my wife and i have been on this for at at lest 8 m hopeing to go to oz our older boy of 20 which does dot want to go is been a BIG prob so much ive lost the plot with my wife u see i real want go but my son is really holding back and iv gone one the drinck
I really feel for you (both)
Originally Posted by makaspippa7987
As a mum(of 5 kids)we are hoping to go to Adelaide by this Sept!Our eldest was coming with us originally now aged 20!The other kids are only 3,7,9 and 10!But since our application he has met a girl and become a father himself(always done what we have tried to warn him not to)So now he can no longer be included on our application!Obviously he is smitten with his baby daughter but he was so excited about coming to oz also!
So now we have had to make a decision : do we stay in the UK for him (as he is hopeless without us)
or do we continue with our plans!!!
Well we are still going!
But so not been easy!
We have 4 other young kids to think about and hey we maybe 41 and 44 but we want a new exciting life too!
I don't know your situation(and i really feel for your wife - us mums can't help it)
But there are many people on here who have left older kids behind!
Maybe you can keep the doors open for him!You will always be there BUT you need to do this!
If nothing else look at the fab holidays he will have to look forward to!
But i understand what a horrible situ to be in!
But at 20 years old he will fly the nest and he will make his own life (and hey guess what you won't be considered in it as he will do what he wants sooner or later)
Stick together(your Wife needs some support!Don't fall out over it!Arguing gets us no were!Try talking)
It's such a huge decision and so many emotions to deal with!
It has to be a mutual decision to move to australia, try not to put pressure on your wife and maybe she will start to see the light. Its a long way to go and then find that there is resentment between you once there.
I have 3 daughters one of which is 21, she would love to come, but i cannot take her on my visa but she is an adult now and needs to make her own decisions and make her own way in life. thats not to say i won't miss her when the rest of us go, because i know its going to be a day of some serious heartbreak waving good bye to my eldest, not knowing when i will see her again. But I can sponsor her to come over if she so decides, once we are settled.
I guess what i am trying to say is that you and your wife need to agree to go, but she also needs to let go of your son, he is a man, not a boy, its his decision not to go. If it was me I would work on my wife to let go before pushing the Oz move, maybe making sure he is sorted, with a place to live etc...
I don't know, i'm just rambling now...
I hope you can all work it all out.
yeah BaznDaf have a point, at 20 he is an adult and can do his own thing, the move has to be for yourself and your other half, my parents emmigrated while my brother was at home when he was 21, he had to move out and set himself up, he was a lazy bugger and I thought he'd be there come 30, but it's done him the world of good, my mum had a struggle initially missing us but I was in OZ at the time anyway and she's adapted, so did my brother, your boy is a fully grown and responsible adult, let him make his own mind up, and tell him there is always a room at your house in OZ should he change his mind, he would have to get his own visa anyway now wouldn't he???
you maybe trying to hold onto the strings too tightly, which is why he want's to buck the trend, he is trying to be independant, you should let him, take the pressure off of him and he may want to go, don't stay in the UK because of him as you'll resent the decision in the long run, and leave the bottle alone until your on an ozzie beach with a barbie!