Guest RobJ1978

Parent's aren't coming.....

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    Guest RobJ1978

    ...to our farewell drinks!

     

    They have gone and booked a weekend away, knowing full well it is our drinks weekend. Mum said that they didn't want to come to our drinks so they have booked the trip. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I said well thanks for the support...and she said don't be like that!

     

    I guess now i feel like they feel like everyday. Just feel really let down by them....we live in a little village and everyone will know that they dont support the move....its come as such a shock, especially after everything i have helped them through.

     

    :sad::sad:...and now i can't find the face that cries!

     

    Nic.x.

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    Guest SA Great

    Well it sounds like you have made the right move to emigrate then! Its probably just their way of dealing with it. Distance themselves. It happened with my mother in law.

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    Guest BrianS

    Letting people is the hardest thing, if that's how they want to deal with it then that is their choice, maybe a big drinky going away party isn't for them. Maybe see if a separate goodbye thing would be better?

     

    You are embarking on an adventure and maybe they realise what they are losing and are finding it difficult. As you may well be also,

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    It might be the public going away thing isn't for them. Even if they are supportive, maybe its a step to far for them to be able to come along and have a good time to see you off. OK so farewell drinks don't mean massive party but they may struggle to contain their feelings or feel overwhelmed by the finality of it all.

     

    I'd not be too hard on them or feel let down. I'd probably not even invite my parents to something like that (although a going away thing isn't my bag anyways so we'd not do it anyways) but keep it for friends and workmates. I'd maybe have a family lunch for close family and keep it more private and intimate. And not make a thing out of it. It can be hard having to sit through that sort of thing when your heart is breaking or you are feeling awful about seeing your loved ones leave.

     

    Don't beat yourself up over it, but do try to understand where they are coming from and how hard it must be for them also. I can see both sides and honestly hope you don't let it cause friction. Just be understanding and give them their space and make sure you have some time with them quietly.

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    Aw Nic, my heart goes out to you. You must feel awful. Sending you a great big hug... They are probably devastated you are leaving and can't handle it. We haven't told my parents yet we're planning to leave as they will be heart broken, and will probably react in much the same way as yours. I wish I could give you some great advice but all I can say is, weather the storm, they will come to terms with it. Thinking of you today.

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    Guest RobJ1978

    Thanks guys.

     

    We aren't having a party, we are just letting people know we will be in our local from a certain time and kids entertainment will be there from whatever time. People might not even turn up! ha ha ha.

     

    We are going to live at my parents for a month before we go so it isn't as though we won't be spending time with them i just felt that they could have come to show that they supported us and that we were leaving with their blessing. But i guess just cos they aren't coming doesnt mean they dont support us....they are putting us up, after all!

     

    It won't feel right without them their though...these are our family friends that will be there and the pub locals (as we live in a little village we all know each other).

     

    I do feel disappointed, but i also get what your saying about them showing support in other ways, and that this could just be one step to far.

     

    Nic.x.

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