The Wobbles, Scared, Confused.........

[Guest Aussiebound]

Hi everyone

 

Well, we really are confused in Boston at the moment.

 

After being so excited at getting a Case Officer and booking our medicals, I am really considerering not moving at all......

 

All along myself and Neil have said that if we don't move to Australia we will relocate to Lincoln to be nearer Neils family and work. Why then, when we seem so close to the dream of Australia becoming reality do I think I would rather go to Lincoln.

 

We have spent a lot of time looking at relocation costs to Oz, along with interest and exchange rates, house prices etc.... all which have changed dramatically for us in the last year and the house we could have had a year ago now seems impossible.

 

or is that just an excuse and I am just so scared of actually making the move.....

 

because it isn't just about the house, its the whole lifestyle thing. And if we did go, we still haven't 100% decided on Adelaide or Brisbane, I am so confused about what to do, its not just Neil and my future we are gambling with, we have the children to consider to. If we go and hate it, could we afford to come back and have the life we have now...

 

I have looked into Lincoln, and yes, it is so much more easier, child care readily availbale and we both have good jobs, we don't really want for anything and do have a good standard of living....

 

but Am I just taking the easy option? Neil is so gutted and deflated by me thinking like this, the only words I can think of to describe him!

 

I know no one can tell me what to do but it feels a bit better to get it out in the open.

 

Sorry for rambling on.:arghh::arghh:

 

Sarah

[Guest Russfamily]

lifes one big gamble and where ever u end up you will make the most of any situation.

[Guest Django]

we have the children to consider to.

 

The best reason in the world to go in my opinion.

 

It is fear of the unknown which is natural. But as I have said many times before.... regret the things you do rather than regret not doing them. Think of yourself ten years down the line. Will you say 'what if?'

As for jobs........ I would be more concerned with time at home. Neil may have a fabby job but from what I remember he was looking forward to spending more family time than working long hours.

Look at the things you enjoy. I reckon you would enjoy them more in an Ozzy summer than a wet UK one.

 

But at the end of the day you have to look at the reasons you started this journey. You need to discuss with Neil what direction you want your lives to go and do what is best for you as a family. I hope you make the right decission for you.

 

Good luck

 

Pete

[ianb]

Sarah,

 

Like you say no one can say the one thing you want to hear to make your mind up. It is only natural to have these feelings, i know i do from time to time. What keeps me going is the thought of when i sit in say 20 years time saying to myself "what if" or "if only". I think at the end of the day only you can decide what to do but be realistic about how hard things will be for the start but as long as its expected to be hard and tough at first it will be easier to deal with. Im sure the people over there will say they went through the same feelings and that with a bit of hard work and time the life is worth all the pain to start. Hope everything works out for you and the whole family

[Guest deanrm]

Hi Sarah

 

I just wanted to say that I think what your going through is soooo normal, can anyone honestly say that they did it without even the littlest doubt in their mind.

 

I am sure it will not last long and you will be surer that ever after it.

 

Your not on your own

 

Trisha

[Guest Tracijbc]

Hi,

 

Take a few days to put things into perspective. Wherever you end up living, it has to be the right place for you and your family at that time. Why not give Oz a try if you are successful and if you find you are desperately unhappy, then move back to the UK. Try renting out your house here first and then you know you have some security here to return to if everything doesn't click into place. You can always sell it later on.

 

Most of all, plese remember that there isn't a person on here who didn't get the jitters at the thought of jacking it all in and moving half way round the world. We are in the final stages and I am convinced now that we will fall at the last hurdle, and the thought of that makes me feel gutted. I think that reaffirms for me that I do really want to go and live in Adelaide.

 

Think calmly and rationally and maybe write a list of all the pros and cons you can think of for both places. Perhaps, as has been said before, it is better to regret something you have done, rather than something you haven't...

 

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

 

Traci x

[Guest Trakki]

I think you are going through waht everyone does. I have a few times asked Pete if we are doing the right thing. Pete doesn't have any doubts and doesn't have wobbles but I do. I think most normal people do! Nuff said about Pete!!

 

I agree with Pete and Ian that you don't want to be sitting here in 10 years time regretting your decision. My mum and Dad were going to emigrate before me and my brother were born but didn't as my dads mum was ill. She sadly died when I was young and when they decided to look into going again couldn't as they couldn't afford it and by then needed a trade and didn't have it. They regretted it ever since and after my dad sadly died at the age of 57 two years ago my mum went on a three month trip on her own to Oz and would now love to emigrate but has to wait until we have been out there long enough to sponser her. I think it made me see that life is far too short to worry about 'what ifs'. Me and Pete had talked about Oz a few times but it was always me saying no but after losing dad I decided that life IS too short and what would we lose apart from dreary cold weather etc. Basically what I am waffling on about and trying to say is look at why you started all this and I'm sure you will be fine.

 

Sorry to waffle but hope you are feeling happier about things soon, once the medicals are over I sure you will be. Look on the bright side you can't get as lost as we did trying to find the right place!!

 

Tracey

[Guest sarahsmartiepants]

Hello Sarah

I have to agree with the rest!

I think once you catch the "I want to emmigrate" bug, it is very hard to shake off. You will wonder now for ever "what if?" Whatever you do!

I cant tell you what to do,it has to your families choice, we all have different reasons, the main one being for the kids, which IMO is the best one and the one that is most real.

You could also look at it as a big adventure, one the whole family are in on, not only that but you will be broadening their horizons

Good luck Sarah

[Guest dglamoore]

Hi Sarah

 

The wobbles to some degree do seem to be part of the process that they don't tell you about but we all go through. We had a fantatsic business in the uk and a very good life financially but we have taken a huge step backwards here and it is still hard going getting the business up and going again here....

 

....having said when we watch how much Dawn has thrived here everything is soooooo worth while. Picking her up from school and her wanting to go straight to the beach with her new body board and just play is so good to see The tv is on nowhere near as much as she runs around like a 5 year old should - even I am rarely on the pc now as we are always out and about. Financially we are nowhere near as we were in the uk but there is more to life and I would not swap what we have now for anything and the money side of things will pick up again in time :v_SPIN:

 

Lisa:wubclub:

[Guest Libby1971]

Hi Sarah

 

I think what you are feeling is normal to some extent and all of us have had doubts at some point along the way.

 

We were living in Oxfordshire before moving and we knew that once we left there, it didn't matter where we were, we wouldn't be able to afford to move back for some time due to the ridiculous house prices and so if Oz failed, we were looking at Northamptonshire.

 

For us, we wanted to try it in Oz. If it fails, well, we gave it a shot. And in the meantime it is an adventure for all of us. The kids are having a great time here.

 

I think many people in UK who have yet to come must be feeling frustrated at the exchange rate, the house we could have had in Perth a few years ago is now totally beyond our reach hence the move to Adelaide. I find Adelaide slower than Brisbane (we were there last summer) and it feels less busy and for me that appeals.

 

The most important thing is to keep talking.

 

Good luck in making your decision

 

Libby

[Guest happy-jools]

Hi Guys,

 

What more can I say to you other than what Ive already said on the phone.

 

There is only you two who can make this decision, and Neil is behind you one hundred percent whatever you decide.

 

You can make the decision, and believe me its not an easy one, as you are where we were a month or so ago.

 

Take your time to think over it, and way up all the pros and cons. Talk openly and freely with each other, and whatever your decision be happy with it.

 

You say Sarah in your heart of hearts you cant go - well if this is really really true, dont look back and think positive thoughts for the future, wherever that may be.

 

You know I want you to go to Australia (not brisbane mind you) but that cant be your only reason for going.

 

Hope your decision is made soon, so at least you can rest either way. You need to call me, anytime.xxx

 

:wacko:

[Guest Blackcat]

Hiya, I have sent you a pm

[Angela]

Hi Sarah

 

Sorry to hear you feel this way but its NORMAL.

 

I cannot give you any certainties to say emigrating is right or wrong but its definitely a bug.

 

Ash would have done it 4 years ago when Thomas was about 2 /3 years old but I could never have done the reccie with him being so young, the long flight etc - I wish I had now & as you know we opted for Queensland / EA & have ended up in Adelaide.

 

I'm not going to compare Australia, but for us we wish we had emigrated sooner. But its not for everyone.

 

$, house prices etc will ALWAYS be a concern but they are in the UK also.

 

If you need to talk email me.

Take care

 

Angela xx

[Guest phil]

hi Sarah

 

I think we all have worries about living what we know , but we to live near Boston and when we first thought of emigrating our reasons for going were our children and what would be around for them when they grow up and leave school which to me is a big worry .

I think all of us have made a big decision to emigrate and leave our families behind but i think its all for a good reason and thats a future for my family .

And its good to ramble

 

Phil, Stacey, Alex 7, Luke 5

[Guest louiesmum]

Hi sarah & family

 

I'm propbably going to say the same as the others. I think these feelings are quite normal, I have definately had those feelings myself but I dont want to not try & live to regret it, I think better to have given it a go than live to regret not having a go, (I hope that makes sense!!)

 

One of the girls I work with decided not to go & she says she regrets not trying. Worse case senario is you dont get on you decide to come back & ok you might not have quite the same lifestyle you left behind but I'm sure you'd still manage(with a lot of work I know!!) And what an experience!! I think you all need to sit down & go through all the Pro's & Cons being as honest as you can!!

 

Wishing you the best of luck:wubclub:

[Guest jen&ian]

Hi Sarah,

 

Whether this is just a wobble or the real thing only you know, but just to let you know I felt just the same as we approached leaving, and for the first two days when we got here, but we and most importantly the kids are loving it now. It's a huge step, but you'll never know if you don't give it a go!

 

Jen:D

[foxychick]

I would have to say that most people have these serious wobbles, I know we did, more than once. It is easy to say if it doesn't work out you can go back, but some people can't, normally for financial reasons.

 

You are quite right to say that rising house prices/crappy exchange rate will really affect what you can do when you get here. Don't know how much research you have done into your husbands job/wages/potential hours, lots of people find they have to work more for the same money. If you feel a strong pull to stay in the UK and feel you could settle there, and all your family agrees, then I would seriously consider it, it is a lot to leave behind.

 

We are settling a lot more now, and don't regret the move, but I still don't know if we will be here forever, the only problem now is we know if we go back to the UK in a few years, there will be lots we miss here too and there is a danger of never settling anywhere, but we had been unsettled in the UK for so long, we felt we had to give it a go.

 

Obviously everyones circumstances are different and only you can make your decision, if you are looking for reassurance only - then come it will be great, give it a go, you won't regret it and you can always go back. If you are really unsure, give it lots of careful thought, it is life changing and not always positively for a while, we are all working more than we ever did before - and I like an easy life me!!!!

 

All the best with your decision.

[Guest Aussiebound]

 

You are quite right to say that rising house prices/crappy exchange rate will really affect what you can do when you get here. Don't know how much research you have done into your husbands job/wages/potential hours, lots of people find they have to work more for the same money. If you feel a strong pull to stay in the UK and feel you could settle there, and all your family agrees, then I would seriously consider it, it is a lot to leave behind.

 

 

 

Hi everyone and thank you for your lovely notes of encouragement and positive thoughts, I am sorry its taken so long to reply back to you all but I have had to stay off this site to get a clear mind of what we really want to do as a family.

 

I have decided to stay in England.

 

This has to have been the most difficult decision I have ever made, as its not just one that affects me. Neil is absolutely gutted, he would have taken the risk, moved around the world and made the most of it if it didn't work for us, as we could not financially come back too soon.

 

I, on the other hand, am not prepared to take the family if I am not 100% sure its the right thing.

 

We have good jobs, and yes neil does work a lot of hours, but he gets paid a load of money for it. It has taken him a long time to be in this position and enjoy going to work (although hours are a bit long sometimes). He would probably be working the same amount of hours in Oz for a lot less money. We are also in a strong position on the housing market and would be able to have a nice house in Lincoln, looking doubtful in Oz as well now.

 

I don't want to go on about the negatives for us and you all are so positive and I don't want to put a dampner on the site. We have taken time out to discuss this in great depth and a move to Lincoln is our future now. We are both sad that the dream of Oz is over for us but also looking forward to our future here.

 

We have made some lovely friends from this site, who we will see in the future.

 

I hope you all get on really well and make fantastic lifes for yourselves over there. We wish you all the luck. I will pop on the site from time to time to check how you are all doing, not sure I could cope without at least a weekly fix from the site, its become a daily habit over the last year.

 

Sorry for rambling and good luck.

 

Sarah

[tina&steve]

Hi

 

Just like to say I know how you feel, I was feeling the same all week the visa business is so stressful. I have had enough I feel life would be so easy to stay in the UK we have good jobs, nice house our youngest has justed started full time school and loves it. We all have really good friends and I would be leaving my older boys 20 and 17 as they don't want to come as have their life here (been hoping they would change their mind but NO).

 

Emailed a really good friend in Adelaide and she could feel my tears and sadness in the email. Then she told me how I was the one who helped her make up her mind when she was having the same feelings this time last year b4 she left for Adelaide. And she gave me the same words I gave her and now I feel a lot better. I know there would be nothing here for our little boy when his older, my 17 year old will have waited 2 years to get his apprentiship and I am in contrace fear for them all the time. I know adelaide isn't a prefect world and is NOT the land of milk and honey but its a better future for us. So we have decided to carry on give it a year then if its not working out come home or look else where and maybe my boys when they come for holidays that will change their minds.

 

But I must just say you are very brave to amit this isn't for you and wish you and your family luck where ever you go x

 

Take care

 

Tinax

[foxychick]

I think you have made the right decision for you, I know it is a very hard one to make and I really admire you for doing it. All the best for your future, the only thing I would add it make sure you make the most of your life in the UK now and appreciate all you have around you. The process makes this happen if nothing else I think.

[Guest louiesmum]

Hi Sarah Neil & Family

 

So you decided to stay in the UK, I wish you & your family well. It must of been very hard for you to decide but you've done whats right for you and your family which is what we all want to achieve. All the best