HEAPS GOOD !!!

A Pom in Oz the early days....Hope not to offend anybody...

    Recommended Posts

    August 31 - Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

     

    September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.

     

    September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

     

    October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I expected.

     

    October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

     

    October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskers and cat poo. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

     

    October 25 - This wind is a swine. It feels like a giant f****n' blow dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from f****n' Perth ...

     

    October 30th - The temperatures up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the f****in' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.

     

    November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30. Stupid repairman.

     

    November 8 - If one more smart bum says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to ****in' throttle him. F****n' heat! By the time I get to work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking flamin' wet and I smell like baked cat!

     

    November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my f****n' bum was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and my ****in' bum. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried bum and baked cat!

     

    November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a f****n' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and f****n' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything for two f****n' months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

     

    November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f****n' place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the f****n' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the f****n' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the f*****s!

     

    November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 f*****n' degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid f****r. F****n' Newman! What kind of sick, demented f****n' idiot would want to live here!

     

    December 1 - WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are f****n' kidding!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Nick11

    Totally offended- call a moderator!!!!!!

    Ooops!!!!

    Read this many years on british expats but now has real relevance .Still makes me laugh.

    New years eve weather -42 and sunny!!!! Bring it on!!!!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest The Dimmocks

    Give us a few months after we arrive and we may be posting a post along those lines :):)

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now