I know it's cheesy but the old ones are the best!!!

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    A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.

    After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to

    > that new club, fancy tagging along?"


    > The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up

    > getting my head kicked in."


    > So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll

    > look after you."


    > Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long

    > as you'll look after me," and off they go.


    > After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as

    > he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look

    >at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little

    > jelly head, beating him with little sugary chairs, and generally having

    >a laugh.


    > After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his

    > battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby

    >blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after



    > "I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are menthol"

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