Guest SouthernStar

my Adelaide experience

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    Guest SouthernStar

    Howdy all,

     

    I'd like to share a few of my experiences since moving to Adelaide in March this year with my partner. We are in our early 30s and do not have children. We enjoy travelling, live music, film, art, museums and socialising (drinking).

     

    We have unfortunately found a large number of people here are quite racist and while I understand this forum is called Poms in Adelaide the use of the term 'Pom' DRIVES ME MAD!!! I have found it used by South Australians not in a light hearted way but said through gritted teeth as a derogatory term. A colleague of mine proudly said to me when I first arrived that australia is "built on racism and drinking" - I, sadly, believe this to be true. The odd time I have mustered up the effort to slip in a "convict" comment in response to an Australian it is met with disbelief, that says to me you shouldn't give it if you can't take it. There are also the general feelings aimed towards aboriginal people which I find disgusting but I wont get started on that now.

     

    Unfortunately I am not enjoying my time in South Australia there is a really small minded attitude here, the old 'big country town' comes to mind. Some people may enjoy that side of life, the 20 minute city, the wineries and the beach but is that enough to live a rich and varied life? Where is the cultural heritage? If you look on Trip Advisor at the top attractions 1 of them is Beehive Corner and another is those silver balls on rundle mall. I dont want to come on here and slate SA because there are good things, the botanic garden, port elliot, victor harbour to name but a few. Once you have visited these places once or twice you'll be ready to visit again in 3 - 6 months, not before.

     

    I cant stress enough that it is each to their own and I know the cry of "only boring people get bored" but I find this place painfully boring and personally cant wait to leave.

     

    Does anyone else feel this way or, dare I say it, am I being a windging P.....brit?

     

    Cheers

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    I think it's fair comment if they are your experiences.

     

    I can get what you mean about cultural heritage but I do try to keep in mind that compared to the UK or Europe, that westernised heritage only really has a couple of hundred years behind it here. Not a thousand or more in the history books and folklore that we were accustomed to in the UK. I just try to consider that when I look around me and struggle to appreciate what I see. It all has it's place anyways, at least to me, even if I don't find it appealing or it's a bit new.

     

    With regards to the Pom word, I've yet to experience it from anyone referring to me directly but it's not been as long for me so it may well happen. I have heard it used with broader application though. I don't read too much into it though but that might change.

     

    I think SA is slower and quieter paced, as to if that's a negative in future for us, remains to be seen. We didn't live a fast paced city life in the UK.

     

    Hrm, have to head out now so can't write the rest :/ Maybe later if I get the chance.

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    Guest Guest12727

    Hi SouthernStar,

     

    If I worked with people with attitudes like your colleagues, I wouldn't be impressed either.....and would probably be looking for a new job.

     

    You mention you like 'live music, film, art, museums'. Just wondering what your experiences of those are? Did you arrive too late for the Festival, fringe and Womad in March? If so, hopefully you have looked at next years program and picked some gems to see - if you are still here then. Since March we have had the cabaret festival and recently the film festival and Adelaide book week. What did you think of these? What live music venues have you tried? Any advise to help others looking for similar?

     

    As with all places in the world, you need to find the people with values and attitudes that match yours. Whether that means moving job and location within Adelaide, or trying a different city completely is up to you. I only hope you have some experiences that you can look back on and remember fondly.

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    I agree with most of what you are saying (although I don't find port Elliot particularly exciting lol).

     

    I've been here nearly six years though and have never heard the word Pom used in a derogatory manner, or many I just don't see it as that? I get called Pom a lot, and I give back any stick happily and never get anything except laughs.

    It really does depend a lot on who you talk to. Some people are like 'normal' people, others are just sickening.

    I'm always shocked when people happily tell people about losing their licences for drink driving. No shame at all.

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    Guest Guest12727

    .....by the way, there was no convict colony in SA, which may explain the reaction you get when mentioning it. SA population was built on migration, funnily.

    Re culture, have you explored the Aboriginal culture, 40,000 years of it? There are some great sites in Flinders ranges and even closer to home, near The Murray.

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    the use of the term 'Pom' DRIVES ME MAD!!! I have found it used by South Australians not in a light hearted way but said through gritted teeth as a derogatory term. .

     

    Does anyone else feel this way or, dare I say it, am I being a windging P.....brit?

     

     

    Lol! I don't think you come over as a whinging anything! After all, it's simply your opinion and it sounds as though you might have come across some people that are just harder to like...

     

    That said, I think it can take time to settle into a new place, see what's actually here without comparing us to fancier places lol and learn what makes SA tick.

     

    Culture - as Howde pointed out, we have the indigenous culture stretching back over 40k years and it's fascinating. There are many sights (and sites!) to see, stories to hear and history to learn in South Australia. I love Burra, where the Cornish copper miners lived from the mid C19, in dugouts along the side of the river. Or Adelaide Gaol, Ayers House, Lobethal, Hahndorf, Maclaren Vale...there are so many places to see but I take your point that you won't want to see them every month. Then again, how many places would you?

     

    The 'P' word - it's not usually meant maliciously, honest! In my experience, most people here know where their family originally came from and will describe themselves as wogs, lebs, micks, dutch etc. Pom is really no different...unless used in the same way some people back in the UK refer to eastern Europeans stealing 'their' jobs. Perhaps as unemployment gets worse people will be that rude but only until you've become part of the community and people know you. If possible (and you're in the situation so you know best) smile, don't let it get to you and give as good as you got!

     

    If you can bear it, stick around until you've had a year here and experience why we are called The Festival State. Soon the outside cinemas will open - lovely sitting with a picnic as dusk falls, watching a film whilst listening to the possums getting ever closer, snuggling under rugs. The Garden of Unearthly Delights with the twinkly lights, bars, comedians, shows and good humour isn't too far off opening. Sorry, I'm going off on a tangent again! If you are going to leave then relax, go with the flow and hopefully, at least get a bit of a rest.

     

    Good luck.

    LC

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    Guest Guest75

    Personally I do not mind being called a Pom at all!!!

     

    It's just another nickname to me. :cute:

    In fact I'm a "Pozzie" now- having settled ,embraced ,got the passport and have great acceptance by the Aussies.

    The majority of my friends are Aussies - I am the "Token Pom" in some instances - I love it.:biggrin:

     

    I do get good natured ribbing a lot - sometimes there are tougher nuts to crack, one recently told me that I "have a country to go back to", my retort - "this will do nicely here thanks" - he cracked a smile.:wink:

     

    Only ONCE have I really had anti Pom sentiments directed at me - drunken Vietnam Vet I was trying to remove from a local charity fund raiser.

     

     

    Today I was helping out some friends at the Christies Beach Christmas Pageant - I was handing out leaflets to the crowd.

    Not once was anyone rude to me,only two out of roughly a thousand refused a leaflet but were polite about it. Even had time to chat with many Aussies and they can tell I am a Pom by my accent - nothing but pleasant and polite.

     

    Adelaide is not for everyone - I fully appreciate that.

     

    I reckon you have attempted to settle in the wrong state.

    Is it possible to try other states??

    Melbourne and Sydney are buzzing with that "younger vibe"

    Adelaide is very attractive for young families - great environment for kids to grow up in.

    Also for the older mob who have been there and gotten the T-shirt in earlier life.

     

    Noted it's your first post, perhaps a bit of discussion,chatter, banter and advice on here would have made things easier for you.

     

     

    In my best Aussie humour - YA ARE A WHINGING POM!:tongue::tongue::tongue:

    Edited by Guest75
    Adding more.

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    .

     

    I reckon you have attempted to settle in the wrong state.

     

    Is it possible to try other states??

    Melbourne and Sydney are buzzing with that "younger vibe"

     

    I was thinking about my earlier post, came back and read Tyke's and I reckon perhaps he's summed it up; maybe this is just not the right part of Australia for you.

     

    I love it here - and I do think that you will find there's a lot more here than you've seen so far - but that's me. If I made it sound as though you would definitely love SA, given time, then I apologise. It might just not be for you.

     

    :wubclub: LC

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    I personally take absolutely no offence at being called a pom, in fact I call myself a pom when chatting to others and have no problem with the 'label'. I generally find that Aussies have a lot of affection for us poms and enjoy friendly banter with us especially when they are winning at the cricket!

     

    Where I work we have some right discussions in the lunchroom on all sorts of topics. Yes, some of the conversations/opinions/views I may not agree with, but I personally find it refreshing that we can all sit around and chat freely and openly without the fear of someone complaining about another person because they have taken offence, like we would in the UK.

     

    If you are in a job you are perhaps not enjoying that can often cloud your judgement of your experience here. Do you have friends to socialise with and talk things through?

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    The 'pom' title is usually good natured in my experience, but by no means always so. There's a pom-bashing mentality from some here, and it can be nasty. Take this snippet from a 'news' article from the Advertiser. It was only about about a TripAdvisor poll of the world's best beaches and therefore was - I assume - meant to be light-hearted, but the tone sums up the worst of Adelaide when it comes to the British:

     

    "Seriously, the Poms prefer their own miserable beaches to ours ... Well, at least that explains why they've done their best to turn Bondi into the sort of stinking cesspit to which they are accustomed."

     

    Such remarks about another nationality passed the editorial test. Would they write that about India? An African nation, perhaps? America? No, it's what passes for wit when referring to the British. I've heard this sort of thing at business lunches and conferences as well as back yard BBQs; not too often, fortunately, but I've heard it, and whenever I do it reinforces how far Adelaide has to go to catch up with the rest of the world.

     

    As an aside, the same article has the immortal line:

     

    "Now, obviously no Brit should ever be consulted on the matter of taste."

     

    Now, it takes a very thick skin or a very thick person to have the gall to talk about anybody else having a lack of taste when dressing up here means going to the petrol station in bare feet, or finding out what's in fashion by wandering (likely still bereft of foot ware) into KMart ...

     

    Jim

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    Poms isn't always used in a light-hearted way - have you noticed that it is always 'the Poms' when talking about cricket?

     

    Most Aussies are fine, but I did have a work colleague start having a go at me on Remembrance Day one year. He got really quite nasty, blaming me (obviously as the representative of a whole nation) for the fall of Singapore and abandoning Australia in World War 2!!! I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing, especially as the guy in question was of German descent and I thought that Japan were the enemy at time.....!

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    Hmm... sorry to hear you're not enjoying SA. Whilst it may be that it's not just for you, I do also think you may also be just hanging around with the wrong people! You haven't been here long - it takes time to settle, and find people of a like mind. I totally hear a lot of what you're saying. I have often been shocked at attitudes here towards different cultures, aboriginals etc quite shocking. I also find the pervasive sports culture hard to handle. As someone not remotely interesting in playing or watching sport, I have at times found Adelaide (not sure if this would go for all of Aus as I've only lived in Adelaide) a difficult place to be. Comments such as 'so do you go for Port or Crows?' Answer: Neither, not really into the footy. 'Oh, you're a Pom. So do you go for Manchester Utd?' no, not really into any sport to be honest... and then i get a look like I've just admitted to some perverse sexual deviancy.

     

    I get that there isn't the same culture as in Europe. I really miss weekends in European cities, the great architecture, foods, languages etc. I really have felt everything you've felt at some point. However, at nearly six years in, I really do love living here. I've realised that day to day, I would do similar things in Australia to what I would in England. Eg work in my chosen profession, throw dinner parties, exercise, hang out with friends, see live music, go to festivals, live shows, theatre etc, go to yoga classes... etc etc - basically day to day life is similar. Just here, it's sunnier, I can be outdoors more and I can afford to live in a beautiful spot by the beach.

     

    So you say you're into live music - have you explored the scene here much? Seen some gigs at the Gov, the Grace Emily, the Wheatsheaf? Have you done much travelling in SA - camping even? There are so many beautiful spots within just a couple of hours drive. I think give it a little longer if you can - focus on meeting people on the same wavelength as you (I get it - I cried once after working with some total losers upon arriving - I was so scared everyone I would meet would be obsessed with sport, drinking in horrible tacky bars and be into cars - no offence to people with these interests, it just isn't me, and it seemed the first 50 people I met in SA were like this).

     

    Try and go a full year so you can experience Fringe festival, womad, adelaide festival etc and a full summer before you judge, and get out there and meet some people with similar interests. It can take a while for this to happen, so don't rush. Good luck and enjoy the journey. x

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    PS some other suggestions - sorry if you've already tried these - but based on your interests have you also: checked out movies at Palace Nova and Palace Eastend in the city. They often have international films, film festivals etc. There are also some really cute cinemas around that show art house/international/old classics as well as modern films - eg the Windsor in Brighton (2 movies for $10 - $8 on a Tuesday), there's a place in Semaphore, Capri on Goodwood Road. There are also outdoor cinemas over summer, including in the Botanic Gardens (google Moonlight Cinema) and this year there's one at Glenelg - sponsored by Ben and Jerry's. Oh, also check out the Mercury cinema in the city - also lots of film special events, arthouse, international film festivals and associated events.

     

    Based on drinking - have you tried some of the quirkier bars in and around Adelaide? I'm not a big fan of the general drinking culture here (or anywhere) - eg the idea of a Saturday night at somewhere like the Stag makes me want to gouge out my eyes, but there are some lovely bars, such as Cantina Sociale (run by a winemaker, all wines straight from the barrel, really interesting varietals on offer), Cork Wine Cafe on Gouger Street, rooftop bar at Gallery on Waymouth, Proof (can't remember street name), Clever Little Tailor, Udaberri, The Loft (all these are in the CBD). Also if you're into wine, have you explored all the wine regions? What about some of the smaller ones, for example, Langhorne Creek has less than 10 cellar doors and they do some excellent reds, it's an hour from the city, very pretty spot - ideal for a weekend or overnight get away. You could tie that in with a mooch around the antique shops in Strathalbyn, a cute little town.

     

    I'm not trying to force Adelaide on you, but please don't base your experiences on less than a year (esp as you have missed summer and festival season - the best time in SA in my opinion), but please remember the tastes of the majority, or the type of people you've met so far, aren't necessarily indicative of what life could be like for you here, longer term. And in regards to the Trip Advisor - I'm sure the eiffel tower is number one in Paris. Now I love Paris, and have visited 10+ times, but find the eiffel tower incredibly boring. It sounds like you have some diverse interests and maybe you just need to scratch the surface and explore a little.

    Edited by soo_the_panda

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    I do empathise with your experiences and hope that isn't the norm, but it's surprising that someone would move to a relatively new (from a western perspective) country like Australia and moan at the lack of cultural heritage! Isn't this something you would have expected?

     

    What about the modern culture of Art, music, fringe festival etc that Adelaide has to offer?

    Edited by guspjmh

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    I sympathise with the OP as none of us will know how we take to it until we've given it a whirl. I don't class "culture" as a prerequisite for a fullfilled life - I am from Oldham though!!

     

    With regards to pom-bashing, you get narrow-minded people in all walks of life - I work on the basis you either distance yourselves where possible but if not possible give as give as good as you get!

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    I have personally struggled here myself. I find the crime rate really high especially in the northern suburbs, I find australians are a completely different breed of people, They can be aggressive, rude and racist but that is just my opinion and my experience.

    I actually joined on here to find some english friends. People who are actually my cup of tea.

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    Guest patsmb

    My first job some 30 years ago my supervisor hated Poms told be she would rather be black than be a Pom!

    i lasted 3 weeks and hated every minute of it

    AS time went in I learned to give as good as I got and found most quips were tongue in cheek

    I had one boss who called me a Pommy Bastard Bitch all the time but it was in good fun as my nickname for him was the Aussie a hole

    Now if I get called. Whinging Pom I just tell them I have a degree in it

    we have good friends both Poms and Aussies it takes all sorts

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    I have not found any racism or hate towards me being English. Maybe it's because I don't go on about England, looking for English friends etc.

     

    Sports banter is good, even when we do lose. But it's how you take it and what you give back.

     

    If I spent all my time telling people how good England is etc,I would expect to be unpopular.

     

    Yes, I don't particularly like some Australian Sports, but I wont telltrhose that do like them it's no good, it's just not for me. A bit like the football/soccer debate, who cares whats its called, its no big deal, but many people make it one.

     

    I am not accusing anyone on this thread of doing the above, but to me if you are having trouble maybe you aren't integrating best you can. Remember we chose to move here, we need to adapt. Just like the Poles in the UK...they are claiming less benefits and paying more taxes than the 'locals', but many Brits are leaving the country because of their so called 'bludging'!!!

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    Guest Guest75

    That's the trouble though - the OP posted this and then has not visited again???

     

     

    Is it just me or does anyone else see a pattern???

     

    Unhappy POM............ Let me go on on the forums and whinge.

     

     

    How about the old adage " a problem shared is a problem halved".

     

    Why not come on when the first doubts and problems start.

     

    I did at one time make the effort at least to help out/ advise/support/mentor those who were finding it difficult.

    Some are really thriving here now after a rocky start - and making a great contribution to this FINE country.

     

    Speaking to my Aussie friends about the OP's post they are dumbfounded.

     

     

    Sorry if I talk straight and sound harsh but .................

    Edited by Diane
    unnecessary abuse of other member

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    Guest Claire-n-tel
    Would love to see the OP join in the discussion - lots of interesting ideas and points raised.

     

    Ditto Sue!.....occassionally there seems to be a member who joins up just to make a post that will/could be a bit emotive/contraversal/etc and then disappers.

     

    Makes me wonder if they are not really wanting advise or making a contrabution but just posting something to then sit back and watch the fall out? Maybe we would be better to stop posting replies unless the op returns?

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    Guest jorose

    To the point ,yet still objective, opinion - 1) "DRIVES YOU MAD" being called a POM? get over it, there are far worse things in life. That (in my opinion) is as bad as how the race card was always being pulled back in the UK for the shortened term of Pakistani people. Used to drive me insane as it was always deemed perfectly acceptable to shorten other nationality terms such as Scottish to Scot, British to Brit etc etc. 2) "NOT ENJOYING YOUR TIME IN SA" - move on or don't be so blinkered as to thinking there are only the tourist destinations to seek enjoyment and excitement from. I too, suspect this person is a troll but if not there are plenty of opinions for the OP to consider.

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    "DRIVES YOU MAD" being called a POM? get over it, there are far worse things in life. That (in my opinion) is as bad as how the race card was always being pulled back in the UK for the shortened term of Pakistani people. Used to drive me insane ...

     

    Totally off topic, but had to laugh that someone would point out that being driven mad is an over-reaction and then give an example of something similar that used to drive them insane! :biglaugh:

     

    I too have noted the OP's lack of a response, but what do you expect from a pom? :wink:

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    Guest jorose
    Totally off topic, but had to laugh that someone would point out that being driven mad is an over-reaction and then give an example of something similar that used to drive them insane! :biglaugh:

     

    I too have noted the OP's lack of a response, but what do you expect from a pom? :wink:

     

    I think it's more of the one rule for one that p'd me off. :-)

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