Been here a couple of years

[Jan]

Hi everyone,my family and I moved to Australia from West Sussex nearly two years ago. My eldest daughter who is 17 went back to the uk as she found it hard to settle I have three small children here and I am just starting to feel slightly settled. Just wondering how other members feel? I still miss England as well.

[brettcoleman1]

Jan, we are coming over from West Sussex in September!

[KennyKen]

Hi jan I am finding it difficult to adjust. I've also been here 2 years and I'm quite bored to be honest. I've exhausted all the things to do here with the family. There's only so many times you can do mount lofty before it gets tiresome.

[snifter]

Hi jan I am finding it difficult to adjust. I've also been here 2 years and I'm quite bored to be honest. I've exhausted all the things to do here with the family. There's only so many times you can do mount lofty before it gets tiresome.

 

I've been here 2.5 years now and not bored at all. Different people, different views, opinions and experiences

[snifter]

Hello and welcome to the forum Jan

 

It can take a fair while for people to find their feet when they migrate. Moving the other side of the world is no small thing. Older teens can struggle to settle and find their place here and often want to be back with the familiar, their friendship groups and so on. Things like Skype, FB and stuff often don't help them as they can often focus too much on what they left behind and so find it hard to be here and trying to build a new friendship group and so on. Having said that, same can happen to adults too

 

I've not found it hard to settle here though have had the odd (sometimes big) bump in the road we've had to overcome but no different from life in the UK in that respect. I think had we stayed living down in the metropolitan area on the flat I'd have struggled a lot but thankfully (it suits us anyways) we moved somewhere more peaceful and on the edge of the countryside and that has made a huge difference.

 

I can't say I've missed England either. I'm probably the worst person at missing the UK when I leave it. I spent most of my 20's overseas living and moving back to England was a huge culture shock and I never really settled back there after that, though I was happy living there and loved living and working rural for those years in my 30's before moving here.

 

Have you made some friends? Found some things that interest you? I joined a book club and met some other women that way. Also through my son's sports clubs I've met others, helped out, made new friends and so on. And we are often out and about on weekends or have people over.

 

There is no right or wrong to migration. Everyones experiences are going to be different. What one finds, another won't. Where someone struggles to find work, another person will be in work within weeks of arriving. Adelaide has lots going on, of course not all of it appeals to everyone but we've always found plenty to do with our son and as a family. We also take the odd mini break and head further afield when we can. We took a trip to the UK last July for a month (husband stayed here as he had no desire to go back having been there for work a few months before) and I was itching to get back here to Aus after about 10 days. Was lovely to visit but it wasn't home anymore I found. My life has moved on. I loved seeing people but quite a few of my friends didn't make much effort even though I travelled to the town (a 2 hour drive from where I was staying) and let them all know when we'd be there etc. Though this didn't surprise me, it did have me feeling rather sad but then I remember and accepted that their lives move on also and the friends I did see I know are the ones I'll still be able to catch up with again a few years from now and it'll be like we only just nattered last week (that's how it felt this time too). I don't need to see them every day or week or month for the friendship to ensure. Plus we've Skyped a few times and chat on IM and other things.

 

I hope you are able to feel more settled as time goes on. If things are feeling like they are falling into place now, hopefully that will continue and in 6 months or a year you'll be able to look back and be happy with where you are. If you are really struggling then you may have to ask if Adelaide (or Aus in general) is for you in the long term. Some people reckon it takes a couple of years to feel settled, others find they feel settled sooner, some longer, some never. I think giving it a fair crack for a few years is a good thing if you do like it but can't quite get it all to fall in to place early on and if after that you still feel like its not for you, sticking around to exist in a place where you are not completely happy or content or wanting to be, don't put yourself through that unless there are extenuating circumstances and perhaps staying put is the least worst option for everyone, including yourself.

 

The hardest part is perhaps the missing England and how that can linger and sometimes not allow you to focus on the here and now. The comparing, the sometimes rose tinted specs moments, the missing people, places, the familiar. Aus can be a big step outside of the comfort zone, is nothing like the UK and often can be quite jarring (for example, I find much of modern Aus closer to the US than the UK in style/appearance and I never liked that aspect of the US personally so here wasn't going to be different). But its not in my day to day line of sight, I drive past much of it and the other parts of Adelaide, of SA and Aus are enough to not let it spoil things for me. I used to get annoyed as aspects of life in England as much as I get annoyed at things here. Trip back reminded me traffic jams are a fact of life wherever you live

 

Please let us know how you are going, sometimes having a place to come share, vent on occasion, meet others perhaps, can help

 

Er, yeah, one of my longer typing things. I tend to ramble without realising

[snifter]

Hi jan I am finding it difficult to adjust. I've also been here 2 years and I'm quite bored to be honest. I've exhausted all the things to do here with the family. There's only so many times you can do mount lofty before it gets tiresome.

 

Adelaide, like Perth and other remote cities/towns in Aus has that issue for some I feel. I do have that picture of the huge expanse of space between Adelaide and any other city in my head and sometimes it drops on me and frustrates the crap out of me. Like when I fancy a weekend away to somewhere else city wise but its an expensive flight or a 10 hour drive to get there for a weekend. Overall though, we don't find it impacts our lives in a negative way nor does it spoil living here for us. And we can always find something to do on weekends and school holidays. Much of it is just the same as we did in the UK tbh. Days out to places, head to the beach, days at home with friends over. Then a holiday somewhere. East coast tends to be busier population wise and perhaps has more for those who find the remoteness of Adelaide (and other remote cities) too much.

 

People coming from the UK, or other places, may struggle with the remoteness of some cities and places here in Aus as places to live long term. That being used to having things within easy reach like they were in the UK is sometimes not easy to get past or adapt to. We lived in the west country for a long time and were well used to a 45 minute drive to the nearest big town, the nearest city was an hour. Then we moved to the Bristol area and it was so busy, everything so crammed together and the train to London was 2 hours or so. I can appreciate people coming from busier parts of the UK or used to a run down the M4 to get to somewhere else for a day trip may arrive in Adelaide and boggle. Some adapt, some don't mind it, some struggle or find its not enough in the long term.

[wizzywozza]

I've been here for just over 25 years and STILL miss West Sussex, but my hubby who has been here for just over 9 years doesn't miss it at all! Every time I've been back I've felt torn between here and there, but it's not so bad since my Mum moved over to East Sussex as last time I stayed with her was in her new bungalow in Peacehave and not my old childhood home in Lower Salvington with all its lovely memories.

[KathCats]

Hi everyone,my family and I moved to Australia from West Sussex nearly two years ago. My eldest daughter who is 17 went back to the uk as she found it hard to settle I have three small children here and I am just starting to feel slightly settled. Just wondering how other members feel? I still miss England as well.

 

 

Hi Jan,

You are not alone in feeling homesick.

We been here 18 months and still haven't settled properly.

Our daughter was 10 when we arrived and is now almost 12, she misses the cold ice and snow and has taken up ice-skating!!!

She also says that she wants to go back to the UK and go to Durham Uni. Kids, they always want the opposite of their parents.

We aint giving up though, it cost us so much to get here, both emotionally and financially.

I recently found myself in Flinders Hosp having surgery which was dreadful, I missed being around my own people. However, when I woke up from Theatre there was a nurse singing Hello from the Other Side in a Scottish accent!! That made me smile.

Its strange how, when you are feeling happy and open you meet lovely people, yet when you are feeling low and homesick there is no-one there, or that's how it feels....best to just pretend you are happy and then one day you will be X

[zebedee]

The two year mark for me was a rough one - felt totally deflated and couldn't remember why we had moved here......it was a bit of a wall but it passed and life is good - about to hit the 4 year point. I went back to the UK last summer for two weeks and couldn't wait to get back to Oz - the people I missed, but the country.....just wasn't home anymore.

[PatP]

Personally I don't think the home sickness ever goes away ,you just get used to it or try to We emigrated in 1982 and left my parents in the UK -I was an only child so my kids were the only grandchildren We travelled to and fro as often as we could so in lots of ways never cut the cord in leaving home But Oz is home as well In 2001 we came back to look after my Mum and we then went back to Adelaide in 2006 Mid 2013 we decided we would retire to the UK -financially we are quite comfortable here But having said that we now have the pull of grandchildren and great grandchildren in Oz So hard and we have now decided to move back to Adelaide and will do that in April sometime Its such a hard call as we are quite at home in England and there is lots to love about being here but we are also quite at home in Adelaide and looking forward to being back !