Why Stay?

[Misplaced]

Having been a member of this forum for a little while now I have often found it of use for many different things but I feel it is the right time to ask, those of you who would appear to be not at your happiest, in Australia at the moment :-

 

Why stay and not move back to the UK?

 

From a lot of responses from you ex-Poms is that you are not happy with Australia at this present moment in time - lack of investment in local employment, too many immigrants, going into recession, high cost of food, high cost of utilities, high cost of housing, poor schooling, bad driving, poor government, lack of investment.......the list is endless.

 

Now I know that it is advice given is as you see it but if it is that bad I ask, again :-

 

Why stay and not move back to the UK?

 

Or are you just wanting to whinge and if so surely any advice coming from a whinge should be given carefully.

 

Cheers,

 

Mis

[minty]

Ohhhh good thread. I know the answer, "the UK is a lot bloody worse".

 

But they won't admit that either

 

But your spot on. If you don't like something then do something about it like we did when we came out here.

 

Whining doesn't help.

[Lily Rainbow]

Maybe people's expectations of a place does'nt match the reality.Disagree that the UK is alot bloody worse.I think depends where you came from!

[Guest LittleMissWildChild]

Agreed!

[snifter]

Just because a person isn't always happy with the current state of affairs doesn't mean they have to or should give up on the country they call home.

 

I think anyone migrating anywhere is entitled to voice their thoughts, positive and negative and they often do. Doesn't mean they are actually hating living there or actually unhappy overall.

 

I lived overseas for a fair while and didn't always like or agree with the politics, employment situation or some such but it didn't mean for one second I wanted to throw the towel in and return to the UK. That I wanted to discuss with others the state of affairs seemed a natural thing to do. Talked with locals, other migrants and people passing through. Discuss the UK in the same way. Doesn't mean I hate living here or think its an awful place.

[Lazy Cow]

Whilst I don't feel I fall into the 'whinging' catagory - and, in truth, I don't know who does - here are my thoughts

 

- There is a difference between trying to make people aware that things may not be as rosy as they might hope and moaning that you can't get (for example ) English fish and chips. If the latter bothers you that much then yes, maybe going back would be a good idea. No one likes hearing their home bagged but then again, who doesn't moan when a new tax is invented, or cauliflowers hit $7 each? Isn't that just what people talk about?

 

- This is a social forum that offers advice, assistance and support amongst other things. Advice does not have to be taken nor does it have to be positive. If there are posts that suggest, for example, jobs may be harder to find at the moment, that is just an opinion. It may be because some posters have more knowledge of the employment scene, have personal experience or simply have been here long enough to perceive a difference. I don't think trying to give prospective migrants a heads up that work might be harder to find is the same as whinging though.

 

- Not everybody leaves their home just because it's getting tough. Many of us have spent most of our kids life here and it's home; where we belong.

 

And FWIW, we loved our bit of the UK.

 

Have a good one,

 

LC

[Lazy Cow]

Snifter, if my post sounds similar to yours it was because I must've been typing as yours was posted!

I probably wouldn't have bothered if I had seen it as a 'like' is much quicker than my lamo typing !

 

:notworthy:LC

[Diane]

Also bear in mind that once you have been here for a while, you have roots. Your children are established at school, you have pets and property and friends here - moving half way round the world with young kids is a very different matter to moving halfway round the world with kids in the their final years of school! For the record also, we lived in a lovely part of the UK, with a lovely house, so weren't moving because we were dissatisfied with England in any way (well, yes, maybe dissatisfied with the weather but that's about it!) - anyone that just ups sticks and moves on a whim because things aren't perfect where they are needs their head examining in my view - it's a bit like marriage "shouldn't be entered into lightly etc etc", and equally like marriage, you don't just split up when things go through a rough patch!!

[sduffy]

"Just go back" isn't always such a viable option, or more importantly an economic option.

 

Migrants may have long term established jobs ,before they leave,when returning new to the employment market may find securing a job is not so easy.The upheavel of returning ,especially with children in tow,disrupting their education etc etc is not an easy decision to make.The cost of doing so for many may be a prohibitive factor.They may have no choice but to stay and try and make it work.

 

 

People have often invested years in attaining their goal and are reluctant not to give it a decent go,to see if things might turn around ,in addition peer and family pressure,to give it a couple of years may have an impact on their decision making.

 

Adelaide ,environmentally is by far a more beautiful place to live,than say the average uk city ,so why wouldn't you want to try to stay here.

 

Dependant on your job circumstances etc Adelaide may indeed offer better employment options than the uk does at present,but it depends on the individual.

 

Moving to the other side of the world is mentally and emotionally demanding and there have been many examples over the years of people making knee jerk decisions and having huge regrets so I think people are more likely to try and soldier on .

 

The longer you stay can often make the possibility of returning no longer feasible,for example your profession or trade may have changed substantially whilst you have been away and you don't have funds for retraining,your children are at an age where to return would disrupt their education.They may for example be due to go to uni if you have been out of the UK for say 3yrs and you wont qualify for student loans,do you deny your child the chance to have the Uni education they so desparately want? I couldn't I would stay.

 

You could speak all day upon this subject ,but as people have said before,one size doesn't fit all.

 

I know a lot of people who Adelaide isn't for them ,for career or health reasons etc,but their children are very happy here,how many parents would want to take that away,when you have uprooted them from their old life in the Uk already.

 

Their may be health implications,my daughter's specialist told me that due to the stress caused by such trauma of returning,the impact upon her health issues could be severely detrimental,especially as she didn't want to go back. Some people have wonderful luck coming here,others everything goes wrong that could possibly do so,without your family and friends network,that is often hard to deal with .Do you want to burden your new found friends with that,probably not,so people come on here to seek support from others who have been through it,where it would be nice if such support was available,instead of often being ridiculed for "being negative"

 

 

 

 

You can do all the research in the world,but bad luck and life issues can intervene.

 

Sue

[xzibit]

Going back costs money. Some people don't have that money.

 

I'm not wanting to go back, I like it here, but some people that don't are actually stuck here due to not having enough money to move back.

[scooterdan]

I have met some ppl that stay just for citizenship..... Then will go back!!

[jim and adel]

I'm sure the OP meant it as a fair question, and the answer is that many people do leave Australia – record numbers in the last few years and rising. The biggest category is migrants who have lived here more than five years ...

 

Often, though, the 'if you don't like it, then leave' mentality is either naive or a kind of intolerance of others' views.

 

In the case of the former, most people's lives are far more complicated than that to be an easy thing to achieve – especially when you've done it already – as all migrants have – and have invested so much financially and emotionally in the process. With the best intentions and decision-making, the unexpected can still happen and life can turn out tougher than people imagined. It's not just people who change; places go through tough times and things that were once a positive to migrants (such as property prices or jobs) can become a more worrying concern.

 

With the latter, people shouldn't be made to feel they have to keep their mouths shut on here about their concerns and experiences, or this site becomes a shadow of the community that its members, the moderators and admin have made it over the years. Those who don't want to hear anything 'negative' can always read other posts, start new threads or even block those members whose views upset their sensibilities.

 

For the record, I doubt we'll be living here in the long-term because SA simply doesn't have enough to keep us here (our seven year old son is already over this place and – having seen the UK for himself a few times – can't understand why we made the move and is determined that he'll be on his way back there as soon as he's old enough to travel alone!)

 

We had a great life in the UK and moved here for the adventure, not because we thought it was better, which is just as well because in no way do I think that it is! Our next move is likely to be somewhere else in Aus or to a different country entirely, again for the adventure. We'll choose the timing of that, not members on here who get easily upset when others don't subscribe to view of life here.

 

Don't get me wrong, this place isn't bad; there are lots of places we wouldn't dream of moving to or living in and we chose Adelaide carefully. I wouldn't, though, move here at this point in time if I had a good job and lifestyle in the UK, but others choose to and good on 'em.

 

Incidentally, I don't know who the biggest whingers are: those facing difficulties who happen to vent about them on here or those who read those posts and make the effort to call the posters 'whingers' ... actually, on second thoughts, I do know!

 

Jim

[Guest mycatiscalledspot]

Can I ask (I'm sure that it has been asked many times before but bear with me I'm new) the people who emigrate here, find that its not really what they want (for whatever reason) return to the UK but then come back here again- what made the UK seem a better option and why when you got there did you decide to come back?

I'll explain my question- we have been here for a while and our children settled quickly and are happy but the adults are confused! It has been very hard going both mentally and financially and many times we have thought of chucking in the towel and going back to the motherland but uprooting our children again seems totally the wrong thing to do! I went back to the UK by myself recently for a family thing and going there was like putting on a pair of comfy slippers but was it 'better' than here as I was in 'holiday mode'?? I know of another family that didn't settle and chose to go back but the UK but they basically ditched all of their Oz friends as soon as they touched down in the UK so have no idea if they think they made the right decision or not! Is there anybody out there who has gone & come back recently and if so why did you return? What was so bad about the UK now that coming back here after deciding to leave was the better option & if you have children did they cope ok?

 

Apologies if I have done this incorrectly but I've never posted before and trying to put down in writing the million thoughts & questions going through my brain is harder than I thought it would be!!!

[xzibit]

I have met some ppl that stay just for citizenship..... Then will go back!!

 

Oh fo' sho'!!

 

I would get citizenship before going back. Cost enough to get the visa, I'd want something out of it all.

[Diane]

Can I ask (I'm sure that it has been asked many times before but bear with me I'm new) the people who emigrate here, find that its not really what they want (for whatever reason) return to the UK but then come back here again- what made the UK seem a better option and why when you got there did you decide to come back?

I'll explain my question- we have been here for a while and our children settled quickly and are happy but the adults are confused! It has been very hard going both mentally and financially and many times we have thought of chucking in the towel and going back to the motherland but uprooting our children again seems totally the wrong thing to do! I went back to the UK by myself recently for a family thing and going there was like putting on a pair of comfy slippers but was it 'better' than here as I was in 'holiday mode'?? I know of another family that didn't settle and chose to go back but the UK but they basically ditched all of their Oz friends as soon as they touched down in the UK so have no idea if they think they made the right decision or not! Is there anybody out there who has gone & come back recently and if so why did you return? What was so bad about the UK now that coming back here after deciding to leave was the better option & if you have children did they cope ok?

 

Apologies if I have done this incorrectly but I've never posted before and trying to put down in writing the million thoughts & questions going through my brain is harder than I thought it would be!!!

 

 

I think you need The Monaghans! They spring to mind as some of the few that have pingponged back to Adelaide.

[Trickyshel]

incidentally, I don't know who the biggest whingers are: those facing difficulties who happen to vent about them on here or those who read those posts and make the effort to call the posters 'whingers' ... actually, on second thoughts, I do know! ......... well said.

well I guess I fall in to the one of the "WHINGERS" group. !! but it is hard to have a beautiful smile when you keep being kicked in the teeth.. so to speak!.

 

The question ....... why stay... mmmmmm ...well the question to me is more......why go..

personally when we made the move, I never thought I would still be out of work six months later.. special as being the main visa applicant. or that the landlord would decide to sell the house after 15 weeks of a 52 week contract or what ever else we have had come our way, but then I never thought it was going to be easy either. Why go.. we cant, we haven't given it long enough. we don't want to, we have come to live in Adelaide and that's what we will do, not every thing is perfect. today its raining and yesterday it was sunny! and you know what, the sun will shine again.

I guess it can be down to what you expect out of life? but you can still talk about the rainy days.

 

I have wondered about the anti whinging, .... like lets start a positive post on "look how great our move/life has been since we moved", or I'm leaving the forum till everyone is happy again. Is it because... I don't like the way that post is going/ the subject.. or has it more to do with. if its not all positive how do people justify to our/ my/ them self's about leaving loved ones or home for the whole better life thing !! if its not in fact all perfect.

 

One thing I do get from reading all the happy posts, on how well people have done..... makes you see how it has changed in 12 months!.

 

A few months ago I was told 7/10 electricians return to England, it did come second hand from some one that should know but you can make your our mind up.

 

oh and this week OH got offered a permanent post... so only 50% chance of showers!

[Anne B]

It's an obvious question but not an easy answer. If emigrating were a business proposition you would at least do a Feasibility Study and a Cost/Benefit Analysis first (and not just from a financial point of view). It is also logical, sometime after you have moved, to take stock and review if it has all gone to plan and met expectations.

 

Life isn't black and white - (it's rubbish in the UK and fantastic here) - but more like '50 shades of grey'!!! For me, some things are better in Australia and some things are better in the UK. If we did a cost benefit analysis now, I'm not sure what I would conclude. Even though I had lived in Adelaide before, has moving here met expectations? Certainly not in all areas. Some parts of our life are great, in other areas we are worse off. Would I move back to the UK? Maybe / maybe not. I certainly wouldn't rule it out, but I have to consider husband and my children too (tbh my Australian husband is surprisingly quite keen to move back to England).

 

There is an awful lot to consider:

 

• The cost of moving (more expensive from Aus to UK than vice-versa)
  
• Children's welfare/schooling
  
• Housing
  
• Jobs
  
• Long term considerations such as healthcare/retirement
  
• The trauma of moving again!
  

 

It's not an easy decision, and somewhat flippant of people who say if you don't like it then move back. Life's not black and white!

[Guest smit]

Having been a member of this forum for a little while now I have often found it of use for many different things but I feel it is the right time to ask, those of you who would appear to be not at your happiest, in Australia at the moment :-

 

Why stay and not move back to the UK?

 

From a lot of responses from you ex-Poms is that you are not happy with Australia at this present moment in time - lack of investment in local employment, too many immigrants, going into recession, high cost of food, high cost of utilities, high cost of housing, poor schooling, bad driving, poor government, lack of investment.......the list is endless.

 

Now I know that it is advice given is as you see it but if it is that bad I ask, again :-

 

Why stay and not move back to the UK?

 

Or are you just wanting to whinge and if so surely any advice coming from a whinge should be given carefully.

 

Cheers,

 

Mis

I would say that that is a very generalised statement, and the way Ive read it ( unless im wrong) would suggest that you think every immigrant who has made a negative comment about something moans about all the above mentioned things. Well if someone did moan about all of the above, then yeah, whats making you stay?.

In reality , Ive never met anyone who has moaned about everything. People have different opinions, and if they mentioned one or two things, whats the problem?...no wheres perfect.

I agree with some things you wrote...however , Im one year into retraining and am actually enjoying work for the first time in 30years!!! ( must be mad) and things are going good. You can dislike some things and still be happy!!!.

 

Just my opinion......

Edited May 31, 2013 by smit

[Jessica Berry]

Friends of ours from the UK came over to Australia a few years before us. The husband's company brought them over, paid for them to move here, they had a rental set up for them on arrival which was paid for, a job and income straight away, they came over when the exchange rate was high so they had money in their pocket and he did nothing but moan, moan, moan. After 6 years here they went back to the UK and guess what he still moans!!!

[minty]

Maybe people's expectations of a place does'nt match the reality.Disagree that the UK is alot bloody worse.I think depends where you came from!

 

Guildford, Surrey. Worked mainly in London. To busy, to squashed in. Yep in my opinion a lot bloody worse. But I never emigrated to escape, we had a great life just wanted a change and had a dream. It was never a get out at all costs exercise either. I personally would not of come on a temp visa and if during my research I found it was not going to better us again I would not of come. I have great fondness for the UK but the economy is dire there and their is no short term fix.

 

Are we happy here ? Yes. Were we happy in the UK ? Yes. Will we stay in Oz forever ? Who knows. Will we go back to the UK ? No because life is an experience and if we decide to move in the future it will be for a different experience.

Edited May 31, 2013 by minty

[Guest mycatiscalledspot]

I think you need The Monaghans! They spring to mind as some of the few that have pingponged back to Adelaide.

 

There must be others that do this as well, is it something that people are embarrassed to admit? Only asking as know that if we go we will just go and not come back as the cost will wipe us out! Still just wondering why if here has not worked out for you (for whatever reason) and you return to UK then what is so bad in the UK that made you come back again?? Just trying to figure out why people are finding the UK not the place to be right now as friends in the UK tell us we're in the best place as not there and we're not sure if we're happy here!!

[snifter]

I have met some ppl that stay just for citizenship..... Then will go back!!

 

I have read numerous times on forums of people planning to do this so they can keep their options open for themselves and/or for their kids. I can see the arguments for and against.

[snifter]

There must be others that do this as well, is it something that people are embarrassed to admit? Only asking as know that if we go we will just go and not come back as the cost will wipe us out! Still just wondering why if here has not worked out for you (for whatever reason) and you return to UK then what is so bad in the UK that made you come back again?? Just trying to figure out why people are finding the UK not the place to be right now as friends in the UK tell us we're in the best place as not there and we're not sure if we're happy here!!

 

I think for people living in the UK and reading/hearing the news every day the perception is that the UK is struggling so you start to perhaps think the same way. However, that isn't true for every person on these shores and many are living their life fine, recession or no recession. Doesn't mean people have tons of cash to spare or are all working full time in permanent jobs but they can get by. But the employment side of things is an issue for many, privatising the NHS, big changes to the UK education system planned, pensions are another thing, aged care...... its a long list. But you can have a nice life here, just not with the security we once had in many things.

 

Also people get jaded by the country they live in no matter what. Some aspects, some things will wear them down but they live the same day to day lives as you do, only in the UK. To them it seems like you are in an exotic place, warmer, sunnier and perceived better by many (Neighbours and Home & Away have a lot to answer for) who don't actually live there. The appalling weather hasn't helped peoples long term views of the UK. Nor has the current news of child murders and a soldier being killed in broad daylight on a London street. There is tension, perhaps more so in certain cities and areas but there is, its simmering and while many don't want any part of it, groups of people are making it their business to stir and cause unrest.

 

Often for people who migrate and find they don't settle, are homesick or don't feel happy after the massive move and adjusting (or failing to adjust, adapt and settle) they return to the UK only to find that what they thought they were missing or looking for isn't there after all. Or that what they were homesick for, the people, their family, they realise they can live the other side of the world after all. Or they realise when returned that actually, they did like it, do miss it and want to go back. Its often not an entire family are unhappy or don't settle, it can be just one person, but if that one person is miserable or not liking where they live, usually it sees the entire family going. Sometimes its an entire family but often not. Also quite a lot of people move around within Aus. So if Adelaide or SA isn't for them, they go elsewhere in Aus to find a place that is.

 

I know of another member from this forum who ping ponged and they are really happy back in Aus. But it took a move back to help them realise this.

[Jessica Berry]

There must be others that do this as well, is it something that people are embarrassed to admit? Only asking as know that if we go we will just go and not come back as the cost will wipe us out! Still just wondering why if here has not worked out for you (for whatever reason) and you return to UK then what is so bad in the UK that made you come back again?? Just trying to figure out why people are finding the UK not the place to be right now as friends in the UK tell us we're in the best place as not there and we're not sure if we're happy here!!

 

I am not sure if you look on http://www.pomsinoz.com but there is a current posting about a family that has returned from Perth and they are not sure if they have done the right thing, you might find it helpful to read...

 

http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/187109-moved-back-now-not-so-sure.html

[Guest sithewindows]

We have ping ponged ourselves, came to WA in 2007 when it was very easy for us and only stayed 6 months. Now the exchange rate and our ages our against us for visa we are coming back! Been tough and I know it won't be easy but we are really looking forward to it this time.

I think for people living in the UK and reading/hearing the news every day the perception is that the UK is struggling so you start to perhaps think the same way. However, that isn't true for every person on these shores and many are living their life fine, recession or no recession. Doesn't mean people have tons of cash to spare or are all working full time in permanent jobs but they can get by. But the employment side of things is an issue for many, privatising the NHS, big changes to the UK education system planned, pensions are another thing, aged care...... its a long list. But you can have a nice life here, just not with the security we once had in many things.

 

Also people get jaded by the country they live in no matter what. Some aspects, some things will wear them down but they live the same day to day lives as you do, only in the UK. To them it seems like you are in an exotic place, warmer, sunnier and perceived better by many (Neighbours and Home & Away have a lot to answer for) who don't actually live there. The appalling weather hasn't helped peoples long term views of the UK. Nor has the current news of child murders and a soldier being killed in broad daylight on a London street. There is tension, perhaps more so in certain cities and areas but there is, its simmering and while many don't want any part of it, groups of people are making it their business to stir and cause unrest.

 

Often for people who migrate and find they don't settle, are homesick or don't feel happy after the massive move and adjusting (or failing to adjust, adapt and settle) they return to the UK only to find that what they thought they were missing or looking for isn't there after all. Or that what they were homesick for, the people, their family, they realise they can live the other side of the world after all. Or they realise when returned that actually, they did like it, do miss it and want to go back. Its often not an entire family are unhappy or don't settle, it can be just one person, but if that one person is miserable or not liking where they live, usually it sees the entire family going. Sometimes its an entire family but often not. Also quite a lot of people move around within Aus. So if Adelaide or SA isn't for them, they go elsewhere in Aus to find a place that is.

 

I know of another member from this forum who ping ponged and they are really happy back in Aus. But it took a move back to help them realise this.