For any Scots with a sense of humour...

[Diane]

BBC iPlayer - Jo Caulfield Won't Shut Up!: Episode 3

[Guest WhatNow?]

Thanks for diggin up that little nugget Diane!

[ian mc]

WHA'S LIKE US

DAMFEW AND THERE DEID

 

The average Englishman in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume-a shabby raincoat -patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow

 

In route to his office he strides along the English lane surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr Scotland.

 

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop Veterinary surgeon of Dreghorn Scotland

 

At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers bookseller and printer of Dundee Scotland

 

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell born in Edinburgh Scotland .At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bike invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan blacksmith of thorn hill Dumfriesshire Scotland.

 

He watches the news on TV an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh Scotland and hears an item about the US navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirk-bean Scotland.

 

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

 

He has now been been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the bible ,only to find the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot King James VI who authorised its translation.

 

He could take a drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech -loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pit fours Scotland

 

If he escaped death he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel Scotland and given Chloroform an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James young Simpson obstetrician and gynaecologist of Bathgate Scotland

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the bank of England founded by William Patterson of Dumfries Scotland.

 

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be a transfusion of guid old Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask

WHA'S LIKE US

[Guest DanandJanna]

Cheers Diane, thought the i player didn't work over here for some reason. Funny story about Stirling Castle!

[Mr & Mrs Taz]

Well this Scot thought that was Very Funny and I am from Paisley.