The Flinns

Sad Story of A Ping Pong POM

    Recommended Posts

    Guest Squareman

    I guess depression is a disease, but I battle to find compassion for those who commit suicide as I think its a very selfish thing to do. How bad could his life really have been for him to regard this as a solution? You have to feel it for his loved ones.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    I agree. Moving to start a new life in a different country is not easy and it is not for everyone. The trouble is a lot of TV programs make out that life is easy in Australia and you sit on the beach, buy a 4X4, get a swimming pool and life is all rosey, which of course it is for some, but not for others.

     

    We knew of a family that moved to Portugal and bought a bar, they went on TV everything looked great for the cameras, but a year or so later they had spent their life savings, the business was doing badly, the family members had all fell out and the parents returned to the UK in their 60's with no money, no house (they sold it to fund buying the business), and had to return to work.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Squareman

    I love those shows! I find it amazing how people just plunge into things with no knowledge whatsover of what they are in for. I remember this one bloke who bought a 'castle' in Spain, using every cent he had, so that he and his wife could start a fancy B&B. He bought the 'castle' online using a local real estate agent. When the family packed up and got over there, they were met with the REMNANTS of an old castle - literally a building in ruins. The pic on the internet was actually an artists impression of what the restored building COULD have looked like. What a plonker!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    I guess depression is a disease, but I battle to find compassion for those who commit suicide as I think its a very selfish thing to do. How bad could his life really have been for him to regard this as a solution? You have to feel it for his loved ones.

     

    You're right that depression is an illness and, as such, I find it hard to understand your lack of compassion. The guy had obviously been affected by the whole upheaval of moving to the other side of the world, the upheaval of moving his entire family back to the UK, the collapse of his business and subsequent return to Australia to give it another go, his home sickness and the death of his mother which had tipped him over the edge. The guy's mind must have been all over the place. That said, I feel truly sorry for his wife and daughters who have suffered all of the above and now have to cope with his suicide. Tragic.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    I guess depression is a disease, but I battle to find compassion for those who commit suicide as I think its a very selfish thing to do. How bad could his life really have been for him to regard this as a solution? You have to feel it for his loved ones.[/]

     

    I think when someone contemplates suicide -and not suicide as a way of asking for help- they truly cannot imagine any other way out. This guy must have been so incredibly low, lost and alone that suicide seemed the only way to end his misery and the misery he might have felt he was causing his loved ones.

     

    That is only my opinion and I am only stating it because the post sounded a little dismissive of the man's suffering. I think families dealing with suicide need our acceptance and understanding, not sympathy. I am truly not having a dig at you, Squareman :)

     

    Ultimately it must majorly suck to move to your dream country then feel it isn't quite your dream...only to return to find your 'old' country isn't quite your dream either.

     

    LC

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Squareman

    I take your point, but lets agree to disagree.

     

    I guess, coming from Joburg, you tend to get a bit thick-skinned. hehe

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Hi

     

    What a sad story . I have suffered from depression and i am not ashamed to admit it .Still from time to time i get really low .Some times i wonder if moving to Australia was the right thing to do and if it was right for the whole family . We made a choice as a family to move to Australia and now me and my Ex wife are separated in a foreign country .

    Nothing can prepare you for what is going to happen or how you feel when you move here .Sometimes i wake up and think im still in the Uk ,sometimes i wish i still was there . But in my heart of hearts i know i belong here .Although circumstances have changed drastically .

    Thoughts go out to his family.

     

    Cheers

    Dean

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Roo1

    Such a sad,sad story. My heart goes out to his family still here in Australia. God Bless them.

    Judi

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Ryan T. Lion

    When someone contemplates "final" suicide (i.e. "this is 100% guaranteed to kill me") then they have to be in a place where there is literally no other answer.

     

    Phrases like "how bad can it be?", "there's always a way out", or "nothing is ever THAT bad" simply do not apply.

     

    These are people where continuing to live is simply not an option. How long do you think it took this guy to get to that stage? How many endless days and nights of utter mental torment?

     

    It has to be so bad that you contemplate it despite knowing what it will do to your family and loved ones - which can compound the issue even more.

     

    Bonafide clinical depression is horrific. You can't escape your own head. Even if the world is full of wonders, they are other people's wonders - because you perceive it all through a different set of lenses. It is extremely cruel when the mind turns on itself, the efforts of loved ones to help can make it even worse as it breaks your heart further to see them trying - which in another cruel ironic sense just serves to display to you what you're missing. It's like watching them banging on a piece of soundproof glass, and you're trapped on the other side.

     

    We're talking complete and utter mental anguish - I don't want to upset anyone, but try to imagine standing on a motorway bridge watching oncoming traffic thundering beneath you and thinking "this is it", drowning in your own loneliness.

     

    Sorry folks - but I genuinely feel for this person, AND the innocents whom were involved with his death (a car and truck are mentioned).

     

    Enough said from me I think.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Hi

     

    What a sad story . I have suffered from depression and i am not ashamed to admit it .Still from time to time i get really low .Some times i wonder if moving to Australia was the right thing to do and if it was right for the whole family . We made a choice as a family to move to Australia and now me and my Ex wife are separated in a foreign country .

    Nothing can prepare you for what is going to happen or how you feel when you move here .Sometimes i wake up and think im still in the Uk ,sometimes i wish i still was there . But in my heart of hearts i know i belong here .Although circumstances have changed drastically .

    Thoughts go out to his family.

     

    Cheers

    Dean

     

    Mate i think if you had stayed in The UK and things hadn't changed you would have been living a lie, we could all live in paradise and still suffer from depression..human nature. And you do belong here, how could i live without your special brand of humour??:)

     

    Simon

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest SusieOR

    Its awful that he was so depressed he could think of no way out... very sad... but...

     

    it is the family who are left behind that I feel sorry for...

     

    & also, the truck & van drivers who hit him on his way down!!! Can you imagine how they must be feeling, completely minding their own business & then that happens, it has to leave a scar that will last them for the rest of their lives!!!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest moonraker1959

    Truly feel sorry for the guy,his family and the drivers of the vehicles.My cousins husband comminted suicide (lived sth of Adelaide)and we still don't know why and guess we never will.Would living in a different country be enough to split your family though?I've read countless stories of people splitting either before they emigrate or sometime afterwards.Would you be willing to sacrifice your own happiness to stay somewhere you felt you did'nt belong?A friend of mine moved to Sydney from the UK years ago,his wife settled easily,he did'nt and so they split when he returned to the UK.Makes you wonder though,is a country more important than your partner/family??

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Carryon

     

    Mate you make me smile ,could not move back to the Uk and leave you behind .You are a great person and tell it like it is .Cheers for being a true friend.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest fatman
    When someone contemplates "final" suicide (i.e. "this is 100% guaranteed to kill me") then they have to be in a place where there is literally no other answer.

     

    Phrases like "how bad can it be?", "there's always a way out", or "nothing is ever THAT bad" simply do not apply.

     

    These are people where continuing to live is simply not an option. How long do you think it took this guy to get to that stage? How many endless days and nights of utter mental torment?

     

    It has to be so bad that you contemplate it despite knowing what it will do to your family and loved ones - which can compound the issue even more.

     

    Bonafide clinical depression is horrific. You can't escape your own head. Even if the world is full of wonders, they are other people's wonders - because you perceive it all through a different set of lenses. It is extremely cruel when the mind turns on itself, the efforts of loved ones to help can make it even worse as it breaks your heart further to see them trying - which in another cruel ironic sense just serves to display to you what you're missing. It's like watching them banging on a piece of soundproof glass, and you're trapped on the other side.

     

    We're talking complete and utter mental anguish - I don't want to upset anyone, but try to imagine standing on a motorway bridge watching oncoming traffic thundering beneath you and thinking "this is it", drowning in your own loneliness.

     

    Sorry folks - but I genuinely feel for this person, AND the innocents whom were involved with his death (a car and truck are mentioned).

     

    Enough said from me I think.

     

    100% agree with what you say!!! Janis (Aberdeenshire/Scotland)

    What a completely heartbreaking story......

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Jason Goodacre

    I've sufferred from depression myself so understand what it's like. I brought my family back to UK last year in a very hasty move. Within a year I became homesick for Australia and came back on my own. I have exactly the same but opposite problem in terms of location as this guy as can't contemplate a future in UK but family wont budge at the moment. Here's hoping things change.

    Edited by Jason Goodacre

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest smit

    All I can Say is that any person who can take their own life like that is in a real bad way, but even without knowing , is a complete selfish twat by screwing his families , his kids and those poor drivers for the rest of their lives............harsh but no sympathy.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Damien
    All I can Say is that any person who can take their own life like that is in a real bad way, but even without knowing , is a complete selfish twat by screwing his families , his kids and those poor drivers for the rest of their lives............harsh but no sympathy.

     

    Mate you are a complete cock to come up with a comment like that. You may be fortunate enough to never have suffered from mental illness or lived with a loved one who does. This kind of stupid comment helps no-one. Someone rather close to me suffers from depression and how do you think she'd feel reading your stupid comment? Perhaps you'd like to come around for a chat with her?

     

    Do you know what it's like to come home from work and find your closest family in complete distress? Yes it may seem selfish but they are not thinking like you or me would. They are not rational and clearly suffering. Show some compassion please.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest katsmajic

    Surviving suicide is truely horrific, those left behind live their lives in torment...

    yes it is horrific and so incredibly sad that the person feels so utterly alone and can not see any other solution to their problem and actually feel they are doing the right thing for their loved ones...but they dont see the torment they leave those loved ones to live through for the rest of their lives...waking ever single day to that horrible reality that they didnt know/see the signs...a person in that frame of mind is incredibly clever and cunning at hiding the signs but that doesnt help the family they leave behind.

    despite feeling sad for the victim and because of the terrible sadness and guilt survivors live with i think people who commit suicide are bloody selfish!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    All I can Say is that any person who can take their own life like that is in a real bad way, but even without knowing , is a complete selfish twat by screwing his families , his kids and those poor drivers for the rest of their lives............harsh but no sympathy.

     

    Uncalled for.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Damien
    Surviving suicide is truely horrific, those left behind live their lives in torment...

    yes it is horrific and so incredibly sad that the person feels so utterly alone and can not see any other solution to their problem and actually feel they are doing the right thing for their loved ones...but they dont see the torment they leave those loved ones to live through for the rest of their lives...waking ever single day to that horrible reality that they didnt know/see the signs...a person in that frame of mind is incredibly clever and cunning at hiding the signs but that doesnt help the family they leave behind.

    despite feeling sad for the victim and because of the terrible sadness and guilt survivors live with i think people who commit suicide are bloody selfish!

     

    I totally agree that they hide their feelings and can be bloody devious but to call them selfish....do you not get it. They are ILL. I know people who have dealt with the fallout from this and yes its truly awful but please don't label the ill as selfish. They are not rational and cannot be aware of the consequences of their desperate actions. They just think that we'd all be better without them and to be called twats (not by you), selfish etc does not help.

     

    I hope that nobody feeling this way after migrating to Oz is reading some of the comments here as we all need support.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest katsmajic

    i am one of those survivors i mentioned so i know exactly what i am saying!

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest Damien

    And so am I, 10 years ago I was absolute rock bottom, but had a great job, house, mrs and baby etc etc etc and couldn't explain it.....can hit anyone. Never once thought of taking my life but can understand those that do. Still have my moments but those close to me suffer illness more so I'm lucky. Every person I know who has suffered from loved ones taking their lives has said they hid their troubles really well, very sad waste.....but not a twat smit.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest smit
    I totally agree that they hide their feelings and can be bloody devious but to call them selfish....do you not get it. They are ILL. I know people who have dealt with the fallout from this and yes its truly awful but please don't label the ill as selfish. They are not rational and cannot be aware of the consequences of their desperate actions. They just think that we'd all be better without them and to be called twats (not by you), selfish etc does not help.

     

    I hope that nobody feeling this way after migrating to Oz is reading some of the comments here as we all need support.

    All I can Say is that any person who can take their own life like that is in a real bad way, but even without knowing

    Maybe you should read properly. But hey touchy subject. I know a train driver who...20 years later is still suffering from someone who was Ill, who jumped in front of him...............and just because I dont agree with you , maybe I should call you a cock!!!!

     

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now