you get to meet other parents at the school gates, and as kids you get to settle into schools and friendship groups much quicker than perhaps teens might do!

[Rachiegarlo]

I agree with Diane, opportunities abound here for children. Whatever your children are into, they will be able to do it here, plus more. Perhaps get them to help you plan and look for activities they like to do. Involve them in the travel plans, etc as much as you are able. Once here, in school and partaking in activities most kids settle really quickly. The other plus is our closeness to Asia, which makes for good family holidays, also Fiji is a popular destination. Also within Australia itself there are many interesting family holiday destinations.

[Lazy Cow]

Hey there

 

We asked our kids if they fancied living in Australia and, to my surprise, they did. They still had days when they'd had a particularly fun time and would announce that the proposed move was a totally stinky idea, but then they'd see something on tv and be all for it again!

 

We always made it clear that nothing has to be forever. We promised that if they had bad days and really missed family and friends, we would put money to one side so we could visit or if they truly hated it, we would go back for good. As it happened, my son (10) wanted to touch base with his much-loved uncle and aunt (from Salem and Kentucky but in the UK...funny how that happens!) a year after we arrived. We popped back, he got the hugs and reassurance he hungered for -and wanted to come home, to Australia. Our other kid never wanted to go back, and when we had to because a rellie had cancer, she only did so she could go shopping. And even that disappointed her!

 

When we finally arrived, all was good. Like Diane's, our kids have both gone through primary, high school and now, for one, uni. Apart from the odd day, they have never regretted moving here,neither consider themselves English and both are proud of their Australian citizenship.

 

I totally agree with Diane (always seem to; the woman must be wise or something lol!) that having younger kids is a real advantage for you all. After all, you have to meet the parents before playdates etc which makes it so easier to find friends yourselves. And IMHO, part of the kids feeling at home is that feeling that you are part of the community and not alone in a new country without the people they have known all their lives.

 

It might sound mean but I wouldn't let the kids' reaction worry or impact on you too much.I think we are all concerned that our kids will embrace the move with the same excitment as our own, but really (and I'm feeling contemplative here lol!) kids, especially littlies, are creatures of the moment. They seem to feel the ups and the downs immediately and with passion but then, with the love and security of their family around them, they normally seem to let the feelings go. I think if they sense their parents are happy and think it's a good idea, they feel more secure and positive. I don't think kids always perceive things the way we would or can understand...after all, at that age an 18yo is old and 25+ is older than their imagination can stretch!

 

Sorry if I've rambled on a bit...I always get like this in school hols!

 

Hope it goes well for you

 

LC