Guest beth

Stay at home mums

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    Guest beth

    Hi, what is the spilt in Adelaide?

    In the uk i am very isolated as a stay at home mum, seems to be 'oh why dont you work?' - Because i want to stay with my kids?!!! I understand finances play a huge part in peoples decision so its not a debate on whether to stay at home or not as it i personal choice but wondered what it was like there?

     

    My daughter has started primary school and peoples attidudes seem to be thank god they started school whereas i was crying at the gate as i will miss her!

     

    I dont fit in, whats the deal there, same or different?

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    Hi, what is the spilt in Adelaide?

    In the uk i am very isolated as a stay at home mum, seems to be 'oh why dont you work?' - Because i want to stay with my kids?!!! I understand finances play a huge part in peoples decision so its not a debate on whether to stay at home or not as it i personal choice but wondered what it was like there?

     

    My daughter has started primary school and peoples attidudes seem to be thank god they started school whereas i was crying at the gate as i will miss her!

     

    I dont fit in, whats the deal there, same or different?

     

    Honestly, I think the cost of living has increased so much here that most people don't have a choice. In my experience it's quite difficult for a family to live on a single income. That's partially because a non-working spouse is considered a dependent when you apply for a mortgage so without a second income it's difficult to qualify. I have 3 colleagues who are pregnant in my office and most expect to be back at work within 6 months. For me I stayed at home until I moved here and then had to go to work.

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    Guest Helchops

    We worked out we could do it in an income of $50,000 and survive. As it is, we don't want to rent forever and therefore we need two earners, but I can totally understand anyone wanting to be a stay at home mum.

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    Hi, what is the spilt in Adelaide?

    In the uk i am very isolated as a stay at home mum, seems to be 'oh why dont you work?' - Because i want to stay with my kids?!!! I understand finances play a huge part in peoples decision so its not a debate on whether to stay at home or not as it i personal choice but wondered what it was like there?

     

    My daughter has started primary school and peoples attidudes seem to be thank god they started school whereas i was crying at the gate as i will miss her!

     

    I dont fit in, whats the deal there, same or different?

     

    I'm not sure where you live but this is almost the complete opposite of my experience in the UK. A lot of the mums I knew were either stay at home mums or only worked part time hours. I suspect that in Adelaide the attitude to stay at home mums will also vary depending on where you live.

     

    I haven't really met anyone outside my OH's family yet but if it is any reflection the out of hours school club at my kids school has about 70 kids each day. That's out of a school with about 600 pupils and they take kids from the local kindy as well. Obviously there will be kids that are cared for by grandparents after school and some families will work shifts so can manage childcare between them, but that still leaves a lot of kids that are picked up by mums, who may or may not have part time jobs.

     

    I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, mostly cos I haven't got a job yet but I've not really been looking that hard. My preference would be to work part time 3 days a week like I did in the UK, which suited me. I'm not a natural stay at home mum and soon run out of ideas of things to do with the kids. We are managing quite nicely on my OH's earnings and what we get from centrelink so the drive for me to work is partly to pay for the house we are about to build and partly to get me out of the house. Incidentally we have been able to get a mortgage based on my OH's earnings and what I get from centrelink.

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    Hi Beth

     

    Ive always been a stay at home mum since the birth of my second child...although, I worked in the evenings or weekends to help our income. But Ive always enjoyed going to the playgroups during the day with my children and meeting up with other stay at home mums.

     

    My children are older now (12 & 15)...and I do work part time (1 full day a week plus taking care of our rental business (admin/cleaning etc)...I like and have always liked to be able to take and pick my girls up from school and take them to their after school activities. I go to the gym in the mornings and there is a creche there where I see many young mums dropping their children off for an hour or so - so yes, there are plenty of stay at home mums here.

     

    Also, lots of local playgroups...so, you'll be fine

     

     

     

    Sarahx

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    There are lots of stay at home mums here, most on low family incomes but you make the best of what you've got. Lots of things to do that don't cost the earth. I haven't come across any negativity from working mums, a lot actually seem quite envious and would love to be able to stay home too, but everyone has different levels of affordability.

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    Back in England most of the Mums at our village school were stay at home Mums, but we lived in a pretty affluent area of the South East so most didn't need to work for financial reasons.

     

    Where we live in Adelaide a much higher percentage work, there are many parents that you just never see at school. That's not to say they all work, and many only work part-time. I've found that here most people assume that you are working and are surprised when you say you don't, which does annoy me at times. I chose to be a stay at home Mum after my children were born, as I felt I had dedicated a large part of my life to working and wanted to do motherhood properly. I didn't have family who were able to help out with babysitting and couldn't face leaving my baby in childcare all day from a young age. We survive on a lot less money than lots of people, but I will never regret not having spent quality time with my kids.

     

    Obviously my children are older now and I would love to go back to work (ideally part-time), but have found it difficult to get work as I have been out of the workforce for too long and will always lose out to someone with recent experience when applying for jobs. You just can't win!

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    Guest Mrs Vealy

    I have found everyone pretty chilled and non judgemental in the area I'm in......(Seacliff)

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    I got a job when my 3rd child was 2 & 1/2 .. (i worked 2 days in uk for 5 years until we moved here) .. I lasted almost a year, then resigned because I hated my job and I really missed being with my last 'baby' and wanted to be at home with her..

     

    I wasnt that much better of financially after paying for childcard ( even rebates etc) so I couldnt see any benefit in working & being unhappy.. since leaving, I sometimes find it hard to still fit everything in (playgroups.. coffee's, school activities etc) lol..

     

    Im sure I will return to some kind of job when my youngest starts school but for now Im happy not working & although people aked me if Im going to get another job when I resigned, the response I got was 'good for you' !!

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    I think unless your working full time it's really not financially better to work partime and pay child care fees. I'm using this time to re-educate get some extra skills part time so when kids are little older I will hopefully have more job options with better pay, as a stay at home mum I've found plenty of play date invites to keep me busy along with my studies.

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