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Guest ali@51

old??????

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    Guest ali@51

    three elderly women are walking down a road when a naked man comes running towards them.

    "Oh no" the first woman says and has a heart attack.

    "Oh, gosh!" the second woman shrieks and faints

    "Oh, wow" the third woman squeals and has a stroke..............................:P

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    Guest Django
    oh soooooooo good

     

    Oh soooooooooo rude. :eek: You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes. ;):D

     

    Pete

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    Guest dglamoore
    Oh soooooooooo rude. You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes.

     

    Pete

     

    ahhhh but is it your mind just making us seem sooooo naughty ;):P

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest Roo1
    Oh soooooooooo rude. :eek: You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes. ;):D

     

    Pete

     

    Go on then Pete, share a "boy" joke then. Lets have a giggle...;)

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    Guest Django
    Go on then Pete, share a "boy" joke then. Lets have a giggle...;)

     

    That sounds like a challenge. Ok here goes. Nice and clean with no female putting in smut:p...

     

     

    A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.

     

    Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"

     

    "Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Tony Blair, John Prescott, Gordon Brown and Jack Straw.

     

    They're asking for a £10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire.

     

    We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."

     

    The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

     

    "Most people are giving about a gallon."

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    Guest Leanne & Mark

    Not sure whether to laugh or gasp in Horror.

     

    Very good attempt though, but not really side splitting.;)

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    Guest Django

    Ok Leanne here is one for you ladies

     

     

    The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The pre-natal class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

     

    She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"

     

    She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner."

     

    The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

     

    "Yes?" asked the teacher.

     

    "I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" ;)

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    Guest Leanne & Mark

    CHEEKY

     

    Thats better, not quite a lol, but it made me chuckle.

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    Guest dglamoore

    Love the second one Pete - personal experience by any chance :P:o

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest Leanne & Mark

    tHIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH

     

    Ideal Traits In Men For Women

    What It Means In Reality

    Artistic

    Is able to find matching socks.

    Athletic

    Can get up to get his own seconds.

    Classy

    Puts back his Playboy in the hidden drawer.

    Communicates well

    Answers phone.

    Considerate

    Has learned to splatter less and put seat down sometimes.

    Faithful

    Would let you know of his flings.

    Hopelessly romantic

    Will remember to buy roses for you.

    Intellectual

    Reads ‘Playboy’.

    Interested in women who have brains

    Has learned to look to the face of the women sometimes while talking to her instead of her chest.

    Loves kids and pets

    Will not throw away a crying kid and had a snake once.

    Sensitive

    Acknowledges the fact that you are crying.

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