cint&mark

Am i normal???!!!

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    I've spent the best part of a year or so on this amazing site and read many a story of how unbelievably hard emotionally it is to say those goodbyes to everyone and how up and down people have felt prior to departure with doubts/fears etc creeping in... well i'm now seriously wondering if there's something wrong with me at this mo. in time ... we've got one week to go before we fly out on a permanent visa and I have been imagining this time for sooooo long thinking I'd be an emotional wreck basket case by now saying 'bye' to my massive family [8 bros/sisters and 33 nieces/nephews:err:] - the weird truth of it is I feel like i've just shut down emotionally [sorry for the psychobabble] cos there are toooooo many damn things to do before we leave that I can't afford myself this luxury of 'going there'... !! My OH is the same - will it suddenly hit us???? Has anyone else gone through feeling this? Everytime there's a farewell to say and a close family member starts to blub I just feel awful that i can't show them any emotion back! {I'm not usually the cold hearted bitch type by the way!! :biglaugh:]

    So what's going on?????

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    Guest Stella and Dave

    Hi Cint and Mark,

    I sort of understand what you mean, we had a big leaving party on saturday, lots of teary eyes and I only managed to squeeze a tear out when an old school friend appeared, and then only one! i feel like an emotional desert, mind you its been a whole week of leaving partys and goodbyes. When and IF the flood gates open, look out! Mind you its been a massively emotional 18 months, I'm drained.

    Humans are funny things, maybe my subconscious is protecting me cos it knows I'm exhausted with it all.

    Does this make me sound wierd? Stel

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    Guest the4hopes

    I felt exactly the same, I did get a bit upset saying goodbye to people, but then I just got on with things because there was so much to do. I just had a small breakdown for about 30 seconds just before our taxi arrived at our house because I had a bit of time to realise things,(also I had only just finished packing the 12 cases and weighing them!) we were leaving our house for my sister in law to live in and she was having our two cats!So it also just felt like we were going on holiday. I just looked around and thought 'oh my god thats it'! Got in the taxi and I was fine.From then on I still havent felt much emotion! 10 months after.

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    I know exactly how u feel.....i think it is because you have so much on your mind, so much to plan and prepare for that emotions get puched to the back! But believe me they will appear eventually!!

     

    Dan

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    I've spent the best part of a year or so on this amazing site and read many a story of how unbelievably hard emotionally it is to say those goodbyes to everyone and how up and down people have felt prior to departure with doubts/fears etc creeping in... well i'm now seriously wondering if there's something wrong with me at this mo. in time ... we've got one week to go before we fly out on a permanent visa and I have been imagining this time for sooooo long thinking I'd be an emotional wreck basket case by now saying 'bye' to my massive family [8 bros/sisters and 33 nieces/nephews:err:] - the weird truth of it is I feel like i've just shut down emotionally [sorry for the psychobabble] cos there are toooooo many damn things to do before we leave that I can't afford myself this luxury of 'going there'... !! My OH is the same - will it suddenly hit us???? Has anyone else gone through feeling this? Everytime there's a farewell to say and a close family member starts to blub I just feel awful that i can't show them any emotion back! {I'm not usually the cold hearted bitch type by the way!! :biglaugh:]

    So what's going on?????

     

    I've been there, I was the one that was consolling everybody else. I had no emotion, I just couldn't wait to get here.

     

    It was a really strange feeling, I had watched people blubbing all over my OH, kids and myself and all I could mustre up was, just think of the holidays you can have! Only thing was, I got so used to saying it, that I said it to an old Aunt and Uncle, who then stopped in their tracks and said.....you know we can't fly!.....my response, well take a cruise then!

     

    I am just of the nature that if you want something badly enough then you will do it, you will find a way. I couldn't believe my reaction, neither could my other half, as believe it or not I do actually have a lot of emotion and think I have a very understanding and kind nature, but it just seemed to have switched off, I just felt that this was my time to be selfish for my family.

     

    The emotion still hasn't came out and we have been here nearly 18 months......I have had a few visitors, parents, friends etc, still no emotion to be had....I just think some things are meant to be and don't want to upset myself over something that is making myself and family extremely happy.

     

    I've never had any doubts, anxieties, fears, reservations....you know what I mean. The OH has had his wobbles, but mostly for his dad and brother, who he worked with everyday....me I wouldn't change this new adventure for anything!

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    There's nothing wrong with you at all Cint. I didn't get very emotional about it either, and trust me I'm the sort who cries at music, sad stories, even adverts! I really think that you switch off to protect yourself from the flood of emotion from other people. I had no doubts about leaving the UK, although I do have the occasional wobble and think about returning, but that, I think, is partly guilt at how easy it felt to walk away from family and friends.

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    Thank you so much everyone - feel loads better after hearing i'm not the only one to feel a bit unemotional about the big departure... I guess there is no right or wrong way to feel[or not feel as the case may be!] We've waited sooo long to get to this point [nearly 4 yrs and 2 kids later since we first started application process] that maybe we are just emotionally drained! Thanks again for your replies..:notworthy::notworthy: ooohhh I love this site!

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    Yeah I'd agree, when we left our house in the Uk my mum was just finishing painting the front door when the taxi pulled up, she put the brush in the bin and shut the door and thought well that's that. We went and stayed for a week with my aunt and then with my grandparents for a night cos they lived near Southampton.

     

    When I went back to England with my son, my mum came to see me off ( no international airport in Adelaide then and you had to fly to Melbourne) and had this feeling she would not see me for a long time. I felt like it was just heading off on another trip. Our family is used to travelling around though and have never really lived in the same town as rellies.

     

    I think there is so much to organise and do that you get so frantic with those detailsnthat there isn't much time to think or feel anything else. It's only when you stop and are able to take stop of things that it may hit you. Some people it doesn't though, we are all different in the way we view and deal with things.

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    Guest jorose

    I wasn't emotional until the pet people came for my cat on the day we were leaving. I then cried buckets waving my parents goodbye when the taxi came. Cried on the plane everytime I thought of it but as soon as I landed......they went. You're not heartless. Everyone experiences different emotions at different times.

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