Guest louise78

Need advice

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    Guest louise78

    Hi there

    We need advice we moved here on 1 dec shipped our furniture over, my husband has a job which is great i dont at the moment with it been school hols but were really home sick.

    I no we have not given it enough time but our son thinks he has no grandparents anymore even though we talk regulaly on facetime and skype hes 7.

    i on the other hand miss my family so much and my old life we had a great social life with great friends and now regretting the move, we have spent so much money to get here but again its the family ties.

    The weather is fantastic here but i miss getting snuggled up in bed on cold nights.

    i feel bad that i want to go home!

    what to do????

    sorry to moan Louise

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    Hi there

    We need advice we moved here on 1 dec shipped our furniture over, my husband has a job which is great i dont at the moment with it been school hols but were really home sick.

    I no we have not given it enough time but our son thinks he has no grandparents anymore even though we talk regulaly on facetime and skype hes 7.

    i on the other hand miss my family so much and my old life we had a great social life with great friends and now regretting the move, we have spent so much money to get here but again its the family ties.

    The weather is fantastic here but i miss getting snuggled up in bed on cold nights.

    i feel bad that i want to go home!

    what to do????

    sorry to moan Louise

    Sorry to read your unsettled it takes time most of us on here have been through the same feelings ,perhaps you could plan a few outings with your son around Adelaide hop on the bus or train see where you get to.I see your from Yorkshire where abouts ,were from Morley .Keep a look out on here for meet ups. All the best

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    Guest Guest12727
    Hi there

    The weather is fantastic here but i miss getting snuggled up in bed on cold nights.

     

    You have been here such a short time, you wouldn't want to make any rash decisions. Wait until your son gets settled in school - he will make friends and it is likely you will too, with parents of his friends. Social life will go from there.

     

    When you have experienced all 4 seasons, you will find there are plenty of times to snuggle in bed from the cold. It's not that long ago that the main topic of conversation on this forum was how cold it was and what did people do to keep warm :wink:

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    I think it's still early days and it can all feel unsettling and hard to get to grips with. If you all out and out hate it here, fair enough, get back to the UK ASAP. If its homesickness, missing familiar things, keep in mind you arrived at a tough time of year, being away from loved ones over Christmas and so on. Throw in summer holidays and you not working, you probably have time to sit and let it all stew in your mind, to sort of become more of a thing than if you had some distractions via work and living life. You have little to compare to how life was in the UK as you don't really have structure or much else here yet. Of course your social life was better in the UK if you had friends and family round you. And someone to babysit for a night out and so on. That sort of thing takes time wherever you move, be it an hour or two away or the other side of the world. Same with work, it takes time to settle in.

     

    i think you can get your son to understand about his grandparents back in the UK. It will just take a little time and patience while he takes it all on board.

     

    Migrating is a huge thing, make no mistake. If you and your family really cannot get to grips with being away from family and friends then consider returning to the UK in the not too distant future. But, big but here, I cannot stress enough how confusing and unsettling it can be if you are really hankering after the life you left behind. It probably won't allow you to begin to feel settled here or give you space to adapt and get used to being away from family etc. I tend to try to limit skype and chatting with people in the UK to once a fortnight or so, to give us a chance to settle in, find our feet and get out here and give it a really good go. My parents also write to my son, actual letters and cards in the post in between. It's nice and gives him contact.

     

    What were your reasons for migrating if you were happy in the UK? I get for the adventure but if it's not a pleasant one, don't hang around. If it was for other reasons, sit and examine them carefully and with a clear head to see if any of those reasons still stand. If they do, weigh up if they win out for a while.

     

    There is to me the initial culture shock, the weeks after you arrive when it's all a bit of an anticlimax after all the months planning, the 'what have we done' moments when you are overwhelmed, tired, unsure, bit sad, confused, lonely and so much more. I don't know this is really homesickness as I would class it but more a realisation of what you have done and where you are. It can send some people into a panic or leave them feeling they want to go back. Some do, some don't. Everyone is different.

     

    Did you expect to miss people so much? To feel such a pull? Are you really close to them? Did you spend lots of time with them or live near them? Look at all those things and see what you think.

     

    I think you need a bit more time, to give yourself a chance to find work, make friends, settle your son. Even if it's only a few months or so, give yourself a chance to see if it can work for you here. If you do then go back to the UK at least you know for sure how you feel about it all. I am not sure anyone can really know for certain if they are in such early days and have not really had time to settle in and find their feet nor if they haven't really tried to do this before returning.

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    Guest Stranger Intruder

    think that it is not last point in your journey

    you are not buried here

    your losses are the payment for the new experience

    try to get as much as possible from being here ( not money! )

    and remember you are free to go further

    you got here because you could not stay there

    so your destiny is to move

    on this way you will see more loses then gains

    but you will get to the points when you will know and understand more

    this is the biggest gift the human can get

    ever

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