So told the family

[alexandkaren]

So told my family at the weekend that we would b moving t o Adelaide early next year & too say they went off their heads would b an understatement.

I knew they would b upset by my 19year old sister has pulled every emotional card out the bag!

Any advice. I'm actually beginning to wobble & thinking that maybe we shouldn't go.

Thanks

Karen x

[samandcraig]

Oh no!! Do you have your visa in place? Is it the first time you have spoke to them about it?? My auntie (who is like my mother) does not want us to go and cries every time she sees us but she has not once said that she doesn't want us to go! She knows it's what is best for us and even though we know she doesn't want us to go she is selfless enough to be happy for us. My husbands mother on the other hand was very upset and questioned us, so know how your feeling, you just have to remember all the reasons your doing this and why you decided to make the move in the first place, will they visit? X

[alexandkaren]

Sam

They've not asked us to not go but have made their feelings very clear. Not got our visa in place as we are going on a 457 thinking of delaying the move & going on a 489 later on in the year. They do know that we will more than likely b making the move. tbh we weren't 100% about the job offer my husband received. Just so confused so think we'll have a few weeks of not thinking about the move & see how we feel. I'm just not sure l can leave them when push cones to crunch. Thanks for your reply. What a rollercoaster!

[Tamara (Homes Down Under)]

Sorry to hear this.

It's a really common reaction to the prospect of you moving to the other side of the world. Sam is totally right. Your reasons for the move have to be the ones that are best for you and your immediate family.

I see many cases where family undermine the process but there are so many instances where family accept things and then make frequent visits. My own parents will be out for their fourth visit at the end of the year!

Best of luck...

[Guest Claire-n-tel]

So told my family at the weekend that we would b moving t o Adelaide early next year & too say they went off their heads would b an understatement.

I knew they would b upset by my 19year old sister has pulled every emotional card out the bag!

Any advice. I'm actually beginning to wobble & thinking that maybe we shouldn't go.

Thanks

Karen x

 

Hi Karen

 

I think It is awful when families do that.

 

I would suggest if you can, to stay calm, ie refuse to actually argue about it, if someone is shouting at you have the same few statements ready to say to them in a quiet calm voice. (It is much more difficult for someone to continue to shout at you if you answer in a quiet calm voice.

 

Remain firm, they can be sad that you are going but should not make you feel guilty, you have obviously put a lot of thought into your decision and decided that it is what you and your family want to do. Do not enter into bargaining with them about when you will leave etc.

 

Tell them why you are doing it, if it is hard to get them to listen then write it in a letter. Then tell them that you would love to talk to them about what you are doing but will not be entering into any argument or discussion about not going.

 

Remember they are upset because they love you. Hopefully they will come around.

[Guest Guest75]

As others have said.........................it is always going to be most families first reaction.

 

There will be shouting, there will be emotional blackmail, there will be conversations about how many beasties want to bite /eat or sting you here.

 

 

BUT - it is for your immediate family.

 

The majority of "upset family members" do eventually come out to visit you and then realise why you made the move.

 

Time is a healer.

 

 

We did not tell our families until we had a house in place and everything organised. They said - "Well at least you have somewhere to live" and "Great!! - a new holiday destination!":biglaugh:

[SMKD75]

So told my family at the weekend that we would b moving t o Adelaide early next year & too say they went off their heads would b an understatement.

I knew they would b upset by my 19year old sister has pulled every emotional card out the bag!

Any advice. I'm actually beginning to wobble & thinking that maybe we shouldn't go.

Thanks

Karen x

 

Hi Karen, I too remember that day well when we told my parents. It was horrible and I went home and cried nearly all afternoon, but we carried on with our plans. It got to a stage where we did not communicate the best and I do regret that but it before we moved out they were very supportive. We have been here 6 months now but are still getting the guilt conversations especially with xmas coming up. As a family we have all talked and we are all happy here, I love seeing my sons living the outdoor life and enjoying life. For me, work is pretty much as the UK but my weekends are great and I really do feel as a family we are so much happier. Good luck and stay positive, Sue x

[samandcraig]

Hi Karen, I too remember that day well when we told my parents. It was horrible and I went home and cried nearly all afternoon, but we carried on with our plans. It got to a stage where we did not communicate the best and I do regret that but it before we moved out they were very supportive. We have been here 6 months now but are still getting the guilt conversations especially with xmas coming up. As a family we have all talked and we are all happy here, I love seeing my sons living the outdoor life and enjoying life. For me, work is pretty much as the UK but my weekends are great and I really do feel as a family we are so much happier. Good luck and stay positive, Sue x

 

Lovely to hear positivity.........

[alexandkaren]

Thanks everyone for supportive messages xx

[Karthik]

Remember "This Too Shall Pass". Every moment in life is an experience that time teaches us.