sharons dream

Rude replies

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    I very rarely use this site now due to the amount of rude and unhelpful comments made by people. Today I have come on for some advice and opened up a thread and again someone as decided to write a reply that is just horrible and insulting. This is a site for us all to help each other. we are all trying to achieve the same dreams and if we can't dicuss these issues on here, then we would all struggle. If you want to be rude and down right offensive do it to people's face and not on an Internet socialising site. let's share our experiences good or bad and help each other.

     

    Sorry for the rant

    Sharon

     

    Ps these are my opinions and no one eles.

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    Sometimes people do post unhelpful and uncalled for comments. I think I know the thread in question. It was one reply and the person got short shifted by a few people. You are right, it doesn't help. However, in the forums defence, its about the only post I've come across of late that has been in that sort of tone. For the most part people have been helpful, decent and given help and support.

     

    I don't get that people say this sort of thing puts them off posting on the forum as I post here on a regular basis and I'm reading the same threads as everyone else but I'm not seeing masses of mean, unhelpful or rude replies. Mostly I see people being decent, helping and offering advice or their thoughts. OK, sometimes people don't agree on things, but that is just how it goes, we don't always see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean because some people post an opinion or advice others don't like or agree with its a bad forum or the forum isn't a pleasant one.

     

    I don't agree with your opinion on the state of the forum nor am I put off in the least posting here but that doesn't mean I am slating you for it or calling you names or being mean in reply. I am just replying with my thoughts. Its a conversation in type :) I think you have some good points and agree the forum is about helping each other and supporting people and so on. Its not a place for negativity or meanness and other things but they do creep in from time to time, as they do anywhere in life. Don't let the odd person get you down I reckon. There are far more decent people posting here than there are grotty grumpy ones.

     

    If things annoy/offend or are rude you can always report the post in question so mods can have a look at it and see if it needs moderating. Its the little '!' inside a triangle, the bottom left hand side of a post. From a mod POV we would far rather people report posts that they find offensive or rude than start a thread to complain about them :cute::tongue:

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    Guest Adelaide_bound

    Just wanted to chip in too - I'm a member of many many internet forums over the years, and I think this is the friendliest, nicest and least 'snippy' forum I've ever been a member of - tbh that includes other Poms sites as well. IMHO I get the impression because a) Adelaide attacks a generally more laid back, calmer, more mature and all round good egg type person than others and this being all about Adelaide (and SA) those kind of people come here and b) pure luck that its a nice place. I could be biased and say its because the Mods are so good :biglaugh: (although most of us don't have to do much, so its not that true lol)

     

    If you think this site is bad, really really don't go to a couple of the other sites - one in particular springs to mind where if you aren't a long standing member of several years membership you will be insulted no matter what you type, told you are wrong (by people who don't actually know as their experience of the process was many many years ago now) and generally is just a very unwelcoming place. On the contrary here, I believe, people are generally very polite if they feel they do have to correct someone and very gentle with their words. But no-where is 100% and this is a public forum where we don't pre-vet the members or threads pre-posting, the only way to combat this in the rare instances it does happen, as Snifter says, is to contact a mod and ask us to look into it and deal with it - we are more than happy to do so, but it is possible that sometimes something might slip through the net (not likely with some of the eagle eyes on the team but still - human :) ) so just report away - if people don't report things, we can't deal with them sometimes iyswim, and reporting something doesn't have any implications for you (or them nec. if its a mistake or something) so don't be afraid to give it a go.

     

    Sorry that you feel you don't want to use the site any longer, that is a shame especially as you have been through the process and therefore may be able to offer others advice and help, however if you feel its not the place for you then you must do what you feel happiest with :) Best wishes :)

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    Personally i think this forum is very friendly. Its moderated very mildly and in general nothing really gets posted that has to be removed.

    I think we all have to understand we are a forum of different people with different views and sometimes we dont like or agree with difeerent peoples posts. Personally i think thats a good thing though as the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same.

     

    But in all fairness there is not to much atall on this forum that is below the belt in my opinion.

     

     

    Chris.

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    Guest eclare

    I have, on occasion found unhelpful or rude posts (direct and indirect) and it is off putting and frustrating that a simple question can into something rather ugly. It think it is the nature of web based media (email included). I have found the rude comments to be few and far between but I do agree with Sharon's sentiment thats its just unnecessary and very unhelpful when your just looking for a bit of help at what is likely to be the most stressful time of your life! It's not differing points of view that wrangle, its the comments that add not value to the thread and appear to be antagonistic...if you have nothing positive to add to a thread why comment?!

     

    That said, I hope it doesn't put you off completely as I'm sure you and many of us have found this to be a very useful forum, whether you are active daily, or just dipping in from time to time. The vast majority of members on here come across as very decent folk who are generous in sharing experiences, I hope you feel you can still participate. Good luck.

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    Rude replies are part and parcel of online forum. You will find it difficult to find a forum which is without it. I guess we need to just tread past those replies and just take the good and helpful ones.

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    I agree, I sometimes see some rude replies and I don't know whether it's because I just switch off and move on to something more positive or that people have moderated their behaviour because of other forum members' (be it moderator or member) response that it is "not on". Also at times I just read it as just having a different opinion and there isn't anything wrong with that either as long as people get the tone right. It's really hard for some people to get the tone right in a forum without causing offense. Heck sometimes I read things and don't see it as offensive but realise someone else has and then I start to see it differently too. I also think the moderators do a good job and they are definitely needed.

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    Hi again, my thread was not to start trouble but to remind us all on how good and helpful this site really is. I understand that my moan was for only a few members and that the majority of us are all friendly and true. I did also state that it was only my opionion and no one eles. I'm sorry if I have offended my honest pals and of you needed any advice I would be only to happy to help.

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    Hi again, my thread was not to start trouble but to remind us all on how good and helpful this site really is. I understand that my moan was for only a few members and that the majority of us are all friendly and true. I did also state that it was only my opionion and no one eles. I'm sorry if I have offended my honest pals and of you needed any advice I would be only to happy to help.

     

    I don't think you have anything to be sorry about. I think this is a very useful thread.

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    Guest Helchops

    I think a large part of the problem with thee type of forums are there are three types of people:

     

    1) Those that are starting the process asking lots of questions (this was us a month ago!!)

    2) Those that are in aus and love it

    3) Those that are in or have been in oz and want/have left.

     

    The problem is you get a lot of 1's and 3's but not that many 2's!! Consequently, 3's clash with 1's who don't want to hear any of the negatives as they're just starting out.

     

    Regardless, aside from some of the predictable comments about benefits, the weather and returning poms I think this is a really helpful and friendly place with just enough members to be an active community, but not so much that posts get lost.

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    Hi again, my thread was not to start trouble but to remind us all on how good and helpful this site really is. I understand that my moan was for only a few members and that the majority of us are all friendly and true. I did also state that it was only my opionion and no one eles. I'm sorry if I have offended my honest pals and of you needed any advice I would be only to happy to help.

     

    No trouble caused. And you did point out the forum is helpful and so on. And yes, its your opinion and you are entitled to it. Its not a bad thing :P Stop apologising for it :) The thing to keep in mind is those people that are grotty or post crappy posts are the minority, not the majority.

     

    As I said though, if a post bothers you enough you are annoyed or upset by it or some such, hit the report button and the mods can take a look at it. Best course of action all round in that respect for the dodgy posts :)

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    I think a large part of the problem with thee type of forums are there are three types of people:

     

    1) Those that are starting the process asking lots of questions (this was us a month ago!!)

    2) Those that are in aus and love it

    3) Those that are in or have been in oz and want/have left.

     

    I don't really fall into any of those :tongue: But I am in the UK planning to move to Aus.

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    Guest Helchops
    I don't really fall into any of those :tongue: But I am in the UK planning to move to Aus.

     

    No I know; there are always exceptions to my rule!!! You know what I mean though! When are you planning to move?

     

    (pssst...I've wanted to ask what all the achievements and stuff are on the LH side of my screen...is there a FAQ I've missed?! I want more points!!)

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    No I know; there are always exceptions to my rule!!! You know what I mean though! When are you planning to move?

     

    (pssst...I've wanted to ask what all the achievements and stuff are on the LH side of my screen...is there a FAQ I've missed?! I want more points!!)

     

    We'd probably be there tomorrow but are hoping to have another baby here for certain reasons before we head on over. We've had a few setbacks in that area.but are hopeful things will work out.

     

    The new achievements thing, I'll go dig up a link to it that explains it far better than I ever could :P

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    I always think of the forum as a bit like my local pub. Yes, there might be a couple of idiots sitting at the bar, chipping into conversations to add their two-penn'orth, which is sometimes less than helpful but lets them feel involved. Sometimes they have something useful to contribute, sometimes they don't, but on the latter occasions it's easier to let them have their say and ignore it whilst the conversation turns to those with more useful answers to make. The bar tenders (us Mods) will step in if asked but generally just keep an eye on procedings to make sure no-one starts breaking glasses or throwing punches, and occasionally we have to ask the Landlord (site owners) to step in to break up a fight, but generally the pub is filled with a mix of all sorts, good and bad, with different senses of humour, different viewpoints, different areas of expertise, so if you ask a question in the pub, hopefully someone who can really help will hear it and offer their assistance. The one thing the unhelpful comments do contribute is to keep that topic of conversation active, so that hopefully more people in the pub will hear about it, and the chances of getting a good and helpful reply will increase!

     

    Now, whose round is it?

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    You're at the bar Diane, I thinks it's yours......personally we live here, and love it......still taking each day as it comes, and learning new things all the time......

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    I think a large part of the problem with thee type of forums are there are three types of people:

     

    1) Those that are starting the process asking lots of questions (this was us a month ago!!)

    2) Those that are in aus and love it

    3) Those that are in or have been in oz and want/have left.

     

    The problem is you get a lot of 1's and 3's but not that many 2's!! Consequently, 3's clash with 1's who don't want to hear any of the negatives as they're just starting out.

     

    Regardless, aside from some of the predictable comments about benefits, the weather and returning poms I think this is a really helpful and friendly place with just enough members to be an active community, but not so much that posts get lost.

     

    I think you've made a good point with that, but I also think there are quite a few in the 'neither love it or hate it' category, who have made the move because it's something they decided to do without being gushy about SA's attractions or feeling that the UK has gone to the dogs.

     

    Being in this middle camp means that some things they post about SA/UK are positive and some things negative, but because they don't have a partisan position some others struggle with their point of view. I know I've had responses over the years along the lines of 'ah but you once wrote ... so I thought you hated/loved it here' as if proving I've changed my position, whereas the reality is I was giving a view on something specific, and this shouldn't be seen as an example of how I feel generally about the place.

     

    I do think the disagreeable side of this site is still very much a minority, but I also think it's not as friendly a place as it once was and I can understand why some long-standing members have recently decided not to continue posting (incidentally, I also think that one or two other long-standing members can sometimes be the most disagreeable on here!)

     

    Jim

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    Guest Jo&Phil

    I expect some replies aren't meant rudely ... it's just that it can be quite difficult to guage the tone in postings. A reminder to us all to read carefully what we write before hitting 'post'.

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    This is a very helpful forum which we found invaluable whilst preparing for our big move. The comments i have no time for are sarcastic personal jibes. There is a vast pool of information here and if people insist on making inappropriate comments they will alienate themselves and consequently miss out the a golden opportunity for gathering information. So for those about to make the move, be nice, i am here you're not.

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    Guest ladyarkles

    There are two really good rules to live your (on-line) life by:

    1) Treat others with the respect with which you, yourself, would like to be treated.

    and

    2) If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

     

    This is a great way to approach making a contribution to any forum.

     

    ~ Rachel

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    I must say this site has got better, it use to have some silly people on here. When it get like that I log off and think its only a forum. Some people have different humour my hubby put a silly thread on here once a joke about people whinging (which there was a lot of it at the time) most took the joke and joined in but there is always one that thinks different and got really silly over it. If you get a silly poster just make out you haven't seen the post act like its not there and if its nasty hit the report button :).

     

    And you have no reason to be sorry about your thread :)

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    Guest BrianS

    As someone I know always says "it's the Internet, get over it".

     

    That's not meant in a rude or nasty way at all mind you but it's true,

    as Diane said a forum is very much like a pub, social club etc etc there are lots of people using it and every now and again there is and are always a few that upset the apple cart, I do agree however that typing on a pc / phone to write something is a bit ambiguous when it comes to deciphering the tone and context as to how the reply was meant.

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    Guest katsmajic

    mmmm but when its the bar staff upsetting the apple cart your pretty stuffed and dont want to go to that pub any more...do you....

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