council complaints (adults)

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    Apparently, these are genuine clips from British Council flat tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their flats!!!


    1) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has

    fungus growing in it.


    2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't

    take it anymore.


    3) It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.


    4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my

    knob off.


    5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put

    his foot in the hole in his back passage.


    6) And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my



    7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.! I

    think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.


    8) My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?


    9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.


    10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped

    and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.


    11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen


    12) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain



    13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.


    14) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is



    15) Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour &

    not fit to drink.


    16) I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at

    6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.


    17) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is

    unsightly! And dangerous.


    18) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third

    so please send someone round to do something about it.


    19) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do

    something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.


    20) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my



    sorry if its too blue mods remove if offensive

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