IrishStew

Got the Visa – waiting to go etc

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    Hi All

     

    Please share you getting ready to go experiences.

    --------

     

    As some of you know from the State Sponsorship thread, we decided to tell our family before Christmas, we originally had thought to leave it until after, but when we got our VISA sooner than expected we changed our minds. We wanted to get it over with and give family more time to adjust before it becomes common knowledge when we put the house on the market in Jan DV.

     

    It was one of the hardest things we have done in our lives! We told my only brother on Saturday, as you would expect he was shocked, but told us that if we were sure it was right for us, then go. He obviously was very concerned as to how we would tell my elderly parents and the impact on them.

     

    The in-laws were next, immediate reaction was fine, but as the conversation went on and it started to sink in, they want to know we were absolutely sure we were doing the right thing. Since then the shock has turned into raw pain and they are really struggling and it’s very heart breaking so others pain. I don’t know we can make it easier for them, they will just need time. They were organising a bit of a get together for our 40th, I think they now want to cancel as it will be to painful ( my wife and I both turn 40 over the next few weeks aaagh).

     

    My Parents was the one I was treading most. They are elderly and whilst not dependant on us, they look to us, and as family we are close, as well we live nearby and are regular contact. They are shocked by OZ, but gave a very balanced calm response, with a few tears, but as I have now discovered it’s not the reaction at the time, it’s the aftermath. As i expected, they are struggling now as it all sinks in.

     

    For the first time ever I think my in-laws-might want to do me in!!!!!

     

    I would love to hear from others how they helped their families deal with it.

     

    IrishStew (OH)

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    Its different for us. Hubby is an Aussie so my parents and family always knew we'd probably be heading back there one day soon. It wasn't any great surprise when we told them of our two year plan in the UK and when we plan to leave. My parents being the type of people they are, well, they would never outwardly show me they were upset. I know they are but they also are the first ones to tell us that we'd be daft not to head out there, at least for a few years. My mother was always hugely supportive of my living overseas before I met my husband and is still. Also while I am close to them, we don't live close by or see them more than once a month or so. So am well used to being away from them and they us.

     

    We also told them well in advance as we didn't have to worry about visas and the like. I do think telling them so early has been a good thing because now its out in the open, we can bring it up from time to time (as do my parents) and they have time to put some savings to one side for a few trips out to Aus. And also to embrace technology and learn to use Skype and so on. And we want to be able to plan freely, not feel like we are keeping secrets or springing something on them at the last minute. Knowing my parents as I do, this was the best way for us but I realise its not for everyone.

     

    I think reassure them, don't keep bringing it up in front of them, but do talk about it from time to time or let them be the ones to ask questions. Also look into Skype and setting up an account for your parents, even if they have to go to someone else's house to use it, it'll be worth it. Embrace it. Don't make it just sitting in front of the computer talking for 20 minutes, be proactive, especially if you have kids, move about, play games, have the kids ready to show stuff they have done at school and stuff. Make it fun and relaxed.

     

    Other than that, I don't know. People react and deal with things so differently, so what works for us might be no good for you. I think telling them now you might get the backlash of you've spoilt Christmas for them, but I think that is probably perferable to waiting till after and telling them just before you put the house on the market. Also be honest with them, it could be a fair while till you sell up and can actually make the move. So just carry on as normal till you have a definate date to go and tickets booked.

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    Guest Helchops

    It's chaos in our family!

     

    We've booked the flights for July 25th - when are you going IrishStew?

     

    My Partner's parents have taken it well (ish) but are obviously very sad. We still haven't told my parents, but are getting there - we've still got siblings to tell. it just seems very difficult to find the right 'time' as it's not something I want to say, 'Right, you've got to sit down' but I don't want it to be a colloquial thing either, as it is a big move.

     

    We're got a lady who wants to buy our house, but hers is on the market, and we can't do anything as we don't want to go through robbing agents if we can avoid it (we were quoted £5,000 agents fees - I wouldn't mind, but our house is a two bed semi!!) so we're thinking the back up plan is to rent it out - but we'll only be able to take about $17000 with us, and not sure that's enough...as neither of us will have a job, but will be willing to take anything initially.

     

    Lot going on... (rips hair out)...

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    Guest Helchops

    The other thing that is really annoying, is how so many people on PIO and PIA keep harping on about how you need $100's of thousands of dollars to get set up and you need a job of $100K to live...

     

    I keep doing budgets, and I know we're going to need at least $4000 a month to literally survive, but I can't understand where others are getting their figures from! What are other people's plans?

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    Its a hard one.

     

    My family was easy as i only have a sister (scrounger) and unfortunaly dont speak to my mum and my dads dead.

     

    The wifes on the other hand was different. She was adopted along with her brother and her parents are 82 & 74.

     

    Her dad the older of the 2 is upset but has reacted how i would like to think i would react (i dont want you to go but if its what you want then im happy for you). He cant fly so we will basically be saying goodbye for good and its hard to do but there never is a right time with things like this.

     

    Her mum has been horroble though and cannot come to terms with our reasons and only sees our desicion through her loss. Im completly to blame as in her eyes Selina would never have come up with the idea (moving to Aus was Selinas idea) but im happy to take the blame. We complete on the house sale on Friday and do not fly untill the 7th Jan but will be staying with friends in Wales as she wont have us although they have a 3 bed house. Weve tried to talk her into getting internet so we can skype but she is just not interested. The wife was devastated at the reaction to start with but has slowly got to the stage where we think we can do no more.

     

    I guess to a certain extent emigrating with older parents is a slightly selfish desicion to make but that said we have to do what is right for our children and life has many hard decisions to make along the way.

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    Guest eclare

    Irsistew, thanks for starting this thread. I too will be 40 in the coming weeks (end Jan!)...Happy Birthday when it comes.

    Everyone's circumstances are bound to be very different. We started the process in Feb and I had to tell my mum (who is the closest person to us and is very close to my 2 sons) straight away as we needed her to babysit so we could attend the migration fair! That was hard as she is on her own and much of her time revolves around us. But I can't keep secrets from my mum and at that stage it was a real long shot for various reasons so nothing was definite at that stage and my OH wasn't convinced that he was up for it. She was shocked and a bit upset but understanding, particularly as my OH had been made redundant (again!). I think the time has helped her think about her life and how this changes things for her as it will be a huge adjustment not seeing the boys every week (particularly as they are so little and still growing). We are trying to encourage her to come out and spend the UK winter months with us and I hope to leave enough money for most of a return fare so she can join us for her 65th birthday and Christmas 2012.

    My dad (and step mum actually live in Melbourne, so my dad was overjoyed that we were considering following them down under...they moved out 5 years ago). My brothers were happy for us; I think my younger one a bit envious as I think he would like to go but his wife won't consider it. Hard to leave them behind but who knows his wife may change her mind in years to come as my OH did.

     

    OH told his parent when I received my positive skills assessment. Initially he wanted to wait until we had a visa in hand (as he didn't want to upset them unnecessarily), but in the end we decided it would be better to tell them before it was all finalised so they could get used to the idea rather than saying 'we're off to Oz' and it was just a 'maybe' option so hopeful that would avoid anyone getting too upset. I was very apprehensive about telling them as I had no idea who they would react but they took it okay, I think they were very surprised and no tears, so all good really. OH siblings knew before his parents and they were hugely supportive and excited for us. His parents and siblings all live down south and we don't see them often so the impact on them is lessened. Also they have the financial means and time to travel out to Australia whenever they want. Part of our plan is to ensure that we trips back to the UK as often as is practicable (every 2 years?) and we tried to reassure people with this. How this will work in practise who knows.

     

    Everyone else has been very surprised, excited, supportive and thinks it will be a fantastic opportunity for us all. We have not had anyone question our decision which has taken me by surprise...I just hope their combined optimism is well placed! Leaving my mum behind will be the hardest part and I know it will break her heart, but this is for our boys and their future and feel we must give it a go.

     

    Good luck to all those who still have to share the news, I hope it’s not too painful.

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    Guest Adelaide_bound

    On one hand we have been very lucky in that my parents live overseas anyway, so we don't get to see them much - they might only be in Spain, but tbh its a rural area of Spain, it takes about a day door to door when you've added on all the security at the airport etc and it costs a small fortune to go (there's the expense of eating out every night once there as well, because that's what my parents are like), so we only see them a couple of times a year at most anyway really. On the other hand, my Mother is a little selfish and likes to think the world revolves around her sometimes, so we've had a couple of wobbles from her, but as I've pointed out to her, we probably we get to see each other more now, because when we do see each other it will be for several months (god help us!) at a time, and its not as if Australia is another planet, its only a looooong plane ride. I do understand its ever such a long plane ride, but still, its not that much more of a hassle hopefully than Spain in the grand scheme of things.

     

    It does also help that they are only in their 60s and therefore can still travel lots (we are actually meeting up with them within days of landing in Oz as they will also be there on a round the world trip they are doing!), however my father does have some serious health issues that might mean some very serious things happening within the next few years. Having said that, Mum nearly lost her sight a couple of weeks ago as she had an eye op. that went a bit wrong (in both eyes), so it goes to show you never know what is going to happen in life.

     

    My Brother is fine, he doesn't think we will stay (probably because I emigrated to NZ but returned within a couple of months previously). Sister in Law believes we will stay, and is happy, mainly I think because she also desperately wants to go back overseas (has spent most of her life working in quite exotic places really), and can empathise with us. She's said they will def. come visit which is nice.

     

    Hubby's family is a little different - Rob's Mum is acting like she will never see us again, very much 'oh well, thats it then' attitude from her. We are dealing with this by just ignoring it tbh - once we get there and she has another grandchild I doubt she will stay away, but if she does, we will just have to deal with it. His Dad isn't really a part of his life, nor his sister, so I doubt we will ever see them again. Who knows if we will see his Brother's family again, a 50/50 split I guess, but at the end of the day we don't have much contact with any of them apart from his Mum, so whilst sad on one hand, life definitely goes on in that respect.

     

    Personally, I just don't get the concept of it being an awful terrible thing - I watch Wanted Down Under and some of the families on there are just horrid, saying really horrid things on the videos. I get it if you live just down the street and pop in everyday or every other day or something, it must be hard to not have that closeness anymore, but families that I know, where they only see each other every few months really at most, and keep in contact by phone and email - I just don't get what the issue is. Its Australia. Its NOT Mars. They will get lovely sunny holidays and you will get (hopefully) a better life.

     

    Something that was more of an issue for me was talking to my Mother about the fact that both myself and my brother are now married, and Mum expects us to both be as family oriented (ie Mum, Dad, Brother, Me) as always, she doesn't get the concept that we now have our own families really and therefore things change, which isn't really to do with Australia, but about growing up. I guess that's a bit odd for her because her Father left when she was a baby (ran away to Australia apparently - interesting things to be looked up when we get there!), and her Mother, my grandmother, always lived with her and Dad (apart from a couple of years when they first got married), until she died, so its a little different there I guess. I have told her that she can come and live with us later on in Australia, explained how the visas work and stuff and that the balance of family means she will be able to come and live with us, which I think is a great comfort to her (she doesn't really like living in Spain, but doesn't want to return to the UK).

     

    So at the end of the day I come at it from the point of view of - my parents had their choices with their family when they got married and had me and my brother. Now I'm at that stage I feel I have to do the same, and this is what is best for my family. And its not like I'm taking the family to a hermetically sealed box - its only Australia! I wonder how people would feel if people were moving to, say, America instead? I wonder how much of it is because Australia isn't really something we know about, learn about, features in our day to day life and so on, and therefore its seen to be so much further away and more alien that it actually is?

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    Guest Adelaide_bound
    The other thing that is really annoying, is how so many people on PIO and PIA keep harping on about how you need $100's of thousands of dollars to get set up and you need a job of $100K to live...

     

    I keep doing budgets, and I know we're going to need at least $4000 a month to literally survive, but I can't understand where others are getting their figures from! What are other people's plans?

     

    You will manage on what you have, life has a way of working out like that. When I came back from NZ me and now-hubby were homeless, hadn't got two pennies to rub together and things were rather dire. We survived on a weekly shopping budget of about £25, for *everything*, lived in his work unit (naughtily) used the public loos and washed in a baby's bath using water from a heater tank he had for dying costume material. This went on for nearly a year, but guess what? We survived. We finally managed to scrape together enough money to get a flat and things were similarly hard for quite a few years (mainly because we discovered, after the event and despite my checking with the council - grrr - that it basically was an illegal conversion in an old victorian and in great disrepair factory, with an illegal gas supply amongst other things! :o ).

     

    We didn't have a sofa for 3 years, we just sat on an old mattress on the floor, until our next door neighbour did a moonlight flit and the landlord let us take his furniture. Then we moved here, again with little, but with a bit more than before. Now we are moving to Aus with hopefully around $35K. That will last us whilst we travel around (working as we go), and we plan on having around $6K (at least) when we arrive back in Adelaide to go on a rental deposit (we'll sell the camper to get more money back I guess though as well, but then need to buy a car). All the sums we have done have been on both of us working on minimum wage, which comes out at certainly no more than $75K a year. On that we can more than survive and have a much much better life than we have here based on my one teacher's salary.

     

    I know its different when you have a little one, but at the end of the day I think that a lot of people emigrating have a certain standard of life and aren't willing to alter that one little bit. Also a lot of people on forums are, I hate to say it, twits (a lot, not all, just a lot lol - obviously not the people posting on this thread :biglaugh: ). Maybe for them having anything less than a Merc and a BMW, a 4 bed detached house, the latest flat screen tv and 3 foreign holidays a year when they were in the UK was unthinkable - I would say that that was outrageous personally, and therefore my expectations on life in Oz reflect that. Whenever I see posts like that I want to post - 'well, I wouldn't DREAM of moving on less than $1 Million and unless I was offered a job with a salary of $1.5mil a year.....plebs' because it just winds me up. If you get an unfurnished place you can get lots of furniture from Gum Tree, garage sales and from what other people are throwing out, for very little. You can buy stuff from Ikea, which isn't that much, and places like Fantastic Furniture do really good bundle deals on things.

     

    I've been about as low as you can in the UK, and I think I would much rather be homeless in Australia than the UK :biglaugh: so it can't really get as bad as it was here for us imho :wink:

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    Completely agree, you spend what you earn and if you are not earning it its amazing what you can get by on.

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    You will manage on what you have, life has a way of working out like that. When I came back from NZ me and now-hubby were homeless, hadn't got two pennies to rub together and things were rather dire. We survived on a weekly shopping budget of about £25, for *everything*, lived in his work unit (naughtily) used the public loos and washed in a baby's bath using water from a heater tank he had for dying costume material. This went on for nearly a year, but guess what? We survived. We finally managed to scrape together enough money to get a flat and things were similarly hard for quite a few years (mainly because we discovered, after the event and despite my checking with the council - grrr - that it basically was an illegal conversion in an old victorian and in great disrepair factory, with an illegal gas supply amongst other things! :o ).

     

    We didn't have a sofa for 3 years, we just sat on an old mattress on the floor, until our next door neighbour did a moonlight flit and the landlord let us take his furniture. Then we moved here, again with little, but with a bit more than before. Now we are moving to Aus with hopefully around $35K. That will last us whilst we travel around (working as we go), and we plan on having around $6K (at least) when we arrive back in Adelaide to go on a rental deposit (we'll sell the camper to get more money back I guess though as well, but then need to buy a car). All the sums we have done have been on both of us working on minimum wage, which comes out at certainly no more than $75K a year. On that we can more than survive and have a much much better life than we have here based on my one teacher's salary.

     

    I know its different when you have a little one, but at the end of the day I think that a lot of people emigrating have a certain standard of life and aren't willing to alter that one little bit. Also a lot of people on forums are, I hate to say it, twits (a lot, not all, just a lot lol - obviously not the people posting on this thread :biglaugh: ). Maybe for them having anything less than a Merc and a BMW, a 4 bed detached house, the latest flat screen tv and 3 foreign holidays a year when they were in the UK was unthinkable - I would say that that was outrageous personally, and therefore my expectations on life in Oz reflect that. Whenever I see posts like that I want to post - 'well, I wouldn't DREAM of moving on less than $1 Million and unless I was offered a job with a salary of $1.5mil a year.....plebs' because it just winds me up. If you get an unfurnished place you can get lots of furniture from Gum Tree, garage sales and from what other people are throwing out, for very little. You can buy stuff from Ikea, which isn't that much, and places like Fantastic Furniture do really good bundle deals on things.

     

    I've been about as low as you can in the UK, and I think I would much rather be homeless in Australia than the UK :biglaugh: so it can't really get as bad as it was here for us imho :wink:

     

     

    Hi everyone, :wink:

     

    What a brilliant thread this is! It's so interesting to read how and when other people have told family and friends of their Oz plans, and aren't we all so different! My husband and I could have applied for the independent 175 a couple of months ago when he got his skills assessment back, so pretty much know we are going. We decided to see if we can get state sponsorship though and should find out in the next week (fingers crossed!).

     

    We told our families and friends of our plans the start of this year, so everyone has had time to get use to the idea. My husband had worked in Oz a couple of times, just for a month or so with a previous job - and had just got back 2 weeks before i met him!! So luckily for me, his parents knew he wanted to move there before i was on the scene, as undoubtedly, his mother would have vilified me as the wicked daughter in law who had brainwashed her son into emigrating - even though she knew he would have been long gone by now if he hadn't met me! She doesn't dislike me, but is very clingy of her son (which drives him round the twist sometimes), and use to seeing him fairly often (we live about 15 miles from her), although 24/7 would still not be enough if she could have her way. But neither of us are homebirds, although we do appreciate it will be tough at first making such a big move.

     

    It had always been 'one day' for us, until I was made redundant, and with NO decent prospects where we are, this really kicked me up the A*S to just get on with it - my husband was delighted I was due to lose my job, as now I was as up for it as him! The job opportunities in my husband's area are fab in Oz, and in my area are as amazing in Oz as they are dire in the UK, so we'd be crasy not to go, all things considered. We both love travelling and both feel this is a fantastic opportunity and are also both ready for a change of scene. Life is short we believe and it's a BIG old world.

     

    My parents are fine about it, well obviously a bit sad, but in fact they say they don't blame us and would be doing the same if they were us. I think because one of us has been made redundant, it means family are more 'accepting' of it and the economic reasoning. I left home and moved a couple hundred miles away at 18, which is half my life ago now, and like other people on here, only see my parents several times a year. It will be harder for my mum i think as hopefully grandchildren will not be far off, plus one of my brothers emigrated to North America this year! My parents moved to another country right after they got married, so I guess they know how it can be the right thing to do for your future sometimes. I think people's reaction depends a lot on their personal experiences and outlooks on life.

     

    All our friends are excited for us too - in fact we're not the only one's in our thirty something group proactively making it happen, we've some friends in Oz right now to help them decide whether or not to do it. Lots of people are seriously considering or doing it! I personally feel very lucky to have this option, which is only really because Oz happen to have a shortage of our skills, as otherwise the future would not be looking as great.

     

    We're planning to rent our house out and only moved with personal effects and our cat! We'd think about selling up here in a couple of years when we'd know if we're defo staying or even wanted to move to another part of Oz.

     

    At the end of the day, like has already been said, it's only a day away! I would hate to not go and then regret it later in life when we might not have the option by then.

     

    Good luck to you all - i think we should have a Poms in Oz night out in Adelaide next year!!:wink:

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    Guest Scottish_Mitchells

    Hi, we received our visa in July. We had been out to Adelaide a number of times and as I'm now the wrong side of forty we thought we would get our visa, validate it and if we decided move out when the time was right. Better this than think ‘if only’.

    The minute we got our Visa, the planning started to go, sold our business and car. We couldn’t sell the house so we rented it. We told our family then and everyone was supportive. Now it's only 10 days until our flight and I can see family we meet getting a bit melancholy every time.

    My wife’s parents will visit, my own are getting on a bit and don’t see them but you never know. We are setting up Skype on laptops and TV’s for them and hopefully they will be able to keep in contact this way.

    At the end of the day, it’s for the good of our children and our lifestyle we are going and hopefully the parents and family can support that.

    As my wife’s sister in Adelaide says,

     

    Live the life you love… love the life you live…

    (ScottishStu)

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    Guest RobJ1978

    Hi,

     

    Well we told our parents after we made our first enquiry. First it was my parents and i sat them down and said we were 'looking into emigrating' dad said 'thats ok then...as long as your only looking into it'...and walked away.....mum burst into tears and said she had already lost 3 grandchildren (Sis-in-law had affair but bro took her back and she can't face us now so they moved away) and now we are taking the rest! (talk about guilt)...that was it really....just tears......and blame...and guilt...awful feelig. I no longer bring the subject up and go with the flow. She does bring it up...the last comment was that she think she will only come out the once....i didn't enter conversation about it i just said well see how you feel when it happens.

     

    As for Hubby's parents, well his dad has told us lately that he has broke his mothers heart.

     

    So all in all they are piling on the guilt! BUT we are still there and going through with it. Strangely the more they act like this the more we know we are doing the right thing. My parents have never said how they are going to miss me....just the kids...and it hurts.

    Nic

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    Guest Guest8609

    We got our visa on the 20th of Nov after almost 3 years of following forums, DIAC website and other info... It was worth waiting - we chose really the best time and the SS and visa application went sooo fast and smooth!

     

    The funny thing is that my family's reaction to us preparing for australian visa was 'Yeah, and pigs can fly':rolleyes: My OHs family was very supportive and quite happy as they have some relatives in Australia already (NT and QLD) and they love to go there for holidays.

     

    We picked Adelaide because it was easiest for us to get SS, but also because we researched A LOT and it does seem to be the best place to start family (we're over 30 and want to settle down at last!).

     

    At the moment we are saving money (we spent a bit on... visa for example :) ), waiting for bonuses, finishing our european things... Also we are not in a hurry because we both have nice jobs. But nice in terms of jobs and people, not in terms of money, unfortunately :D

    We will probably go to Adelaide in May - pity because this will mean 1 year without summer. But, on the other hand , short-term properties rental should be cheaper then. Overall - I can't wait to go there!

     

    Our only fear is lack of jobs (Developer Programmer and QA Analyst), but we will start looking about 3 months before planned departure.

    Also I'm a bit concerned about things to do before departure (there is a nice thread on this forum though), especially about forgetting to do something important and making decisions. We already decided to resign from my OHs laser eye surgery - there's simply no time in case something goes wrong. Still it would be good to do all medical things, like fixing teeth, getting vaccinations for hepatitis, etc.

    I would also love to see Rome before I leave for Oz... Maybe I will :)

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    It's chaos in our family!

     

    We've booked the flights for July 25th - when are you going IrishStew?

     

    .

     

    Thanks everyone for the really reassuring posts - we are not alone! Just to see how everyone deals with the situation is great.

     

    The parents visited us again last night, I can see they are trying to be nice but THEY want to feel at peace that our decision is the right one for all of us - which I fully understand - they are not been selfish, just genuinely caring, which really helps.

     

    HELCHOPS - We are hoping that we might be able to get out around the same time as you Mid/late July, but the house sale is first and that can be slow (believe me Northern Ireland is a lot worse than GB).

     

    Re the income to live on in OZ, It's all relative really. Whilst I think my standard to living is average others on a lower income will think it extravagant whilst those that are of a higher income would wonder how on earth we get by. If you think material things will bring you happiness then you will never have enough. Personally, we are not getting hung up on it, we will fit our lifestyle to our income and hopefully work our selves up from there.

     

    Mark Bishops Spreadsheet is very useful. http://www.pomsinadelaide.com/forum/money-finance/25074-budget-spreadsheet.html

     

     

     

     

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    Guest Adelaide_bound
    Does anyone know what happens to child benefit when you leave?

    Must we inform anyone/Government body etc

     

    IrishStew (OH)

     

    Don't they just keep paying it to you though if you don't let them know IrishStew, and then you're in do-do because it takes AGES to sort out, and as its money owning back to the Government they can chase you to Oz for that one. I know quite a few people who have had to go Bankrupt here in the UK because of child support and tax credits and things being messed up and the problems (and inflexible problems at that) it causes (any this isn't going to be another debate on debt or Bankruptcy please before we start that one again lol I just wanted to show how outrageously OTT the whole system is and how poorly run).

     

    There are issues with telling them too early before you go as well though, as they may stop it before you actually go as well, so get ready to tell them near the time you go, and expect them to keep paying you, have it ready in a pot somewhere to give back if the worst should happen and they muck it all up - forewarned is forearmed and hopefully you won't need to actually take heed of the heads up at all, but if you do, then you have (if that makes any sense at all lol).

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    Guest Helchops
    Don't they just keep paying it to you though if you don't let them know IrishStew, and then you're in do-do because it takes AGES to sort out, and as its money owning back to the Government they can chase you to Oz for that one. I know quite a few people who have had to go Bankrupt here in the UK because of child support and tax credits and things being messed up and the problems (and inflexible problems at that) it causes (any this isn't going to be another debate on debt or Bankruptcy please before we start that one again lol I just wanted to show how outrageously OTT the whole system is and how poorly run).

     

    There are issues with telling them too early before you go as well though, as they may stop it before you actually go as well, so get ready to tell them near the time you go, and expect them to keep paying you, have it ready in a pot somewhere to give back if the worst should happen and they muck it all up - forewarned is forearmed and hopefully you won't need to actually take heed of the heads up at all, but if you do, then you have (if that makes any sense at all lol).

     

    Honest to god...why is everything so difficult with HMRC. What form is it you need to complete to tell them you're emigrating?

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    Guest Guest8609
    Does anyone know what happens to child benefit when you leave?

    Must we inform anyone/Government body etc

     

    IrishStew (OH)

     

    I would give them a month's notice :D

    I know some people from child support agency. I'll ask them and let you know, but probably they won't give me an answer straight away :)

     

    Maybe this will help:

     

    http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/start/who-qualifies/live-work-abroad.htm#6

     

     

    [h=3]Going abroad permanently[/h] 'Permanently' means you are leaving the UK for good, or you expect to be away for more than 52 weeks when you leave.

    You could still get your Child Benefit payments if you move to another European country. The situations when this applies are explained in the sections above.

    You must tell the Child Benefit Office if you or your partner go abroad permanently. You can do this online by using the first link below, or you can call the Child Benefit Helpline.

    Report going abroad permanently

    Contact details for the Child Benefit Helpline

     

     

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    Does anyone know what happens to child benefit when you leave?

    Must we inform anyone/Government body etc

     

    IrishStew (OH)

     

    Dont tell them till just before you leave iirc. If you tell them too far in advance, they stop payment then and there. So tell them a week before. Look into this, its online somewhere the ins and outs.

     

    But yes you do need to notify them. Any overpayment will be clawed back and its not worth the hassle. If they do keep paying you after you leave and you've notified them beforehand simply leave it in the account and send it back asap. And notify them again. Do this in writing so as to back up your case if ever it comes to it.

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    I would give them a month's notice :D

    I know some people from child support agency. I'll ask them and let you know, but probably they won't give me an answer straight away :)

     

    Maybe this will help:

     

    http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/start/who-qualifies/live-work-abroad.htm#6

     

     

    Going abroad permanently

     

    'Permanently' means you are leaving the UK for good, or you expect to be away for more than 52 weeks when you leave.

    You could still get your Child Benefit payments if you move to another European country. The situations when this applies are explained in the sections above.

    You must tell the Child Benefit Office if you or your partner go abroad permanently. You can do this online by using the first link below, or you can call the Child Benefit Helpline.

    Report going abroad permanently

    Contact details for the Child Benefit Helpline

     

     

     

     

    Thanks Lenore, there always some one in the know on this forum.

     

    IrishStew (OH)

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    Hello all - just catching up on threads from the last week and this one caught my eye particularly as this week we have been having the conversation about when we tell my in-laws.

     

    We are currently waiting for SS and OH had stated he does not want to tell them before we have this, however, I think the sooner we warn them the better as for them it is likely to be a massive and traumatic piece of news. His brother already knows (because they are pretty close) and thinks it is appalling that we have not told them yet. Especially because my parents have known since we made the decision.

     

    I have always found it very odd, the differences in relationships we have with our parents. I tell my Mom (and stepdad) everything and knew they would wholeheartedly support our decision and I was right. That is not to say it won't be a killer to say goodbye when the time comes, it will be very sad and I know they will miss us enormously but they are already planning on coming out with us on a visit when we activate the visa so they can see where we will be and I am sure that trips will be scheduled in as often as possible. My parents fully expected us to move abroad at some point as we have travelled so much and always shown an interest in it.

     

    My in-laws on the other hand are far more cautious and conservative people. They moved a vast distance themselves when my OH and his brother were small, from Elgin in the far north of Scotland to the midlands (RAF) and never moved back, it means that they hardly saw their own families at all and became a small unit of a family. I already feel the impending guilt of taking one of their sons so far away. They were clearly worried that this might be on the cards when we returned from Aus in April this year as they straight out asked my OH whether we were planning it. At that stage we were undecided and he said no - but this further worries me about how they will react to the news now.

     

    It is normal for my OH (and his brother) to not tell them anything until as near to the event itself as possible (though they see each other weekly), years ago we decided to move to London and they were the last to know, about a week before we actually left. I don't really get this lack of communication but it is the way they are. My OH is convinced that they will never come out to visit us although there is no reason why they couldn't as they are well off and my father in law is retired (MIL only works part time). But they have never been on a long hau flight and I think the thought of it alone scares them. Also my FIL had a heart attack a couple of years ago and my OH believes this is enough of a reason for them to consider travelling so far completely out of the question.

     

    I have everything crossed that they surprise me and react calmly and happily but instinct and experience tells me that it will not be so easy and as stated in the original post, it may well be the aftermath which is worse than the initial informing.

     

    The other point about amounts of money people take with them was also interesting to me, we have zero savings and no home of our own (we rent) and have just about got the Visa money to one side for when we lodge. We have good jobs but have always taken at least 5 hols a year and completely live to our means, we know that the moment we get the visa we will have to start saving and our plan is to go out there with about $15k - this does not worry me; like Adelaide_Bound above we have survived on virtually nothing at times in the past and I know that somehow we will get by on whatever we have. Our pot to take with us will be made up of whatever we manage to put aside and funds from selling everything we have - does it scare me? Nope, life is what you make of it and for us it is more about experiences than how many TVs we own.

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    Hello all - just catching up on threads from the last week and this one caught my eye particularly as this week we have been having the conversation about when we tell my in-laws.......

     

    Hi aliogilive

     

    Thanks for your post. I think when you tell, it all depends on the individual. Your in laws sound a bit like my folks, and there are just to brothers as well. I don't think you should leave telling it to one week before you go :-) . Get Christmas over you and then go for it - gently mind.

     

     

    The one thing we have learned is, to expect the unexpected!

     

    We thought my folks would struggle the most, but they have been very calm and thoughtful about it all and have been great with the Kids. Where as the in laws were the ones who reacted the most. At the the time of telling it was not to bad, it was a day or two later that the aftermath began. However, they have all accepted the possibility and one or two are hoping the house doesn't sell!!!!

     

    I think it helped both sets of parents to realise that we had done a lot of research and had thought the thing through from many different aspects.

     

    All the best with "spreading the news".

     

     

    By the all, I have now received two shipping quotes Door to Door - just under 5k for a 20ft container (they do all the packing for us for insurance purposes).

     

    IrishStew

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    Guest Adelaide_bound

    By the all, I have now received two shipping quotes Door to Door - just under 5k for a 20ft container (they do all the packing for us for insurance purposes).

     

    IrishStew

    Our quotes aren't sounding that bad now I guess Stew :biglaugh: thank you for that :)

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    Our quotes aren't sounding that bad now I guess Stew :biglaugh: thank you for that :)

     

    Its a kinda expensive way of making you feel better :-)

     

    The little bit of sea between us must be one of the most expensive in the world.

     

    IrishStew (OH)

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    Guest oidara

    Well, in the interests of making you feel over the moon, we have been quoted 10,000 euros from Slovenia! And this is before 2% insurance and 20% VAT!!! And yes, also a half container, not a full one. Feel better now, IrishStew?! :biggrin:

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