Kids terrible behaviour

[Guest boesman]

Hi, my kids are all three in primary school and have been in their new school for 3 weeks. Our container hasn't arrived yet so we are still camping in our house. We already got two letters from the school of two of my children who have behaved terrible at school. The one for bad language, hurting another child and bad manners and not listening to the teacher. The other one (in the same week) also didn't listen to teacher, smirking when told off and disturbing the other children constantly. I feel so embarrased and at my wits end with them. They also have been fighting constantly at home and driving anywhere is a total nightmare. Have I lost my good kids in the UK? I am sure they are a bit bored, but what do I do about the school thing? I have talked to them, threatened, made nice promises for good behaviour, but it doesn't seem to sink in? Sorry for the moan, but I felt like i've lost controle of my children. Also, they don't accept the word "no" and can carry on for hours if they want something and we said "no" . Putting them in time out creates an even bigger struggle with the 8 year old getting really destructive (hitting the doors, walls and windows). If she breakes something my husband will surely kill her. Any advice? Will it get better? anyone experienced the same things. We hve been here now 8 weeks.

Cheers

[Rachiegarlo]

I'd say your kids are stressed. It is stressful moving home, it's on one of the list of stresses that can cause depression. Maybe tackle one thing at a time.

[The Monaghans]

I agree, a lot of this is probably caused by stress and anxiety. They've moved to the other side of the world, they probably miss friends and family and possibly they're picking up on your tension. Have you spoken to anyone at the school? Are they able to offer any kind of guidance for the kids, someone to talk to maybe? It must be very hard for them having to adjust to a new country, new house, new school etc so I wouldn't be too hard on them. Just keep talking to them, let them know you still love them and that they can tell you anything, communication is vital. Please don't worry, I'm sure they'll settle in and then the good kids will be back again! Good luck!

[niknjas]

Hi

When we got here, my eldest who was then 6, if you'll excuse me saying it was a right little sod. He was rude, obnoxious, backchatting and constantly fighting with his sister. I'm pretty strict and thought omg what has happened, where did I go wrong. There were lots of tears and I'm not on about just theirs.

It did get better. They just needed to settle and realise that this was the place that we were going to be living.

I can't offer any quick solutions I'm afraid but it did get better. It was slow, but the change was most miraculous when our container arrived as they had their own stuff around them. They are just unsettled and prob doesn't help that some of the kids probably behave at school like that and may seem to get away with it.

Chin up, grit yout teeth and if all else fails, wait until they've gone to bed to drink copious amounts of wine

 

Niki

[nikkinoodlesuk]

have you thought of enrolling them in some other activities to take their minds off being nasty to each other, look at local community clubs who offer dance classes or guides or something, when kids are more occupied they are less likely to mis-behave.

 

not that your expected to keep them entertained all the time, but maybe it could help for now until they start building friendships etc..

[Guest Jennet]

Hi, my kids are all three in primary school and have been in their new school for 3 weeks. Our container hasn't arrived yet so we are still camping in our house. We already got two letters from the school of two of my children who have behaved terrible at school. The one for bad language, hurting another child and bad manners and not listening to the teacher. The other one (in the same week) also didn't listen to teacher, smirking when told off and disturbing the other children constantly. I feel so embarrased and at my wits end with them. They also have been fighting constantly at home and driving anywhere is a total nightmare. Have I lost my good kids in the UK? I am sure they are a bit bored, but what do I do about the school thing? I have talked to them, threatened, made nice promises for good behaviour, but it doesn't seem to sink in? Sorry for the moan, but I felt like i've lost controle of my children. Also, they don't accept the word "no" and can carry on for hours if they want something and we said "no" . Putting them in time out creates an even bigger struggle with the 8 year old getting really destructive (hitting the doors, walls and windows). If she breakes something my husband will surely kill her. Any advice? Will it get better? anyone experienced the same things. We hve been here now 8 weeks.

Cheers

 

 

this sounds like they are anxious to the new change and they have put up a protective barrier, school is very worrying and they do have a different accent which makes them stand out, things may be said to them at school about their accent and with them being sensitive may be affecting them. my daughter is 7 and she doesn't cope with huge changes well and can get upset quite easily so i will be keeping my eye on things. she has already mentioned her different accent and we haven't set off yet. kids are always on the watch more than we think, they pick things up and feed off from it. personally i would take the oldest one out for a walk, ice cream or something and have a good chat with her, you'll be surprised what will come out. they definatley sound like they are still unsettled and have a strong protective barrier around them. you also have alot to deal with, with all the new changes and this is added extra pressure for you but i would take them one at a time and find out whats going on with them.

[RJECSAUNDERS]

We went through similar with our then 9year old. Didn't have problems at school but she certainly made up for it at home. We thought it was probably due to the massive change and I am sure the constant driving around in the first few days didn't help. Like said before, she did start to relax a bit more once our things arrived but it wasn't a quick fix. Thankffully she is back to "normal" now, just have to get through the teenage years now!

[Rich & Chit]

How abt getting a pet for them? That helped my boy settle down but it's up to because that's another thing to look after and if you're renting, you have to ask the landlord first if you're allowed to keep one.

[Guest Jo&Phil]

Oh dear ... that does sound like a right pain in the proverbial. Lots of good advice here already.

 

With my education hat on (though I'm not now in the school system) It is undoubtedly worth engaging with the school by making an appointment with the Principal so between you and school you have a combined / united approach. You don't say where you are living but, if there are other non-Australian (ie: immigrant/emigrant) children at school they should be well aware of the issues of settling in and be versed at handling this. Getting them on side will give you support.

 

I'm sure the children are missing their extended networks .......... lots of people on this site have children ... perhaps you could organise some casual meets ups so the kids have other friends/outlets away from the family and school. I don't have any kids and, while my dog would love to play with yours it might not quite be what you're looking for!

[Guest leeannekays]

How are your children getting on now Boesman? And the other posts? Did things settle down with your children?

 

Leeanne