cormcvcr

Wee Jock

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    Teacher: "Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to have

    >>a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have

    >>Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

    >>Wee Jock thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ma general

    >>knowledge stuff. This is gonnae be a dawdle, come on ya radge, a lang

    >>weekend fir me."

    >>

    >>Teacher: "Right class, who can tell me who said. "Don't ask what your

    >>country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"

    >>Wee Jock shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air.

    >>Instead however, teacher looks round & picks Richard at the front.

    >>"Yes, Richard?"

    >>Richard (in a very English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy -

    >>inauguration speech 1960.

    >>"Teacher: "Very good Richard. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we

    >>will see you back in class on Tuesday.

    >>

    >>The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even more determined.

    >>Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them

    >>in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?"

    >>Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting "I know. I know.

    >>Me Miss, me Miss "

    >>Teacher looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:

    "Yes Timothy."

    >>Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is

    >>Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."

    >>Teacher: "Very good Timothy , you may stay off Friday and Monday and come

    >>back to class on Tuesday."

    >>

    >>The following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper, he's been

    >>studying encyclopaedias all week and he's ready for anything that comes.

    >>He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in anticipation.

    >>Teacher: "Who said One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"

    >>Wee Jock's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,

    >>jumping up and down screaming "Me miss. Me miss. I know, I know.

     

    Me Miss, me miss, meeeeee"

    >>Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front.

    >>"Yes Rupert."

    >>Rupert (In a frightfully, frightfully,ever so plummy English

    >>accent):

    >>"Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong 1969, The first moon landing."

    >>Teacher: "Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come

    >>back into class on Tuesday."

    >>At which point Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, he tips his desk and

    >>throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming "Where the f *ck did

    >>all these English ba**ards come from?"

    >>Teacher looking round the class, angrily: "Who said that"?!!

    >>Wee Jock grabs his coat and heads for the exit, "Bonnie Prince Charlie,

    >>Culloden, 1746. See yeh on Tuesday ya old cow!."

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    Guest Guest1435

    Hi there , they are very funny jokes - will be sure to show my hubbie:biglaugh:

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