Guest littlem

The inbetweeners thread - let's chit chat

    Recommended Posts

    Guest littlem

    Morning, just felt like a general chit chat with other like minded people. We got our ss for SA 3 weeks ago and waiting for co to request meds. It's all starting to feel a bit more real. It was my daughters birthday yesterday and had a set of grandparents over, they have always been great about us going, but when they asked when would you be thinking of going and we said nov dec you could see the face change, I then felt bad ad its before Xmas, then the question will we be able to come to the airport?......no way I can just imagine how upset the kids would get just before a 24 Hr flight, oops there goes the face change again:-(. So that's it for starters just wanted to chit chat with people who would probably understand these little bits of the immigration process, we have been at this for 3 years now so it's been no secret what we are doing but I suddenly find myself walking on egg shells, selling how fab the life in oz will be but having to tone it down......

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest ebstar

    Hi littlem.I know exactly how you feel.Most of our friends but only some of our family are fully supportive of our move.We are finding ourselves constantly selling our move.(Especialy to my mum)It makes it really difficult when you try so hard to remain grounded for yourselves and the children.

    Ebstar

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest littlem

    Hi Ebstar

     

    I have lost count of the times i have said it will be a better life for the children, when i get the "so your really going then???? " I couple of times i have felt like saying....no just felt like throwing thousands down the drain and putting myself under tremendous stress just for the fun off it lol!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest The Dimmocks

    We had the same before we left. We flew from Heathrow so people wouldnt come to the airport, I couldnt have coped with a long tearful goodbye. I was sad to leave but also very excited about starting our new life. My mom stayed all of 10 mins when she came round. My MIL was still asking if we were just staying in Oz for 6 months.

     

    Good luck in your application for visa and your move over.

    Michelle x

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest ebstar

    It feels like it's the only conversation we have with anyone.When are you going? Any news yet?Your still here,we thought you would be in oz by now.

    The reply is always I don't know,still waiting,wish we were there.

    My mum has a habit of asking "any news yet" i say no and she follows up(in front of the kids)"good i hope it falls through".Don't get me wrong i love my family but some days the thought of being thousands of miles away from them is actually quite appealing.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest The Dimmocks

    LOL I can relate to all that too with my MIL and mother. Lots of questions that you cant answer as your life is in the hands of the DIAC.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest littlem

    Its all very exciting though even with the off few who make me feel bad about our decision. Theres a lot to do before november . I so hope we get asked to do the meds this week :-)

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest moviemummy

    Hi girls

     

    So reasuring to read all your experiences, ditto to all of it! I loved the comment "spending thousands of pounds just for the fun of it..." Totally get that!

     

    Yes its not just around the corner, yes there are snakes and spiders, yes it's a wee bit expensive to get there - we need to make our own choices and take the step to make our lives better. Anyone would if they could.

     

    How often have you heard " we thought about it but..." "wish we had but...".

     

    Well we are and we should be celebrated for making such a life changing decision. People just don't understand. Sorry for the rant. We can't wait. After so many obstacles and changes to criteria we are finally seeing light at the end of the tunnle.

     

    I wish all you wonderful ladies all the luck in the world and we will meet up at some point for a great big cocktail to celebrate! Keep dreaming.

     

    L x

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest leemina

    Once we'd got our CO we were saying to family it'd be Aug/Sept when we go if we got visa by May, and then we got visa on 17th March and booked the flights the next day. Why then were parents suprised that we'd booked flights for August??

     

    Even though my parents have known that this day would come eventually, apparently my mum had tears, although i didnt see this as i told her we'd got visa over the phone. I'd previously told her that if she was gonna get upset every time i mention Oz then i wouldnt tell her anything and we'd just go. I'd even jokingly said that we'd phone them from the airport .....mmmmm possible idea, lol.

     

    For ages its been "heard anything yet?", "you still going?", and we were beginning to get fed up with constantly saying the same things over and over, but now we've got visa its different. Its now "where you stopping?" "are you not scared?" :nah:

     

    We'd already said that nobody was going to come to the airport as we dont want the kids upset at the beginning of a long flight to Singapore. When father in law found out we'd got visa last week he said "i'll be coming airport to see you off", hubby was adament that no your not, his dad wasnt happy at that, but at the end of the day, and i know it might sound selfish, but its not about them. We want the start of our Australian adventure to be a happy, exciting one, so we're stopping the night before the flight in a hotel in Manchester, so in case the boys are upset they've got the night to sleep on it.

     

    Do any of you have boys, cos mine dont seem that bothered about going yet think it might be a boy thing, what you think??

     

    Great thread

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest The Dimmocks

    We got 2 boys and 1 girl they were 4 and 2 when we moved over so to young really to understand what was happening. Our daughter only got upset when she saw people crying at our house before we left. I was crying but mainly because I could see people were upset not because I was sad to leave, which is terrible to say but we were so excited about our new adventure.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest ebstar

    Why do parents act so surprised when you give them the news of the very slow and gradual move forward? We have tried to keep them fully informed every step of the way to hopefully make it easier for them.The decision for us was made to make our lives better and not to hurt them as they seem to feel at times.

    I have a feeling things are about to get a whole lot harder as i am really starting to feel guilty. My parents foster children and they have just been told the toddler will be moving to a permanent placement shortly. We had then told them about the request to get our meds and p/cs done and hence if the visa is forthcoming we will go may/june.Then yesterday suddenly my grandad passed away.We are all beside ourselves as it has been such a shock.I just feel so guilty that i may be adding to such a stressfull time and don't want to make things more difficult.Our lives have been on hold for so long as we orriginally were expecting to move in may/june last year.As much as i don't want to hurt my mum my children really need to feel settled which feels impossible here at the moment.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest littlem
    Why do parents act so surprised when you give them the news of the very slow and gradual move forward? We have tried to keep them fully informed every step of the way to hopefully make it easier for them.The decision for us was made to make our lives better and not to hurt them as they seem to feel at times.

    I have a feeling things are about to get a whole lot harder as i am really starting to feel guilty. My parents foster children and they have just been told the toddler will be moving to a permanent placement shortly. We had then told them about the request to get our meds and p/cs done and hence if the visa is forthcoming we will go may/june.Then yesterday suddenly my grandad passed away.We are all beside ourselves as it has been such a shock.I just feel so guilty that i may be adding to such a stressfull time and don't want to make things more difficult.Our lives have been on hold for so long as we orriginally were expecting to move in may/june last year.As much as i don't want to hurt my mum my children really need to feel settled which feels impossible here at the moment.

     

     

    Sorry to hear about your grandad that must be really hard for you and your family. Its a tough time. Your family are really important and the dream of the new life has to take priority, well thats what i keep telling myself. My Mum has just come back from holiday to us getting a case officer. Now with my friends i can jump up and down and grin from ear to ear with the excitement but with my Mum I just had to tone it down. She does understand why we are doing it just dosent like it. I have even offered for both parents to fly out with us when we go to help us look for areas and get settled etc in the hope that it might make them feel happier about what we are doing.

     

    I think once we are there and they hopefully see the benefit of life there for the kids they will understand............i just dont want to be one of those people that say i thought about doing that, wish i had done it. I would rather be the one that does it and loves it or says i went to Oz for a couple of years had a great time but chose to come back. We have to go through all this to be able to do that. I hope that makes sense or i am just waffling....big huggs for your Grandad x

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest littlem
    Once we'd got our CO we were saying to family it'd be Aug/Sept when we go if we got visa by May, and then we got visa on 17th March and booked the flights the next day. Why then were parents suprised that we'd booked flights for August??

     

    Even though my parents have known that this day would come eventually, apparently my mum had tears, although i didnt see this as i told her we'd got visa over the phone. I'd previously told her that if she was gonna get upset every time i mention Oz then i wouldnt tell her anything and we'd just go. I'd even jokingly said that we'd phone them from the airport .....mmmmm possible idea, lol.

     

    For ages its been "heard anything yet?", "you still going?", and we were beginning to get fed up with constantly saying the same things over and over, but now we've got visa its different. Its now "where you stopping?" "are you not scared?" :nah:

     

    We'd already said that nobody was going to come to the airport as we dont want the kids upset at the beginning of a long flight to Singapore. When father in law found out we'd got visa last week he said "i'll be coming airport to see you off", hubby was adament that no your not, his dad wasnt happy at that, but at the end of the day, and i know it might sound selfish, but its not about them. We want the start of our Australian adventure to be a happy, exciting one, so we're stopping the night before the flight in a hotel in Manchester, so in case the boys are upset they've got the night to sleep on it.

     

    Do any of you have boys, cos mine dont seem that bothered about going yet think it might be a boy thing, what you think??

     

    Great thread

     

    Know exactly where you are coming from here. We cant book our flights yet but even though i have told them we want to fly on 6 December i know there will be shock when we book it. The airport goodbyes work for some but for me its a big no no. I am going to be far to stressed and probably teary to have to worry about that and the kids getting extra upset. August isnt long how are you doing with your preparations? :goofy:

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest littlem
    Hi girls

     

    So reasuring to read all your experiences, ditto to all of it! I loved the comment "spending thousands of pounds just for the fun of it..." Totally get that!

     

    Yes its not just around the corner, yes there are snakes and spiders, yes it's a wee bit expensive to get there - we need to make our own choices and take the step to make our lives better. Anyone would if they could.

     

    How often have you heard " we thought about it but..." "wish we had but...".

     

    Well we are and we should be celebrated for making such a life changing decision. People just don't understand. Sorry for the rant. We can't wait. After so many obstacles and changes to criteria we are finally seeing light at the end of the tunnle.

     

    I wish all you wonderful ladies all the luck in the world and we will meet up at some point for a great big cocktail to celebrate! Keep dreaming.

     

    L x

     

    Hi Moviemummy

     

    Thanks for the goodwishes, you too how far along are you? It is hard work but we are all doing the right thing. I know it dosent allways work for everyone but i would rather try and it not work first :biglaugh:

    Michelle

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest hel&sam

    each to their own but i sobbed through check in at manchester and didnt stop til i was hafl sloshed on singapore slings, dont suppose checking my text messages in the departure lounge helped!!! wouldnt have been a good idea to have people waving us off like the von trapps.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    I think most people we tell don't believe us and I feel they just nod to shut us up. We have stopped talking to friends about it cause of that and my family are all very supportive. I don't want them to come to the airport neither it would maw it even harder for me and the kids. When I told my dad (who's 70 ) he said he was happy and would

    miss us all but he wouldn't never come to visit as he said he was to old. So then I had the feeling that the day I get on that plane might be the last time I see my dad and that hurts. But I still have to do this for my children and dad understands that. My best mate as offered to come with us when we go so she can babysit the kids for us while we sort things out. This I think would be a great idea. But I would appreciate everyones opinion x

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest helene73
    It feels like it's the only conversation we have with anyone.When are you going? Any news yet?Your still here,we thought you would be in oz by now.

    The reply is always I don't know,still waiting,wish we were there.

    My mum has a habit of asking "any news yet" i say no and she follows up(in front of the kids)"good i hope it falls through".Don't get me wrong i love my family but some days the thought of being thousands of miles away from them is actually quite appealing.

     

    This may sound like I am a complete cow but I personally can not wait to get 10,000 miles away from my family especially the mother in law!!! :)

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest leemina
    This may sound like I am a complete cow but I personally can not wait to get 10,000 miles away from my family especially the mother in law!!! :)

    Oh my god, thats exactly how I feel, lol

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest moonraker1959

    Firstly Ebstar,really sorry to hear of your Grandad's passing.Ok, to the other posters.I always say,expectations are funny things.Much better to keep expectations low,then you won't be disappointed!:cute:So,you're moving 10,000 miles away and you expect your parents to be happy about it?Even excited?The reality is of course,that for alot of parents they are going to be upset,and who can blame them really?Before anyone comes down heavy on me,I've been on both sides.Firstly aged 9,emigrating from the UK to Adelaide years ago,then I decided to move back to the UK with my aussie kids 10 years ago.Yes I can remember as a child the going away "do".I did'nt totally understand of course what everyone was feeling,but just looking at aunties/uncles crying said it all.So years later I then tell my Mother that I myself am moving back to the UK and taking 2 of my 3 kids with me(one of my kids were adopted at birth in SA and we met 2 years ago)She was devastated and yes I felt bloody guilty.I did keep my plans low key,and kept the excitement to myself and the kids.Its only natural that people will be upset.They're going to miss you alot!As I have said before,no one has kids and then expects them to be living on the other side of the planet.As a parent,you have visuals of your kids when they're older.Family gathering,celebrations,you just don't expect your kids not to be there.My son lives in SA and to say I miss him would be an understatement.Every time we get off the phone/skype I feel like crying.Its easy to become wrapped up in your plans,and you are entitled to do this of course,but please spare a moment for the people you are leaving behind and show some compassion.My daughter has two daughters,and only lives 200 miles from me.I've only seen my granddaughters and daughter about 3 times in the last 4 years,due to her partner isolating her from us.So I can well imagine the thoughts going through some of your parents minds about not seeing you.It hurts like hell.Yes their lives will go on,just like yours,but they'll more than likely always feel like something is missing.Be glad they love you so much,and stay in touch.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest helene73
    Oh my god, thats exactly how I feel, lol

     

    Sooooo glad I aren't the only one :) lol my mum only lives 18 miles away and I only ever see her when she wants something like her hair doing! As for the dragon of a mother in law she has made my life hell for 18 years and never seeing her wouldn't bother me one little bit, and there's no chance of her ever coming to visit she dose not like flying, so life in oz will be heaven :)))))))

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest moviemummy
    Hi Moviemummy

     

    Thanks for the goodwishes, you too how far along are you? It is hard work but we are all doing the right thing. I know it dosent allways work for everyone but i would rather try and it not work first :biglaugh:

    Michelle

     

     

    Firstly, ebstar so sorry for your loss.

     

    Michelle hi, my OH is meldrew9799. He was spending so much time on the forum I felt left out! I love this thread, makes me feel normal.

     

    L x:jiggy:

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest nic-manchester

    Just seen this thread and its ace, been chuckling to myself reading it all thought i was the only one, don't we all.

     

    Still waiting for our SS to come through but I know its the right choice to make, we are fortunate to have one set of supportive parents and one borderline, and I have a great MIL. I just feel horrible taking the children from their nanna's but I hope in time they will thank us for it.

     

    Good luck with everyone's moves hope they are successful x

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now