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Parents job description.

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    Guest Guest75

    PARENT- Job Description

     

    This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe

    any of us would have done it!!!!

     

    POSITION :

    Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma

    Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

     

    JOB DESCRIPTION :

     

    Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an

    often chaotic environment.

    Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational

    skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include

    evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

    Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping

    sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away

    cities!

    Travel expenses not reimbursed.

    Extensive courier duties also required.

     

    RESPONSIBILITIES :

     

    The rest of your life.

    Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs

    cash.

    Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

    Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to

    go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the

    screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

    Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as

    small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

    Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production

    of multiple homework projects.

    Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients

    of all ages and mental outlooks.

    Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the

    next.

    Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million

    cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

    Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

    Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end

    product.

    Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work

    throughout the facility.

     

    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

     

    None.

    Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without

    complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that

    those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

     

    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

     

    None required unfortunately.

    On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

     

    WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

     

    Get this! You pay them!

    Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

    A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption

    that college will help them become financially independent.

    When you die, you give them whatever is left.

    The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually

    enjoy it and wish you could only do more..

     

    BENEFITS :

     

    While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition

    reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this

    job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

    unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your

    cards right.

     

    Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for

    everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are

    appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to

    anyone thinking of applying for the job.

     

    ** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

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