Guest skel

limbo

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    Guest skel

    hi all

    we moved to Adelaide in late 2011,i got work as a tiler got a long term rental son was in school and my wife got a job part time after a few months,but I really really struggled to settle and got depressed we came back to the uk after six months and got bac k to normal,we have been back a year and a half but now I miss Adelaide so much I think about going back every single day, my wife knows how I feel but says she will not go back even though she was ok there. any ideas as I am so fed up here.i keep in touch with friends in Adelaide about work and things thanks for any help Neil. ps I miss my 5 a side footie down at seaford rec on a Tuesday night

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    Hi Skel, I feel for you. the grass can always seem greener but to have taken the plunge, come back and then regret it must be very hard to take. can you not convince your wife that experiencing both makes you sure what you want out of life? maybe a good idea for both of you is to write down a list of the pros and cons? - the Adelaide life may come out on top!

     

    I have to admit, I can't wait to go in Dec but worry that some of the things I take for granted wil be the things I miss the most......time will tell

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    Guest Guest75

    I really don't know what your solution would be to be honest mate.

     

    I'd try to concentrate on your life in the UK and your lovely family.

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    That's a hard one; how old is your son? Would it be fair to move him again? Perhaps he is the one your wife is thinking of more? Is your visa still valid, could you return easily enough?

     

    We've said from the outset that we need to be here long enough to gain our Citizenship and to weather any wobbles while we get there and hopefully by that time we'd be settled enough here and it would be too disruptive to our children schooling-wise to return after that - but that if we did they would then have all avenues open to them as they grew older. I can't speak for anyone else's situation but I think to return within twelve months of arriving will leave you with feelings of "we just didn't give it enough time" because even now, 14 months in it still feels very new to me, there's always something that I hadn't realised Australians did, or didn't do and there's definitely way too much country that we haven't even begun to explore yet.

     

    As has already been suggested maybe you and your wife (and son if he's old enough) need to sit down, write a list if it will help but at the very least talk about why you want to return, why she doesn't and maybe come up with a compromise - maybe she'll be willing to look at coming back when your son has left school, that sort of thing?

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    A tough one. I'd put to one side your feelings (I know, easier said than done) and put your wife and son first. You've moved here once and got depressed; it seems unfair to drag your family out again. After all, what will be different this time around?

     

    Jim

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