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Guest thekings

Proud to be British........

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    Guest thekings

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a

    Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on

    the way to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

     

    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

     

    Oh and...... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

     

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to

    the back of the shop to get their prescriptions ,while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

     

    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

     

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

     

    Only in Britain.... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the

    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

     

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and

    then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want

    to talk to in the first place.

     

    Only in Britain.... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION...

     

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

     

    142 Brits were injured in 2009 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

     

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

     

    31 Brits have died since 2008 by watering their Christmas tree while

    the fairy lights were plugged in.

     

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker

    pulling accidents.

     

    101 people in 2009 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out

    of the soles of their feet.

     

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2009 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

     

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

    opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

     

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

     

    and finally......... In 2009 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst

    throwing up into the toilet.

     

     

     

    We might be British but hell we're funny !! :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

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    Guest thekings
    I saw exactly the same e mail but it was all about aussies!

     

    Sounds about right :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

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    Guest Messua

    Have a safe journey! We left the house too. It took a while to sell, but we bought a place here and we've never looked back.

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    Guest pushbutton

    Hilariously true (except that many of those things happen in Australia too!) Thanks, I needed a good laugh.

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