I registered for this site a while back but haven't used it really, so just wanted to say hello and I hope to be using this site alot more.
I am having a bit of a predicament and could do with some advice. Maybe noone can help, and only I can answer this but I feel I need to write out how I feel.
I am 34, my husband is 37, our children are 12, 10 and 8. We live in the UK. My husband is a Quantity Surveyor in the construction industry. He has had the dream of moving to Australia for a long time, I feel I hold him back as I have always said I can't go and leave my family. Well 2 years ago something happened with my violent brother and he scared my children when he arrived at our home and hit my husband for no reason at all. He has mental health issues. A year later he came after me and tried to hurt me too but was arrested. He has since apologised but I don't want him in our lives. Since then my mother and sister have almost abandoned me. I started suffering from high anxiety and agoraphobia last year after all the stress. I am now getting out more and life is a little better but I am unhappy living 10 minutes from my family, we don't have a relationship anymore and I see no reason to stay here feeling this unhappy. My husband thinks a fresh start away from the family that have hurt me for most of my life will be the best thing and I agree with him but I am worrying what if it makes my anxiety, more to the point how will I get on the plane. My agoraphobia is much better but I admit the thought of it scares me, it's a long flight.
I want to give hubby his dream, I want a better life for my children away from the horrible memories and a fresh start for my lovely family. I just need a kick up the backside and stop letting anxiety prevent me. I am here in the UK really unhappy, with no family keeping me here. It's been 20 months now since all of the upset and I am feeling so unhappy as is my husband.
Sorry, I just needed to get it all out. I know noone can help me decide. I just wish I didn't suffer anxiety, even though it's much better now. I hate how i let it stop me doing things to make my life better.