csobrien1966

smart arsed answers

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    THE 6 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2006

     

     

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER 6

    It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you

    like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front

    row.

    "What are my choices?" the man asked.

    "Yes or no," she replied.

     

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER 5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check

    tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

    his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said,

    "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER 4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of

    Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

    She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

    The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER 3

    The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for

    speeding, rolled down his window.

    "I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.

    The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."

    When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his

    way without a ticket.

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER 2

    A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up

    that read " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was

    directly ahead and he got stuck under it..

    Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

    The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and

    said to the driver,

    "Got stuck, eh?"

    The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

    petrol!"

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

    A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's

    final exam.

    "Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

    tomorrow.

    I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,

    illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

    excuses whatsoever!"

    A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and

    asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete

    and utter sexual exhaustion?"

     

     

    The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence

    was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her

    head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam

    with your other hand."

     

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