Thank you all so much. Lovely to meet such lovely people :-)
The way hubby and I see it is we have nothing keep us here anymore, we have lived this life of constant stress and nastiness from my family, and even my husband has a tough relationship with his mum and it's got us down for years. The final straw was what my brother did to me, my husband and my child. I decided I had to get away but then I suffered agoraphobia and anxiety after what he did so I decided to forget moving for now. Now things are a bit better, and I really don't want to stay here with family close by, horrible memories and hurt of how I have been treated, I think I am ready to take that step. Some may say it's running away but it isn't, it's just we deserve a fresh start, we have been through hell in the last few years thanks to those that were supposed to love us. I hate seeing my children unhappy too. My friends and family I do have tell us to get away from here, fresh start and never come back because we deserve happiness. My family have made my 34 years hell and i need this move, I just have to tell my anxiety to bugger off and let me do it because it can't be as bad as staying here and feeling as alone and anxious as I do everytime I have to see family.
Also my husband is a Quantity Surveyor and he has been having a tough time here work wise the last 5 years. He can't seem to get jobs that last more than 2 years and it's getting him down and stressed as he knows friends of his have given up on the UK and moved to Australia and have 10 year contracts. It is also his dream to live there and I really want to give him that because he deserves it, he has been my rock the last 20 months when I couldn't go out and was so anxious.
My daughters friend from school moved to Adelaide 2 years ago and they love it, they won't be coming home they have said. We talk to them on Skype often and they are so happy out there. I have cousins in Brisbane and friends in Perth that i went to school with. Adelaide just jumps out to us as a lovely place to bring up children.
We haven't applied for anything as yet, we are eligible for a visa, my husband has looked into it plenty ;-) I guess we have little to lose by just going for it.
Thanks again everyone, your replies made me smile and almost feel excited about this ;-)
I agree with what everyone else has said - life is too short.
With regards to the anxiety, you don't have to suffer alone. I'm not suggesting medication at all, but maybe counselling? You've been through a lot. Also counselling can give you coping strategies for the anxiety. From personal experience, sometimes the fear of anxiety is worse than the anxiety itself!
I'm on medication, have had some counselling last year to talk it out and now having CBT to help with the anxiety and the way I think about things. Not sure meds are helping but the CBT has helped alot.
I agree, worrying about things, worrying about the anxiety and panic is much worse than the actual events.
You are so brave to write it all on here. I've been there too, I had a lot of awful thing happen in a short space of time and the result was anxiety! Its horrible, I couldn't sleep, eat, kept feeling sick and lost a lot of weight. I felt scared the whole time.
My husbands dream was moving to Australia so when he got a job and it all became real, I had to think about how I was going to handle it. I hate flying too!
I went to see a councillor, got tablets off the doctor and it all made me worse!
So I stopped taking the tablets,( I'm not advising that is the best option, for everyone) but they made me alert and unable to sleep, I stopped seeing the councillor, I visited him one day in my worst state of anxiety and he didn't have the answers. Instead I got some sleeping tablets from the pharmacy ( non prescription) had a couple of good nights sleep. That made me feel so much better, then I got my appetite back.
I decided to look to the future instead of sitting in the past, my husband and family mean the world to me, so I focus on them.
We fly over in 3 weeks, sure I'm nervous but my head is so full of arrangements for the move, that I don't have time to focus on the things that make me anxious.
As for the flying, I'm just going to think about finding our dream home while I'm on the plane and our new life in the lucky country.
Good luck to you and your family, just go for it :-) don't let anxiety win.
Like I keep saying "YOLO" it.
Thank you for your kind reply.
I do think living there would be the fresh start I need, we all need. I just wish I could push through this and say so what anxiety, you can come with me.
Wow, that's amazing. You should be so proud of yourself. I hope all goes well for you :-) :-)
Originally Posted by candt